kimi
ni nemuru shihaisha wa ima mo mukuchi na mama
no Lies
"Haido?"
"Hm?"
Hyde looked up and twisted his head towards
the kitchen.
The
drummer finished sipping the glass of water
he held and walked towards Hyde. He stopped
around the back of the couch to rest his hand
on his lover's head, lightly stroking the soft
hair that hung around his ears.
"What
are you writing?"
"Nothing
really."
"Um,"
was Sakura's acknowledgement as he walked around
the couch and slumped down next to Hyde. He
removed the book clutched in Hyde's hands and
placed it and its accompanying pencil on the
coffee table before taking the small hands in
his own.
"What
is it?" Hyde was surprised, lately Sakura seemed
so... distant. Not that his lover had ever been
one to spend hours cuddling, but it still bothered
Hyde that moments like this were becoming less
and less frequent. He tried to set that thought
from his mind as he waited intently for Sakura's
reply.
"I
have something for you." He let go of one of
Hyde's hands to fish in his pocket while the
other squeezed the vocalist's hand tightly.
Hyde waited impatiently for Sakura to locate
the object in question. "I know I put it in
here..." the Sakura mumbled to himself, "ah,
there it is." He pulled his cupped hand out
of his pocket, its contents still a mystery
to Hyde. He sat up, and shifted his weight so
he looked directly at the vocalist. Bringing
the small hand he held up to his mouth he softly
kissed it, taking the opportunity to slip a
small band onto the vocalist's finger.
"Saku
-" Hyde tried to pull his hand away to inspect
the ring, but Sakura tightened his grip.
"First
I want to explain. I know that we can't..."
Hyde nodded, "but I still wanted you to know
that I," he paused, "want to be with you forever."
Hyde
melted into Sakura's arms. He lay back on the
couch and pulled Sakura close, kissing his lover
with a ferocity that they rarely shared anymore.
Sakura brought his hand to the back of the smaller
man's head and slipped his fingers into the
strands of brown hair, reluctantly pulling his
lips away from Hyde's. "Aren't you even going
to look at it?" He poked at Hyde's nose.
"Look
at what?" Hyde longed for the taste of Sakura's
lips more with every moment they remained apart
from his.
Sakura
smiled down at Hyde's confused face. His eyes
wide, lips parted, cheeks dusted with a light
shade of pink, it was moments like these that
reminded him exactly how lucky he was to have
someone as beautiful as his Hyde. "The _ring_
stupid."
"Oh
yeah." Hyde unwrapped one arm from around Sakura's
neck and brought his hand towards his face to
investigate the small band that now rested on
his finger. Sakura shifted his weight and pulled
Hyde forward so that he sat in his lap. "Sakura,
it's..." Hyde studied the ring.
"I
wanted to get you a diamond, but I couldn't
seem to convince the woman there that with your
ring size I wasn't buying it for my girlfriend.
You should have seen some of those -- things
-- she expected me to like." He made a face,
"Then I saw this. I thought you'd like it more
than anything else there."
Hyde's
eyes hadn't left his finger as they looked the
ring over and over. It was a thin platinum band
with an intricate design snaking around. At
the top was a single intense blue stone. "It's
beautiful."
"I
hope you like it... You have really small hands
you know... I can take it back if you don't
want it..." All the sudden the drummer couldn't
seem to think of anything to say.
"Saku,
it's perfect. I'll wear it always."
Sakura
pulled himself forward so that he was whispering
in Hyde's ear. "As long as we'll be together."
He kissed the vocalist's tear moistened cheek.
Gently, his fingertips traced the outline of
his lover's crying eyes. "Nakanai de yo. Don't
cry for me. Ever." He placed his lips on Hyde's
and held him close as the afternoon sky began
to dim towards twilight.
-----
"Ken-chaaan"
Tetsu rolled his eyes at the laughing guitarist.
"Go
- gomen ne," Ken gasped for breath between fits
of laughter -- there was something so amusing
with the tiny bassist's annoyed face. He pursed
his lips together in an attempt to halt the
onslaught of laughter and sent a sincerely apologetic
glance towards the indignant looking leader.
"Ahem."
Ken turned his head to look at a smiling face
peering at the two behind a microphone stand.
"Are we going to actually practice, or are you
two going to just play all afternoon?" Hyde's
lips curved into a knowing smile as he looked
from Ken to Tetsu and back to Ken. The bassist
blushed a light shade of pink and cleared his
throat, trying to put on the air of leader.
"Uh,
let's try that again." He shot a stern glance
at the guitarist, "This time, no playing around."
-----
Practice
was over, and pretty successful in Hyde's opinion.
They had done some work towards matching a fleeting
melody that Tetsu had been working on to some
of the vocalist's new lyrics, and if it kept
up like this, they'd have a great song. He smiled
inwardly wondering when the last time they had
had so many practices that were so -- painless.
In fact, the vocalist, who usually had to drag
himself to work found himself showing up early
-- well, early for him-- anticipating the days'
events. It almost reminded him of --
"Ne,
Haido." A timid voice shook Hyde out of his
reverie.
"Huh?"
He jumped, turning to face the source of the
interruption. "Oi, Yukki, you startled me."
"I'm
sorry."
"It's
okay."
"Uh,
that was a good practice, ne?"
"Un."
Hyde looked questioningly into the drummer's
eyes. What was this about anyway?
"I,
I ... uh, actually have something to ask you...
well, it's..." Yukihiro was interrupted by a
burst of laughter from the other side of the
room, as Tetsu playfully hit Ken. His eyes met
Hyde's again for a moment, then returned to
stare at the giggling pair, seeming to gain
courage. "I was, I was just wondering. Have
you noticed anything," he paused again, "strange.
