Obligatory Lawyer Jokes
At a cemetery outside of Buffalo
three men -- a priest, a physician, and a lawyer -- joined the
grieving widow at the services for their dearest friend. The
widow asked if each could place an offering in the casket, as
this had long been a custom in her husband's family.
The priest nodded his head and then said a short prayer before
placing a $100 bill in the casket.
The physician, nearly in tears, also placed a $100 bill in the
casket.
Then the lawyer scribbled out a check for $300, put it in the
casket, and pocketed the $200 cash.
Washington, D.C. has the most lawyers and New Jersey has the most toxic waste dumps -- New Jersey had first choice.
Q: How do you know that God, who
created the world out of chaos and darkness, is a lawyer?
A: Because he made chaos and darkness first.
An Ohio man went to see a
Cleveland lawyer and asked what his least expensive fee was.
"One hundred dollars for three questions," said the
lawyer.
"Isn't that an awful lot of money for three questions?"
asked the man.
"Yes," said the lawyer. "What is your final
question?"