Calling frantically for help Jerry fumbled for a pulse again, and again he found nothing. Leaning down he thought he felt Jax's heart beating but he wasn't sure. The whole event was happening with a surrealistic, dreamlike feel.
"Jax please."
Three coast guard paramedics rushed over to where they were and took over. Jerry stood in stunned silence while they worked on his brother's lifeless form. He almost didn't register it when one of them gave him the thumbs up sign. They had found a pulse.
Jerry dropped to his knees and offered up a silent prayer of thanks. His only hope now was that Brenda would be found along the shore too, alive and well, because if she wasn't he didn't know that Jax would ever be okay again. He made his way back over to the paramedic to grill him.
"Is he alright? Will he recover? Does he have any injuries?"
"He'll be fine. His pulse was weak, but I suspect he was going into hypothermia when you got here. We've got some heat packs on him so his body temperature will come back up. No bones broken that we could determine. He's incredibly lucky."
Jerry's eyes darkened at the man and he gestured towards the ocean.
"I'm afraid getting tossed on the rocks is the best lady luck will afford us tonight."
Jax felt the air pour into his lungs and struggled against it. No, he didn't want to live, he had let Brenda down. Although his body still ached and he felt feverish, Jax jerked away from the paramedics and ripped the oxygen mask from his face. He mumbled for them to leave him alone. After some vigorous protestation they finally backed off. The nausea was still faintly there and he swore at the heat packs strapped to his body. Were they trying to kill him? He was already on fire and they strap heat to him? He managed to get his sluggish fingers to untie the packs and fling them away. He rolled carefully onto his side and looked out to the sea. The search and rescue was looking frantically for the woman he loved, the woman he had let drown. Her screams echoed in his head and he shut his eyes to block it all out. When it didn't happen he got up on his hands and knees.
Jerry was there. Jax could hear him talking to the chief of the rescue operation. He filed the information to the back of his mind and started to crawl towards the water again. He was dimly aware of people screaming at him but he didn't care. He had let Brenda down, broken every promise he had ever made to her. The spray of the ocean hit his face as another wave tore at the rocks. In a daze he started to move forward, crawling towards the water in the hopes of joining her again.
"So what are you doing next?"
Jerry was talking to the paramedics when he heard frantic shouts to his right. He turned to check on Jax. His brother was gone. He quickly followed the men's stares out to the ocean where a man was flailing uselessly against the tide.
"Bloody hell!"
Jerry raced for the edge of the shore. What was wrong with the guy? Did he think getting himself killed would help anything? What if Brenda were found alive? A thought slammed through him like a bullet and froze his blood. Was he trying to find her, or join her? He remembered the time after Miranda had supposedly died. Jax had admitted to wanting to let go several times during a rough mountain climb they had taken. Jax's love for Brenda was much greater than anything he had experienced with Miranda. What would this do to him?
He wasn't about to find out.
Jerry was beginng to feel like a triathlete. First the climb down the cliff, now this. The waves were throwing him around like a piece of cork. He won't survive this, he thought, he can't. Well maybe you want this little brother, but I'm sure as hell not going to let you do it around me! His body was screaming against the frigid water. He lost sight of Jax for a moment. His eyes strained to see over the waves. Where was he? Panic brought a much needed surge of adrenaline to his exhausted muscles.
"Jax!"
Then he saw it: Jax was moving slowly in the water. Jerry saw it as the chance he needed to catch up to his brother. Just as he was attempting to put on some steam he saw Jax's head and body go limp and start to sink below the surface. Having his worst fears confirmed gave Jerry the strength to double his speed. The sight of Jax drifting just below the surface made him physically ill, but he had no time for that kind of weakness. He had to get his brother to the shore. The turbulence in the water was unbelievable. Every couple of minutes it would rip Jax from his grasp, and Jerry was tiring quickly. He knew he had to get his brother back immediately, but he also knew he had to rest a minute to get them both back alive. He rolled over on his back to try to float, but Jax's dead weight made it extremely difficult. He realized that he'd made a critical error in judgement when felt his muscles begin to painfully cramp and knot. It was impossible to stretch and hold onto Jax at the same time, and the cold water was really getting to him. He was actually wondering what breathing water would feel like when the spotlight from a chopper found him along with a lift cable. As the chopper lowered closer to the water, Jerry covered Jax's face and his own.
"Hold on baby brother, hold on. Almost there. Hold on Jax."
A diver dropped into the water after Jerry signaled that he was to weak to harness Jax on his own. It seemed to take forever for the diver to get them both up. Weak as he was, Jerry watched intently as Jax's limp lifeless body lifted into the air. He seemed so young and childlike in this state. Relief and dread competed for his heart. Finally the cable came back for him and soon he was back atop the cliff. Paramedics rushed to him, but he shook them off. He half crawled, half limped to Jax's side and dropped to the ground next to him.
"What's wrong with him? Why isn't he waking up?"
The paramedic frowned and shook his head.
"It seems to be shock and hypothermia, sir. Going back in the water was a dumb move. We've got to get him to wake up to make sure there's nothing more serious wrong."
Jerry watched as they piled the heat packs back on and waved smelling salts under Jax's nose. When he didn't respond, they rattled some medical jargon back and forth before turning to Jerry.
"We really need to get some better equipment from the truck, you'll be ok to stay with him for a couple minutes?"
"Of course, do what you need to, just take care of him."
Jerry turned his attention to Jax. He patted Jax's face and called his name. He had to wake up. He tried again by shaking Jax and calling him more loudly.
Nothing.
Enough, he thought. Enough of this shit. Jerry was terrified and he didn't like it at all. He yanked Jax up by the collar of his shirt and shook him hard.
"Jasper Jacks, you come back here RIGHT NOW! Do you hear me?! You open those eyes and tell me where to stuff it! I'm ordering you, Jax! Now do it damn you!"
Jax's body heaved suddenly and water spurted from his mouth. He coughed hard and barely opened his eyes. Moaning, he rolled and began to shake uncontrollably. Jerry laughed and cried all at once. Somehow he had known it would work. Jax had never ever liked being ordered around by Jerry, not even when he knew it was the right thing to do. For the first time in his life, Jax had actually listened and Jerry was honestly looking forward to the tongue lashing to come.