About them?"
Hyde
tried his best to control the laughter tugging
at the corners of his lips. He cocked his head
to the side and looked quizzically at the drummer.
"Strange?"
"I
dunno, maybe I'm just imagining things. It just
seems..." he reached into his pocket and pulled
out a package of cigarettes, extracting a long
white cylinder. He held it to his mouth and
skillfully ignited the cigarette with one hand,
inhaling a long drag of smoke into his lungs
before continuing. "Never mind. Just ignore
that." He hunted around for an ashtray, pausing
once again to look at his two bandmates. Ken
softly shoved the smaller man out of the way
as he reached for his guitar case.
Yukihiro
picked up his things and made his way to the
studio's exit. "I'm leaving everyone. See you
tomorrow." He smiled at the round of good-byes
from the rest of the band as he waved and turned
the corner towards the building's exit. He made
his way down the hallway, disappearing from
the sight of L'Arc~en~Ciel's other three members.
-----
Hyde
followed Yukihiro a few minutes later, after
saying a quick goodbye to his bandmates. He
skipped down the stairs and walked towards his
car, humming a now-familiar melody. Tetsu really
did do a great job at writing those cute, bouncy
songs. He shook his head as he reached for the
door, reminded of Yukihiro's questioning.
Taking
his place behind the steering wheel, he had
no doubt in his mind that there _was_ something
'strange' between the bassist and guitarist.
Well strange to the drummer at least. He placed
the key in the ignition and started the car,
waiting for the engine to warm up. So Tetsu
and Ken were together. Hyde shook his head again.
He had known it was only a matter of time.
He
was happy for them; he knew how much they meant
to each other. As much as they tried to deny
it for the past few months, Hyde knew the feelings
had resurfaced -- if they had ever disappeared.
He was reminded of the times the four of them
-- himself, Tetsu, Ken and Sakura would go out
together. They had seemed so perfect for each
other. But then again, he felt a small pang
grip his chest, that's what they had said about
himself and Sakura. He had always wondered what
had become of the other two's relationship.
Despite his closeness with the bassist, the
end of their relationship had always remained
a mystery to Hyde. He had kept his questioning
to a minimum, but had formulated his own theory
on the matter: although Tetsu had given his
heart fully to Ken, the latter had always seemed
to be a little apprehensive of such a close
relationship with anyone else, even one of his
best friends and lover. He had broken the bassist's
heart, something Tetsu had sworn he'd never
get over.
But
it seemed time had healed even that deep wound.
It wasn't official yet, but Hyde was sure there
was more to the pair's recent playfulness than
just simple friendship, or even innocent flirting.
He thought of Yukihiro's amazed stares and wondered
when they would tell the clueless drummer. And
-- he thought with a smile -- how.
-----
The
shrill beeping of the alarm pierced the silence,
although its noise was made in vain. Tetsu's
eyes were already open and staring at the ceiling.
He hadn't been able to sleep that night, almost
giddy with thoughts about Ken. At 5:00 he had
clamped his eyes shut, willing the tiredness
to take him into sleep. At 5:45 he realized
that it just wasn't going to happen, but forced
himself to remain it bed until the alarm sounded.
He never thought he'd see the day that he'd
_welcome_ the annoyance.
The
bassist pushed back the covers and rose out
of bed, heading towards the bathroom. The chill
of the morning air provoked goosebumps to rise
on his light skin. Tetsu shivered, rubbing his
naked arms and wondered why he insisted on going
to sleep in just pajama bottoms. Stifling a
yawn, he knew he was going to regret not trying
harder to get more sleep the night before, but
at this point didn't care. He was going to see
Ken in -- he looked down at his watch -- about
53 minutes. He smiled as he kicked the bathroom
door shut and turned on the water, wondering
how he was ever going to find enough patience
to wait for the morning's practice.
-----
A
form moved through the dark expanse of Hyde's
bedroom. The familiar heavy footsteps, the way
he carried himself, it had to be -
"Sa-Sakura?"
The
form turned to face the half-awake vocalist.
Even in the dark, Hyde could feel the drummer's
penetrating stare.
"Haido."
Just
his voice almost brought tears to Hyde's eyes
as he studied the form of his lover. Sakura
crossed the room and lowered himself to the
bed, staring intently into the other man's eyes.
Hyde jumped into the other's arms, pulling himself
into Sakura's chest. "I missed you so much."
Tears began to fall.
"I
missed you too, Hyde." Sakura lifted himself
and the small man in his arms so that he was
seated on the bed. He squeezed Hyde tightly
and placed the vocalist's head on his chest,
pausing for a moment to kiss his soft brown
hair.
Hyde
sobbed in Sakura's arms. He had given up all
hope of ever seeing him again. After over a
year of no contact, it seemed clear that it
was over, that Sakura had moved on. But now.
Hyde
looked up into the familiar face of the man
he loved. He closed his eyes and lightly brushed
his lips against Sakura's. The other man held
him closely and kissed him back, softly running
his tongue around the vocalist's mouth. Hyde
sighed, he was finally with his Sakura again.
Sakura
broke the kiss, shifting himself so he lay down
next to Hyde. Hyde scooted closer to the drummer
and put his arms around his shoulders, squeezing
tightly. "Tell me it's going to last forever,"
he whispered into the dark.
"I
was wrong about forever."
The
familiarity of the statement shook Hyde as he
searched his mind to remember when he had heard
that last.
Wasn't
that what he said when ... ?
