You Might Be A Redneck...
If you ever used lard in bed.

If you own more than three shirts with cut-off sleeves.

If you have ever spray painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass.

If you consider a six pack of beer and a bug zapper quality entertainment.

If your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

If someone asks to see your I.D. and you show them your belt buckle.

If the primary color of your car is primer.

If your dog and your wallet are both on a chain.

If you owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.

If you ever lost a tooth opening a beer bottle.

If Jack Daniels makes your list of most admired people.

If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.

If you prominently display a souvenir you bought at Graceland.

If your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does.

If your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.

If you have ever signed a petition to have the national anthem changed to "Free Bird."

If you call the boss "dude."

If you think Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy.

If you consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

If you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.

If you need one more hole punched in your card before you get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

If your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.

If you get an estimate from the barber before he cuts your hair.

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