Jax lay there on the couch in the living room, listening to the radio play softly in the background. Every song brought something with it, be it a fleeting moment or sensation of his time with Brenda. Each memory had it's own cross to bear. It was either painfully happy or painfully sad. Most were bittersweet with the poignancy of hindsight. If only was a phrase he'd become intimate with over the past few weeks. If only he'd sent Veronica away. If only he'd whisked Brenda off early to Malibu or anywhere away from Port Charles. If only he'd married her sooner…
If only…
The disc jockey's voice flowed softly into the room. His voice uncharacteristically sad.
"Well, I just received some very bad news folks. I've just learned that Tim Kelly, the guitarist for the group Slaughter was killed two nights ago in a car accident. The details are unknown at this time, but I'll try to keep you all posted. This is truly a sad day for rock music. I'm going to play this song in honor of my buddy Tim. This is "Fly To The Angels."
The warm, airy strains of an acoustic guitar seeped into his brain from the radio, and for the second time in too few days, Jax was in shock. Tim Kelly had been a good friend of Brenda's and Jax had thought very highly of him. He couldn't believe he'd lost another person close to him. He thought back to the first time Brenda had introduced them.
Pictures of you
They're still on my mind
You had a smile that could light up the world
Brenda led him by the hand through the crowded walkways leading to the backstage patio at the Riverport Ampitheater in St. Louis, Missouri. Brenda had met Tim earlier in the month back in New York, and he'd been kind enough to put her and Jax on the guest list. Jax had flown out to meet her here while she was on a photo shoot, and she was taking this opportunity to network with some industry insiders via Tim. She had spoken to him about L&B before, and he'd offered to hook up with her at this gig and introduce her to some important people he knew would be here.
They reached the patio doors and Brenda showed her laminate. The guard nodded them inside, and they began looking for Tim. Fans surrounded him, as usual. Jax was immediately impressed by the ease with which he interacted with them all. He made sure to give each person that he talked to his full attention. He laughed and joked with them and was obviously very happy to be there.
He looked up and spotted Brenda instantly.
"Heeeeyyyyy! Be right there, ok?" He finished signing a few more autographs, took some more pictures, then headed their direction.
Tim walked over to Brenda and gave her a gigantic hug. His laid-back mannerisms did nothing to make Jax uncomfortable or feel jealous. It was plain to see that this man simply had a warm and open disposition to anyone around him.
"It's good to see you again! I'm so glad you could fit this into that busy schedule of yours!"
"Oh Tim, it was good of YOU to invite us! Tim, I want you to meet my husband Jax."
Tim shook Jax's hand firmly and just as warmly.
"Good to meet ya, Jax! It's great you could make it too. Brenda told me a lot about you, all good of course! Thank you so much for letting us use your plane for the video, Jax. I was perfect! I can't believe you actually let us use it!"
"Thanks, and likewise. She's told me a lot about you as well, and I thought it was a great concept for the song. I really enjoy your music, so I was more than happy to loan it out to you. The photography for the video was beautifully done."
"Thanks, man! We really appreciated it. Hey, are you guys ok? Would you like anything to drink?"
He had gone off to get them two sodas, and then introduced them to the rest of the band and to other people as well. The show had gone extremely well, and afterward Tim had invited Brenda and Jax to come see them any time at all when they were in the same area.
Jax got up from the couch and walked to the window. The anguish of the song was doubly powerful now.
Now it rains
It seems the sun never shines
You know it hurts me
Way deep inside
When I turn to look
And find that you're not there
I try to convince myself
But the pain, the pain
It's still not gone
Jax spun quickly, grabbing his keys off the table, and headed out the door. He needed to get out of the penthouse, and decided to go for a drive. It didn't matter to where, just anywhere but the penthouse for now. He needed some air.
And I'll drive down
This lonely, lonely road
I got this feeling
Now I gotta let you go
He started the car and started driving toward city limits. The number of cars passing by trickled down to just a few intermittently. He relaxed slightly and pulled off the road to watch the tide come in. It was misting rain, and a thin fog was clinging to the water. He thought back to the last time he and Brenda had seen Tim.
This time it was Universal Ampitheater in Hollywood, California. Jax had brought Brenda here after she had proposed to him again in Malibu. He'd thought coming to Universal Studios would be a great way to celebrate. She had wanted to come watch the Soap Opera Digest Awards show, but not even Jax's pull could get them tickets this year. She'd been disappointed, but that night Tim had left her a voicemail saying that they were playing a surprise show with Alice Cooper, and if they were in the area they were welcome to come. This had put Brenda in a much better mood and made up for missing the extravagant awards show. Jax had to admit that hanging out with Tim was far more appealing than a stuffy suit and tie affair.