He
was leaving again. Hyde struggled to open his
eyes, to do something to stop that man from
destroying his life -- their lives. He tried
to sit up, but found it nearly impossible, his
pale skin marred with dark bruises. "Saku -"
he didn't even have the strength to say his
name.
"Don't
make this any harder on me. On yourself. It's
the end Hyde." Sakura's back was to Hyde, staring
out the doorway. "You can't love me anymore."
Hyde
summoned up all the strength his small body
could afford, "you said it would never end,"
he whispered. "You said it would last forever."
"I
was wrong. About forever." Sakura moved towards
the door.
"NO,"
Hyde screamed, trying in vain to rush towards
the departing figure. The pain lanced through
his entire body, making it impossible to move.
Hyde heard the front door open and quietly shut.
He lowered his head to the pillow and closed
his eyes, wishing for death to take his battered
body, his battered mind...
Hyde
woke with a start, his heart racing. He reached
across the bed to --
It
had been a dream. He clenched his eyes shut
constricting the flow of tears that threatened
to fall. He thought that they were over, that
the dreams would no longer come, that he had
shed the final tear for his lost love. He was
wrong.
-----
Ken
sighed, rearranging his weight in the chair.
Today. I'm doing it today. Somehow the
affirmation managed to give him the opposite
effect than he had hoped for, robbing him of
the confidence he seemed to be in short supply
of. He looked at the clock again -- it was _still_
8:17. Practice didn't officially start for another
13 minutes, which meant that Yukki would show
up in about 20 minutes, Hyde would make an appearance
in about half an hour, and Tetsu -- Ken's heart
fluttered -- well, their leader should be here
any time now. He looked at the clock again 8:18.
Ken
heard the door open behind him. Please let
it be --. He turned.
"Tet-chan!"
"Ohayou
Ken-chan." Tetsu smiled shyly at the approaching
guitarist. Ken stopped half a meter from Tetsu.
"So."
The
bassist busied his eyes looking around the room.
"No one else is here?"
"No.
We're early."
"Oh
yeah." Tetsu shifted his weight uneasily. He
had no idea why he felt so nervous around Ken.
"Tetsu."
He
looked up from the floor to meet Ken's gaze.
"I
have..." Ken's heart was racing, "I have something
to... to ask you."
"What
is it?" Tetsu's eyes widened.
"Will
you... I mean..." he stepped forward, diminishing
the distance between himself and the smaller
man before continuing. "Are..." Ken shifted
his weight to his back leg and ran a hand through
his hair, the unfinished sentence left hanging
in the air. He begged his mouth to talk, to
tell Tetsu, but it remained uncooperative, hanging
half open.
Frustrated
at his failed attempts to express what he was
thinking, he took a more drastic route, his
arms surrounding the bassist. Tetsu didn't have
a chance to react as suddenly he felt his lips
covered by Ken's own. His eyes flew open in
surprise, then he smiled and let the hesitant
guitarist kiss him for a moment.
The
bassist suddenly broke away, leaving Ken's heart
beating. Shit. What if, what if he doesn't
want ...
"Yes."
"Huh?"
"To
answer your question, yes I will." He smiled
into Ken's eyes and reached his arms up to encircle
the taller man's neck, this time being the one
to initiate the kiss. Ken smiled, wrapping his
arms around Tetsu's slender waist, pulling the
bassist closer. Tetsu's fingers ran lightly
through his hair as Ken placed a lingering kiss
on the other man's lips and pulled away, resting
his head on the bassist's shoulder. Tetsu held
him tighter and began to sway slowly back and
forth, his warm breath caressing the back of
Ken's neck.
"Ohayou!"
The
pair jumped, trying desperately to untangle
their bodies before they were discovered. The
owner of the voice strolled through the doorway
to find his two band members blushing furiously
as they looked over a sheet of paper Tetsu held
in his hands.
"Oh,
hi Yukki." Ken walked towards the drummer and
clapped a hand on his shoulder. Tetsu smiled
at the two and greeted the drummer as the two
men came to a stop in front of the bassist.
"Ne,
what's that Tet-chan?" Yukihiro motioned towards
the piece of paper Tetsu still held in his hand.
"Uh,
nothing really. I just, well I had a question
for Ken. About a song. He was helping me with
it. But I think I've got it figured out. Thanks
Ken-chan." Tetsu folded the -- blank -- piece
of paper and shoved it in his back pocket.
"So
Hyde's late again?" Yukihiro looked around the
studio to find it empty of the vocalist in question.
Tetsu
rolled his eyes and nodded. "Maybe I should
just tell him that practice starts half an hour
earlier than it really does, that way he'll
get here on time." Tetsu thought over that last
statement. "Maybe." The three men laughed knowing
the vocalist's regular habit of showing up late
with some lame excuse.
"Well,
just because Hyde's not here doesn't mean we
can't start anyway. The three of us could work
on some stuff and just wait for him to come."
"That
sounds like a great idea Ken-chan!" Tetsu smiled
broadly, "What do you think Yukki?" Yukihiro
nodded in agreement, wondering what on earth
about the suggestion had gotten Tetsu so excited.
I wonder if... again he shook the thought
from his mind, there was no way...
He
surreptitiously studied his bandmates. Or was
there?
-----
Tetsu
looked at the clock again. It was getting pretty
late -- even for Hyde -- and the vocalist hadn't
shown up or even called. It was almost as bad
as when he and Sakura had been together. They'd
waltz in an hour late without any explanation
(not that Tetsu needed one... he was pretty
sure what they were up to...) and assumed that
everything was fine. The bassist glanced at
Yukihiro. For as much as he missed Sakura, he
had to admit that their new drummer was a lot
more professional -- and easier to get along
with. As to who was a better drummer, he never
did voice his opinion on the matter.
