Funny Virus List
PAUL REVERE VIRUS: This
revolutionary virus does not horse around. It
warns you of impending hard disk attack -- once if by LAN, twice
if by C.
POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS: Never calls itself a
"virus," but instead
refers to itself as an "electonic microorganism."
ROSS PEROT VIRUS: Activates every component in your system, just
before
the whole thing quits.
MARIO CUOMO VIRUS: It would be a great virus, but it refuses to
run.
OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to
80MB, and
then slowly expands back to 200MB.
AT&T VIRUS: Every three minutes it tells you what great
service you are
getting
THE MCI VIRUS: Every three minutes it reminds you that you are
overpaying
for the AT&T virus.
TED TURNER VIRUS: Colorizes your monochrome monitor.
ARNOLD SWARZENEGGER VIRUS: Terminates and stays resident. It'll
be back.
DAN QUAYLE VIRUS: Prevents your system from spawning any child
processes
without joining into a binary network.
DAN QUAYLE VIRUS 2: Their is sumthing rong with your compueter,
ewe just
can't figyour out watt.
RIGHT TO LIFE VIRUS: Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless
of how
old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to
first see a
counselor about possible alternatives.
GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS: Nothing works, but all your
diagnostic
software says everything is fine.
NEW WORLD ORDER VIRUS: Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of
people
really mad just thinking about it.
FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of
little
units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which
claim to
be the most important part of the computer.
PRO-CHOICE VIRUS
Violently destroys your computer's most important file, then
denies that the file was a file.
GALLUP VIRUS: Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38
percent of
their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent
margin of
error).
TERRY RANDLE VIRUS: Print "Oh no you don't" whenever
you choose "Abort"
from the "Abort, Retry, Fail" message.
TEXAS VIRUS: Makes sure its bigger than any other file.
ADAM AND EVE VIRUS: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
MICHAEL JACKSON VIRUS: Hard to identify because it is constantly
altering
its appearance. The virus won't harm your PC, but it will trash
your car.
CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS: The computer locks up, screen splits
erratically
with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for
the
problem.
AIRLINE VIRUS: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
FREUDIAN VIRUS: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its
own
motherboard.
PBS VIRUS: Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for money.
ELVIS VIRUS: Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy and then self
destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service
stations
across rural America.
OLLIE NORTH VIRUS: Turns your printer into a document shredder.
NIKE VIRUS: Just Does It!
SEARS VIRUS: Your data won't appear unless you buy new cables,
power
supply, and a set of shocks.
JIMMY HOFFA VIRUS: Nobody can find it.
CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS: Runs every program on the hard drive
simultaneously,
but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything.
KEVORKIAN VIRUS: Helps your computer shut down whenever it wants
to.
IMELDA MARCOS VIRUS: Sings you a song (slightly off key) on boot
up then
subtracts money from your Quicken account and spends it all on
expensive
shoes it purchases through Prodigy.
STAR TREK VIRUS: Invades your system in places where no virus has
gone
before.
HEALTH CARE VIRUS: Tests your system for a day, finds nothing
wrong, and
send you a bill for $4,500.
GEORGE BUSH VIRUS: It starts by boldly stating, "Read my
test...no new
files!" on the screen, proceeds to fill up all the free
space on your
hard drive with new files, then blames it on the Congressional
Virus.
LAPD VIRUS: It claims it feels threatened by the other files on
your PC
and erases them in "self-defense."
CHICAGO CUBS VIRUS: Your PC makes frequent mistakes and comes in
last in the
reviews, but you still love it.