Special High Intensity Training
Interoffice Memo
SUBJECT: SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and
productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all
employees well trained through our program of
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.).
We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else.
If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the
job, please see your manager.
You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list,
and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get
all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.
Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in
DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS
(D.E.E.P S.H.I.T.).
Those who fail to take D.E.E.P S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go
to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T S.H.I.T.).
Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they
don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T.
already.
If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job
training others. We can add your name to our
BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.).
Those who are full of B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. will get
the S.H.I.T. jobs, and can apply for promotion to
DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY PROGRAMMING (D.I.P. S.H.I.T.).
If you have further questions, please direct them to our
HEAD OF TRAINING,
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).
Thank you,
BOSS IN GENERAL
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)