"I
like it!" Tetsu smiled when they reached the
end of the song. Even without Hyde's lyrics,
he could already tell it was going to be great.
"I was thinking though, Ken-chan, if you start
your..." his voice trailed off when he saw the
concerned look in Ken's eyes. He followed the
guitarist's gaze towards the front of the studio
where a very pitiful form rested on the door.
Hyde
realized that the three other Laruku members
had discovered his presence and stood up, forcing
a smile. "Ne, Tet-chan, your song sounds really
good." The statement sounded almost sarcastic
with the emphasis that his voice lacked.
Tetsu
smiled warmly at the vocalist, the scolding
he had planned for Hyde's arrival quickly disappearing
from his mind. Something's definitely bothering
him. Somehow, he knew it wasn't trivial
either. Tetsu had always shared a special bond
with Hyde, they couldn't explain it, the way
they could almost sense what the other was feeling.
Consequently, they felt closer to each other
than to any other -- even Ken and Sakura --
that is when _he_ had been around. Tetsu sighed,
knowing that even after all this time the vocalist
wasn't quite over being abandoned by L'Arc~en~Ciel's
ex-member. For that, Tetsu would never forgive
Sakura.
Worried
about his friend, but not wanting to embarrass
him in front of the rest of the band, he decided
he'd wait until lunch to talk to Hyde.
"Sorry
about being late. I overslept." Hyde hoped that
they wouldn't see through his obvious lie. The
truth of the matter was that he hadn't been
able to close his eyes, much less sleep after
the vision had haunted his dreams.
"You
_always_ oversleep Haido." Ken smiled at the
vocalist, hoping to pick a playful fight and
get his mind off of whatever seemed to be bothering
him.
"Do
not." Hyde made a face as he grabbed the microphone
stand and started assembling it. "_Yesterday_
I was up early, I just didn't have anything
in the house to eat, so I had to run out to
get something to cook for breakfast. You don't
expect me to come to practice on an empty stomach,
do you?" Despite his bad mood, he took the opportunity
to defend himself against Ken's accusations.
"Of
course not, you never do _anything_ on an empty
stomach." Yukihiro joined in on the fun.
Hyde
stuck out his tongue at the giggling drummer.
"I wouldn't talk Yukki, _you're_ the one that
always has 20 bars of chocolate with him at
any given time."
"Yeah,
because _you_ always eat half of them!"
Hyde
remained silent as he plugged in his microphone.
After all, he didn't have anything to say to
that.
------
"Tetsu~~!
You're such a slave driver ne! Aren't you _ever_
going to let us break?" Ken whined playfully
to the leader. Actually, it was about a half-hour
before the time they usually ended for lunch,
but he needed _some_ excuse. Hyde really didn't
seem to be doing well today -- missed cues,
wrong notes, he had even had problems remembering
some of the words -- but Ken didn't expect an
explanation, he knew that when there really
was something wrong, Hyde remained silent about
it.
"Ken-chan,
you're such a baby!" Tetsu scolded. He almost
added 'you're getting as bad as Hyde' but thought
twice. "I guess if you're _that_ hungry we can
finish up later," he smiled at the guitarist,
"but I know what you really want to do is check
out that new intern who just got hired downstairs."
Tetsu had spent _many_ hours cursing the beautiful
girl who managed to be at the end of all Ken's
dirty jokes.
Ken's
mouth hung open in disbelief. Somehow Tetsu's
teasing managed to hurt him. He laughed it off,
but made sure to remind himself to approach
the subject when he talked to Tetsu later. After
all -- he smiled to himself -- they did have
to finish what had been interrupted earlier.
"Hey
Yukki, you wanna take a walk up to the noodle
shop? I'm dying for some!"
"Sure
Ken-chan." Yukihiro's eyes roamed towards the
other two members, "Anyone else want to come?"
"Nah,
I'm not too hungry." Tetsu silently prayed that
Hyde would stay behind as well.
"I
think I'll just stay behind with Tet-chan. You
guys go ahead." Hyde lowered himself onto the
couch.
"Kay,
we'll bring you back something." Ken waited
for the drummer to grab his coat and walked
over to the door, flashing a shy smile at Tetsu.
The
bassist felt his heart flutter and smiled back,
longing to be in Ken's arms. He waited until
the two men disappeared before crossing the
room and taking a seat next to Hyde. He opened
his mouth to begin to coax Hyde into talking
when suddenly the vocalist's arms flung out
to encircle Tetsu's waist. He almost yelped,
startled by Hyde's action, but kept silent and
began to stroke the head that now rested against
his stomach. Looking down, he realized that
Hyde had started to cry. Maybe this is worse
than I thought.
"Ne
Haido, do you want to tell me what's wrong?"
Hyde
remained silent, but the tears flowed more hastily
and his breath began to grow ragged.
"Shh."
Tetsu's famed motherly instinct set in as he
rocked the small man in his arms like a baby,
hoping to bring the tears to a stop.
"Tet-chan."
Hyde reached up and pulled himself to a sitting
position, but still rested on the bassist's
shoulder. "I dreamed about him."
Tetsu
felt his heart clench. He nodded solemnly at
the smaller man and set his mouth into a tense
frown, his teeth clamping tightly. He sent one
arm out to encircle the vocalist as he cursed
the man who _should_ be here to console his
weeping -- well, they weren't lovers anymore.
Where the hell was Sakura anyway?
