Master Plan
Materials: Jetpack, Trench Coat, BBQ sause,
Index:
*Gaining admission to the Zoo. *Hideing
in bathroom stall. *Covering Body with
BBQ sause. *Prepareing Jet pack. *Leaveing
Bathroom. *Preparing for the chickens.
*Time for Blast-off. *Flight.
*Landing.
This is the page of the master plan. Below you will see a diagram of the Lions' enclosur.
Step #1: Getting into the ZOO.
Getting into the Zoo is the easy part. The only trouble you can have is
the freak chance that there is a metal detector or a stripe search at the
gate. This is extreamly rare at public Zoos. To avoid questions, pay the
enery fee, look at the ground and don't say anything.
Goto Top
Step #2: Hideing in the bathroom.
As soon as you find the Lions' enclosure, scurry into the bathroom and
lock your self into a stall. Every now and then you may want to make little
toilet noises to make everybody on the outside world think that everything
is a-o-k.
Goto Top
Step #3: Covering your self with BBQ sause.
Now come the fun part. Remove your cloths (underwear is optional) and rub
BBQ sause over as much of your body as possible.
Goto Top
Step #4: Prepareing the Jet Pack
Turn the key of the jet pack to the ready selection. Turn the valves of
the liquid oxygen and nitrogen tanks two five full turns. Put jet pack
onto your back with your legs through the leg harnesses and the chest strap
over your chest like a seat belt.
Goto Top
Step #5: Leaving the bathroom.
Although it is not nessisary, the trench coat would be highly recomended
at this point. You will likely have few garments on and the jet pack may
alarm some people. The modified back-pack may not be nessisary at this
point. Place the control arms in their down position and close the trench
coat over the pack. Either discard your cloths in the garbage or leave
them for the lost and found people. You may wish to take one last look
in the mirror.
Take the BBQ bottle out the bathroom with you and deposit it in a recycleing
bin.
Goto Top
Step #6: Waiting for the chickens.
Standing outside the enclosure, you must wait for the Lions to be hngery.
In order to gain public interest the Zoo keepers alow the lions to become
very hungery before they feed them.This makes the lions very visious when
the chickens are released into the lions' enclosure. The sound of the chickens
being hurded into the chicken pen is like a dinner bell for the big cats.
They drool and pace and spar out side the door to the chicken pen. Listen
for the sounds of clucking and squaking. If you can't hear these noices,
the lions will; watch them. Some Zoos will post the feeding times.
Goto Top
Step #7: Time for blast off.
Stand about 30 feet from the outer fence and watch-out for kids throwing
rocks into the mine-feild. When you are ready lift the control arms on
the jet pack and push the start button. When the pack begins to hum, throw
off your trench coat and scream your death chant if you have one. Aim your
self directly at the middle of the Lions' enclosure.
Goto Top
Step#8: Flight
Controling the Jet pack
First you should fly directly up and then at thirty feet begin to pitch
forward. Once you have cleared the middle fence you should disengage begin
your desent(carefull not to hit the inner fence). By time you have cleared
the inner fence you may wish to kill the engin so that you do not scare
the kitties. If you land unharmed, show fear (lions can smell fear).
Practis, Practis, Practis.
Goto Top
Step#9: Landing
Landing may be rough. You may break some bones or even die before you are
eaten. Try not to land too hard if you're going to hit a cat.