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I love my master; Thus I perfume myself with This long-rotten squirrel. |
I lie belly-up In the sunshine, happier than You ever will be. |
Today I sniffed Many dog butts--I celebrate By kissing your face. |
| I sound the alarm! Paperboy--come to kill us all-- Look! Look! Look! Look! Look! |
I sound the alarm! Garbage man--come to kill us all-- Look! Look! Look! Look! Look! |
I lift my leg and Whiz on each bush . Hello, Spot- Sniff this and weep. | |
| How do I love thee? The ways are numberless as My hairs on the rug. |
My human is home! I am so ecstatic I have Made a puddle. |
I Hate my choke chain. Look, world, they strangle me! Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack! |
Sleeping here, my chin On your foot--no greater bliss--well, Maybe catching rats. |
| Look in my eyes and Deny it. No human could Love you as much I do. |
The cat is not all Bad--she fills the litter box With Tootsie Rolls. |
Dig under fence--why? Because it's there. Because it's There. Because it's there. |
I am your best friend, Now, always, and especially When you are eating. |
| You may call them fleas, But they are far more--I call Them a vocation. |
My owners' mood is Romantic--I lie near their Feet. I fart a big one. |
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| Here Kitty Kitty
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