Hyde's
sobbing seemed to have subsided and he looked
up at the man who held him in his arms. Tetsu
reached down to lightly kiss Hyde's forehead
as he curled up to his side. Contrary to what
everyone seemed to think, they had never been
lovers, nor wished to be -- unless one counted
the lonely nights they had spent together, each
trying to forget the pain they were suffering.
They merely shared a sort of devotion that transcended
all barriers -- including social ones that outlined
the relations of two male friends.
"It
was about that day. When he left." Hyde didn't
need to explain himself any further. Tetsu had
been the one to tend to the broken vocalist.
While paying a visit to inquire about Hyde and
Sakura's absence at practice that afternoon
he had discovered Hyde nearly unconscience and
almost to weak to talk. Tetsu had never been
more afraid in his life. He spent 4 entire days
at Hyde's side, eating little and sleeping less.
"Bastard."
The word flew involuntarily from Tetsu's lips
as he looked down at his best friend who meant
the world to him. His best friend who had finally
returned to what he had been before Sakura had
shattered his heart. And even now he was back
for more.
Hyde
looked up again. "Please ... please don't hate
him."
Tetsu
didn't know how to respond to the request. Sakura
had been one of his closest friends, but seeing
that the drummer had not contacted any of his
old band's members for over a year now, Tetsu
didn't know what to think. Right now he wasn't
sure if his feelings for the man -- his friend?
his enemy? -- were exactly hate, but he nodded
to please Hyde. Tetsu decided that he'd rather
not consider this route of thought. Ever.
-----
"Ken-chan?"
Ken's
eyes left the flickering TV screen to study
the small man who lay beside him. Tetsu shifted
under the covers, rolling his body to the side.
His long hair flowed over his bare arms and
chest, his bright eyes reflecting the soft glow
of the screen. Tetsu sipped an arm around the
guitarist's waist pulling himself forward for
a kiss.
"Tetsu,
don't," a small shove from Ken sent the confused
bassist back to his former place on the bed.
"What's
... wrong?"
A
long pause.
"I
don't think ... we should be together anymore."
-----
"You
are such a liar!" Yukihiro rearranged the bag
of take-out he carried in his arms, thankful
they had finally arrived. The food was starting
to burn his hands.
"I
swear, it's true! You can even ask Hyde."
"Tetsu
told me not to trust either of you about that."
"Hontou
ni?"
"Yeah,
it was the second thing he told me after he
asked me to join the band."
Ken
laughed. "What was the first?"
A
smug grin from the drummer convinced Ken that
he wouldn't get that answer anytime soon --
it was probably some warning against his own
pranks... "So he said that eh? I think I'll
have to have a talk with the fearless leader.
Wait, I'll get that for you." Ken held the studio
door open for the drummer.
"Thanks."
Ken
followed the smaller man and glanced around
the vacant room. "Where are Haido and Tetsu?"
He wondered aloud. Yukihiro placed the bag on
the table and scanned the room as well, surprised
to find the other two absent.
"Maybe
they're in there," he motioned to a small lounge
area situated at the corner of the studio. Inside
there were a couple of couches and a small refrigerator,
but the band rarely had time to use the place.
Ken nodded as they headed towards the room,
Yukihiro in the lead. The drummer reached his
hand out to catch the knob and slowly pushed
the door open. "Tetsu? Haido?"
"Oh
you guys are back." Hyde stood up and walked
over to where the drummer stood. Tetsu followed
him, softly shutting the door behind him.
"Yeah,
we brought you some food." Ken pointed to the
table where they had left the bag just moments
before.
"I'm
starved!" Hyde rushed towards the table, poking
his nose into the bag to inspect its contents.
Tetsu shook his head in disbelief. Wasn't this
the guy who had been crying in his arms just
a moment before? Hyde was _always_ thinking
about food!
Yukihiro
stood staring at the scene taking place in front
of him. It was all so -- normal... He replayed
the past minute's events in his mind wondering
if it had really happened. Had Tetsu and Hyde
really been -- kissing? True, he had only seen
a light brush on the lips, but still... It was
all too weird. I mean, sure, they're really
close, like best friends... combined with
Tetsu and Ken's, well, flirting. He shook his
head and rejoined his bandmates, hoping someone
would explain it to him. Soon.
-----
Tetsu
wrapped his arms around his naked torso. He
couldn't bear to be here anymore. Not with him.
"Tetsu...
I'm... sorry." A steady stream of tears continued
to flow down the bassist's cheeks. "Please...
say something... look at me."
"I..."
a whimper. He met the guitarist's eyes for a
moment before whirling around, lifting himself
from the bed. He grabbed a shirt and his coat
and walked towards the bedroom door.
"Where
are you ..." Ken rose from the bed, determined
to stop the other man from leaving. Where would
he go anyway? He caught the bassist's wrist.
"Just stay here tonight... we can work it out
in the morning..." He wrapped his arms around
Tetsu's small figure. The bassist softened in
the embrace.
Ken
ran a hand through Tetsu's long hair. He wondered
how this could be possibly happening right now,
how normal it seemed after what Ken had just
said. His grief suddenly turned into a flash
of anger. "NO!" He shoved him with a force that
hardly seemed possible coming from the small
bassist.
Ken
reached for Tetsu's hand, his eyes widening.
"Stay
away."
The
guitarist nodded, his own eyes starting to moisten,
but his grip on Tetsu's fingers remained.
"I
need to go... away from here..."
Ken
opened his mouth to say something.
"...
away from YOU..." He snatched his hand back
and left, slamming the door behind him.
-----
"Tet-chan,
are you ready to go? We can walk to the parking
lot together." Ken lowered the lid of his guitar
case and flicked it closed, hefting the load
off the floor.
"Yeah,
I uh... one sec, I'll be right back." He walked
towards the figure that sat alone in the corner,
studying the lyrics he was still working on.
"Haido... you're going to be... okay, right?"
Hyde
turned to face Tetsu, warmed by the bassist's
concern. "Yeah, I'll be fine. Thanks though,
for being there for me." He smiled.
Tetsu
squeezed Hyde's shoulder. "Always," He reached
around the smaller man's back to catch Hyde
in a light embrace. "Call me though, if you
need anything, okay?"
"Sure."
He smiled and watched as Tetsu walked to rejoin
Ken, a light bounce to his step. "Oh and Tet-chan?"
Tetsu
turned.
"Have
fun tonight." Hyde smiled wickedly before turning
back to his song.
Tetsu's
heart caught in his throat. Hyde knew? He relaxed,
and allowed his face to form a gentle smile.
It's not like he could keep it a secret if he'd
tried. So it was a bit embarrassing to discover
that Hyde had seen right through his guard,
but it wasn't anything the vocalist didn't know
already. He grinned broadly at Ken as he reached
his side. The guitarist smiled sweetly. "Let's
go."
They
walked towards their cars, neither saying a
thing until Ken finally broke the silence. "Were
are you parked anyway?"
Tetsu
motioned towards his car. "Over there." He stopped,
seeing Ken's car was in the opposite direction.
"I guess... uh... I'm going to go home now."
"Un."
Ken stared at a small bird pecking at the ground
a few feet from where they stood.
"Ne...
Ken-chan. Do you want to ... come over? You
can follow me in your car, and we can have dinner
and talk. Does that sound good?"
"Can
I spend the night?" Ken winked at the bassist.
Tetsu
playfully rolled his eyes. "You pervert." He
smiled.
Ken
laughed lightly before placing a hesitant hand
on the bassist's face. Tetsu closed his eyes
as Ken slowly ran his thumb over the other man's
lips. He lowered his head, ready to kiss the
bassist when he remembered that they stood in
the middle of a very public parking lot.
He reluctantly removed his hand and moved towards
the direction of his car. "I'll meet you there,
okay?" He dashed towards the car, pausing before
he climbed in, "I have to pick up a change of
clothes." He slammed the door and backed out
of his space, his eyes never leaving the bassist's
form.
Tetsu
laughed, considering Ken's last statement. "Stupid,"
he called after Ken's disappearing car, "I never
said you could stay!"
-----
Hyde
softly shut the door to his apartment behind
him. Dropping his keys on the table, he sank
into the couch, glad the day was finally over.
A dull ache that had started in his left temple
that morning had migrated throughout his skull
sometime in the mid-afternoon and now manifested
itself as a full-blown headache. He lay down,
the couch conforming to the contour of his body.
It had been a long day. Rubbing his head, he
wondered if it was worth it to satisfy the incessant
protests coming from his empty stomach or to
remain on the couch. He rolled on his side.
He would wait until later to deal with his hunger,
his sleep-deprived body hardly had the strength
to make it to the kitchen anyway. His eyes fluttered
shut, pulling the cushion under his head he
quickly fell into a peaceful sleep.
*RING-RING-RING*
His
eyes flew open, batting at the phone that rested
on the side table. Who the hell was calling
anyway? Hyde reminded himself that it was only
8:30, but still, didn't anyone have the decency
to let him rest? "Damn," he cursed, as his sleep-clumsy
arm knocked the phone of the table. Hoping that
he caller still remained on the line he lunged
for the receiver -- he definitely didn't want
to be awakened again.
"Moshi
moshi" His voice cracked.
"Haido?"
The caller seemed unsure that the voice he was
speaking with belonged to the same man who managed
to belt out songs in about 17 octaves.
"Yeah."
Hyde searched his memory to match a face with
the familiar voice on the other line.
"Sugizo
desu."
"Oh,
Sugi!" he perked up, trying to think of the
last time he had heard from Luna Sea's guitarist.
"I
didn't, uh, call at a bad time or anything..."
"Nah,"
he stifled a yawn, "I was just taking a nap."
"A
nap?" Sugizo chuckled. "You do realize that
it's only 8:30."
"Yeah,
but I didn't get much sleep last night."
"Sou
desu..." the response was accompanied with a
laugh from the other line. Sugizo obviously
assumed he had been with some girl. Hyde didn't
feel like informing him otherwise. "Actually,
I was wondering... do you have any plans tonight."
Other
than sleeping, no. "Not really, why?"
"Well,
I was thinking about inviting my favorite singer
over for a drink... how about it?"
Hyde,
now thoroughly awake pondered the suggestion.
True, the pain gnawing away at his head was
pretty bad, but he hadn't seen Sugizo in a long
time. Oh what the hell. "Sure. I'll be
there in 20 --" his stomach rumbled again, "30
minutes."
"Kay,
see you then."
"Wait,
Sugi?"
"Yeah?"
"You
guys still live at the same place, right?" Had
it been _that_ long?
"Of
course Hyde. If I'd have moved, I would have
made you buy me a housewarming present."
Hyde
laughed. "Of course. I'll be there soon."
"Ja."
Hyde
replaced the phone on the cradle, somehow feeling
much better. He started towards the bathroom,
hoping to find his medicine cabinet sufficiently
stocked with some sort of pain reliever. Upon
reaching the mirror, he stopped, recalling something
Sugi had said.
His
favorite singer?
-----
"Tetsu,
this is delicious!" Ken was beyond stuffed,
but kept on filling his mouth with more of the
bassist's meal.
"Thanks."
He stared in amazement as Ken finished his _third_
helping. Standing up, he began to clear the
table when he felt a hand grip his wrist.
"Can't
that wait until morning?" Ken smiled innocently.
"No.
But if you help me, I'll be done faster." Tetsu
took Ken's plate before the guitarist could
pile _more_ food on it. He walked into the kitchen,
with Ken on his heels. Placing the dishes in
the sink, he noticed the other man had picked
up a dishtowel and looked ready to do his job.
"I
don't think so Ken-chan, _I_ cooked, you can
wash the dishes." He removed the towel from
the other man's hand and watched as Ken filled
the water in the sink and set to doing his job.
"You
said I was going to help, ne?" the reluctant
guitarist grumbled.
"You're
going to help by doing the dishes for me. Besides
you don't know where everything goes." Tetsu
flashed Ken an angelic smile. Rolling his eyes,
Ken turned back towards the sink and scrubbed
away at the sink's contents -- two plates, two
glasses, two pairs of chopsticks -- the realization
making the job seem less trying. Tetsu watched
him with a pleased smile on his face, occasionally
dodging in and out to grab a washed dish and
dry it, returning it to its proper place.
"Hey
Tetsu." Ken had finished the last pot and was
draining the water.
"Hm?"
Tetsu turned around from the cupboard... and
was met by a stream of freezing cold water.
"WA~~~
KEN!!!!" The guitarist laughed hysterically,
grabbing at his stomach to keep from collapsing
on the floor. Opening his eyes, he took one
look at the drenched bassist's frown ... and
ran for his life.
"Come
back here you jerk! This is a _designer_ shirt
you know!!" He ran after the offender. Ken circled
the couch twice before taking a turn towards
the bedroom -- and was stopped by a dead end.
"Damn," he exclaimed realizing he was trapped.
He glanced at the quickly approaching bassist
and decided to surrender.
Tetsu
dove towards the guitarist, not aware of his
decision. "Got you!" He announced happily, his
arms pinning Ken in place.
"Oh
yeah? What are you going to do with me now?"
He looked down at the man who held him.
Tetsu's
resolve to exert severe physical pain -- or
at least thoroughly drench the guitarist as
well -- was quickly dissipating. "I'm going
to," he thought out the question, "...kiss you."
He reached up and pulled Ken's face closer to
his, his lips passionately claiming Ken's. Pulled
closer by Tetsu's other arm, Ken was pressed
against the soaking shirt the bassist wore.
Maybe the water hadn't been the best idea...
Tetsu
slipped a hand into Ken's hair, taking a section
in his hands ... and pulled viciously.
"OWW~~!
TETSU!!" He rubbed at the back of his head.
"There,
now we're even." The bassist smiled and pressed
his lips against Ken's again. The pain in the
back of Ken's head was quickly forgotten as
he pulled the wet bassist forward. He vindictively
thought of returning Tetsu a favor but decided
against it... this was too good. Besides, he
could think of something better for revenge
before the night was through.
The
wetness began to soak though Ken's own clothes.
"Ne, Tet-chan... don't you think you should..."
He was silenced by another kiss. "...take that
off?" He smiled mischievously.
"I
get it, this was just part of an elaborate plan
to get me naked." Tetsu smiled back. "Well what
if it doesn't work?"
"We'll
just have to find some other way to do that
then." Ken reached under the shirt to caress
the smooth skin of the bassist's back.
Tetsu
slipped his hands down and finally pulled off
the soaking shirt, discarding it on the floor.
"You happy now?"
"Not
yet." Ken kissed the bassist again, this time
slowly working his tongue in his mouth. Tetsu
parted his lips further, allowing Ken to kiss
him deeper. He reached up and circled Ken's
neck with his arms. Ken lightly guided Tetsu
in the direction of the bedroom, their lips
remaining unparted.
Unexpectedly,
Tetsu jumped into the guitarist's arms, wrapping
his legs around his waist. Ken grabbed his bottom
and pulled him closer, their bodies meeting
at a very notable region. Walking into the bedroom,
he stopped and stood in front of the bed, giving
the other man a chance to reach his feet to
the floor. Ken realized with a laugh that without
his platforms, Tetsu lost a good 10 centimeters.
"What's
so funny?"
"I
forgot how little you were." He continued laughing
while lightly stroking Tetsu's cheek. "Kawaii."
He breathed into Tetsu's ear.
An
offended look formed on the bassist's face.
"I'm not _that_ short."
Ken
laughed harder, his chest heaving against Tetsu's
own while he tried to force his lips to concentrate
on kissing the bassist's neck.
Tetsu
scowled. But he knew how to silence Ken's laughter...
His hand reached down to rest on the guitarist's
arousal.
Ken
gasped, the touch catching him off guard. Arching
his hips forward, he looked into Tetsu's grinning
face, kissing him once again. Tetsu slowly leaned
back, and caught the edge of the bed. He started
to lie down, the whole time his hand remaining
on the front of Ken's pants. The guitarist landed
lightly on top of him, positioning himself so
that he could begin lightly sucking on Tetsu's
neck. Tetsu reached up and began slowly unbuttoning
Ken's pants...
*RING-RING
RING-RING*
Ken
froze, the noise startling him. In his hormone-induced
state it took him a few seconds to realize exactly
was causing the disturbance. The exact few seconds
that Tetsu had taken to slip himself out from
under the guitarist and reach for the phone.
"Don't
answer it," Ken breathed.
"I
have to. It might be important."
More
important than me?
He
picked the phone off the cradle and switched
it on... "Mo-moshi moshi."
"Tetsu?"
"Y-yeah,"
Tetsu tried to regain his breath.
"It's
Yuki. Did I uh... call at a bad time?"
"Uh...
" Stop! He mouthed at Ken, who began to trace
small patterns along a particularly... sensitive
area on Tetsu's lower regions. "No, not at all."
He finally answered the drummer's question.
"You
see... I was just wondering --"
"Ah,
stopit!!" The guitarist's assaults hadn't ceased.
"Oh sorry, I didn't mean you..."
"Uh,
it's not that important... if you're doing something
I can call back later..."
"No,
it's okay... you were saying?"
"Who
is it?" an impatient -- and incredibly familiar
-- voice sounded from the background on Tetsu's
line.
"Is
that ... Ken-chan?"
"Yeah
Yukki," he glared at Ken, answering his question,
"he, uh... came over to... work on a song..."
Another
song? "Oh. Well, I didn't mean to interrupt
you two... I mean, with your song. I'll call
back in the morning... ja!"
*click*
Tetsu
replaced the phone. "That was too close." Ken
nodded in agreement. "You know we're going to
have to tell him."
"Don't
you mean _them_?"
Tetsu
blinked. "Hyde already knows. I think." Ken
nodded again, this time his eyes resting on
Tetsu's chest, hungrily staring at the bassist.
"It's
been a long time, ne Tet-chan?"
Tetsu
nodded. Too long.
"Now
where were we?"
-----
Hyde
finished the last drop in his fifth can of beer,
discarding the container on the table with the
other ten that littered the floor. The alcohol
felt good in his system, a warm, woozy feeling
taking over his body. He knew he'd regret it
in the morning, but he reached for another can.
Sugizo
paused mid-gulp to watch the vocalist; Hyde
had matched him drink-for-drink all night. "Another
one?"
Hyde
sipped at the liquid that had fallen into the
crevice of the can upon opening it and nodded,
producing a small giggle.
"Well,
I can't let you get ahead of me." He gulped
the rest of his own can's contents and flashed
a wicked smile at the vocalist sitting next
to him. Reaching for a new can, he found his
hand close and return empty. "Crap, we're out."
Well, it was probably for the better. He quickly
dismissed the thought of going out to the store
for another 12-pack, neither he nor Hyde was
in a state to drive.
"Ne,
Sugi?" Hyde sipped cautiously at what would
apparently be his last drink of the night.
"Yeah?"
The guitarist called from the kitchen where
he had begun to search the refrigerator for
a non-alcoholic drink. Ryuichi _never_ drank,
so it wasn't as difficult as he thought.
"I
was just wondering..." he watched Sugizo reappear
from the kitchen with a coke and a package of
cigarettes, the guitarist offering Hyde one
of the latter. He shook his head and continued,
"where's Ryu?"
Sugizo
took a long drag from the freshly lit cigarette
and exhaled slowly. "I... I don't know." A pained
look crossed the guitarist's face.
"I'm...
I'm sorry."
"Don't
be. It's not your fault." He smiled weakly.
"Just sometimes... I wonder if..." he stared
into the distance, ultimately fixing his eyes
on a corner of the room, "never mind, I know
you don't want to hear about my problems."
"I'm
here to listen, if you want to talk." He set
down the half-empty can and turned to look directly
at Sugizo.
The
other man hadn't dropped his gaze, but Hyde
noticed his shoulders droop slightly. "I, I
just wonder if we are really... good for each
other. I mean, I can think of 4 practices in
the last 3 weeks that were ruined because of
some stupid argument he started,"
_He_
started? Hyde kept his thoughts to himself.
"...
and well, sometimes I'm not sure if he cares
about me... as much as care for him. And then
he leaves -- like tonight. I don't know if he'll
be home tomorrow, or the next day, or a week
from now. It's, it's not fair... and the worst
part is..." he finally turned to face the other
man, "I know I can't live without him." He brushed
away a tear, something Hyde never thought he'd
see the guitarist do.
"Sugi
... I'm..."
"No
Hyde, I'm sorry." He took a sip of his soda.
An
almost painful silence fell over the two.
"Sa-Sakura,
used to... just like Ryu." He looked away, unsure
why he had brought the drummer into this. Sugi
nodded, bringing the cigarette to his lips again,
and ran his hand through his straggly locks.
"You're
so pink!" It was out of his mouth before he
had finished formulating the thought, and he
felt rather stupid for saying it, but suddenly
the guitarist's magenta hair seemed such a contrast
against his somber face.
"Wha?"
Sugizo was caught off-guard by Hyde's comment.
"Your
hair, it's so pink." Hyde grinned, glad to have
changed the subject.
Sugizo
cast a sidelong glance in the vocalist's direction.
"Better than _white_." He retorted defensively,
alluding to one of the vocalist's own past dye
jobs.
"Hey!
What was wrong with that? I _liked_ it that
color."
Sugizo
flashed a weak smile. "I just glad someone convinced
you to dye it back."
Hyde
pouted.
Sugizo
sighed, realizing he'd have to feed the vocalist's
falling ego. "It's just that you look so much
cuter with dark hair."
"Hontou?"
"Yeah,"
he crept forward, reaching a hand towards Hyde's
soft tresses.
Hyde
smiled at the guitarist's touch -- soft and
hesitant, yet confident at the same time. He
inched closer. "Sugi..." His questioning was
silenced as Sugizo's lips pressed firmly against
his own.
---------------
Part 2 ---------------