When they arrived, Tim wasn't there yet, so they made themselves comfortable at a table in the backstage area. Another couple walked in and sat at the table near them. Jax overhead the man talking to the woman, then stand up to leave.
"I'm going to go look for Blas. Do you want to go with me or stay here?"
"No, honey. I'll stay here."
Jax wondered who she was. She had a VIP laminate, but he hadn't seen her before. Brenda leaned over to ask her a question.
"Hi, I'm Brenda Barrett. Do you know if Tim Kelly is here yet?"
"Hi, I'm Tamii. You know, I don't really know. Todd went to look for Blas, but we just got here ourselves…"
She was cut short by a loud familiar yell.
"Hey, I'd know those curls ANYWHERE!" Tim came up behind her and grabbed her shoulders in a backward hug, kissing the top of her head.
"How ya doin' Mrs. Todd? Good to see ya!"
Tamii stood up to greet him with a proper hug.
"Good Tim! How you doing? You look good!"
"Where's Todwig?"
"Oh, he went to find Blas. Oh! Hey there Blas! Todd just went to look for you!" Blas was the drummer for Slaughter and was somewhat shy and quiet, until you got to know him.
"Oh, well I'll just wait for him here then. Hey Tim, did you see Brenda over here?"
"No! Brenda!! Hey sweetie, how you doin'?" He ran around the table to hug her. Her laughter at his greeting was musical.
"I'm fine Tim! It's good to see you! I'm so glad you called to tell us about the gig here."
Tim looked past her to Jax and grinned broadly.
"Heeeyy Jax! How's it goin man? I here you two are getting married again! I'm so happy for you." He shook Jax's hand vigorously.
"Thanks, Tim. I'm really happy about it too!" Tim winked conspiratorially at Jax.
"Did you meet my friend Tamii?"
When all three of them nodded, he continued.
"You know, I think this band has a good effect on people. I knew Tamii from back in Illinois, and Blas ended up introducing her to her husband Todd. Love is just in the air or something!"
Tamii laughed and nudged him in the shoulder.
"Tim, I think you knew we were in love before we knew it ourselves! Remember, at the Galaxy?"
Tim roared tumultuously and turned to Brenda and Jax.
"She came in with Todd to the Las Vegas show, then to the Searchin' vidoe shoot, and then to the Galaxy. I asked her if they were an item or what, and she turned beet red! Her face was hilarious, like the idea never occurred to her! I knew though! You could just tell something was up with those two, and now look at her! She's Mrs. Todd now!" He leaned into Jax and commented under his breath, "I knew you two were gonna get back together too, ya know!"
He glanced back to Brenda and Tamii and pulled out his wallet.
"Hey, did I show you the latest pictures of my kids?" Tim's grin was infectious. Tamii smiled knowingly and pulled her wallet out of her purse.
"Show me yours and I'll show you mine!"
Brenda and Jax looked perplexed.
"Tim, I didn't know you and Sarah had children!" Jax elbowed him playfully in the arm. "You been holding out on Brenda and I?"
Tim smiled mischieviously at her.
"Of course I do! Wanna see?" He held out his wallet to her and Jax. The pictures were of a golden retriever and a chocolate labrador. His look of unadultered pride said it all.
"The retriever is Mac, and the lab is Buster. Aren't they just cute as hell?"
"Oh, Tim they are adorable! How sweet that you have pictures of them in your wallet!" Brenda cooed over the photos in her hand. "You had us going for a minute there."
Tim laughed and took Tamii's pictures from her.
"They're my babies, my children! God, you got another one?? Who is this one? Wait, tell me which is which again?" He turned slightly to include Brenda and Jax. Tamii pointed out the different pictures to the three of them.
"The grey one is Eric, who's a Russian Blue. The black and white is Gwen. The new one, the cream-colored one is Jasper…"
Jax traced a water droplet down his car window and smiled to himself. It had been such a fun night.
Tim looked up at Jax suddenly then to Tamii.
"You named him Jasper?" He stifled a giggle.
"What's wrong with Jasper Tim?"
"Yeah, Tim, what's wrong with Jasper?" Jax narrowed his eyes at Tim in mock anger, and Tamii looked at Brenda in confusion.
"Am I missing something here?"
"Jax's real name is Jasper!" With that, both Brenda and Tim broke down into fits of giggles. Jax, still trying to looked annoyed, fought to contain his own laughter. Tamii was falling prey to the merriment as well, but tried valiantly to hold up for her new aquaintance.
"Now, come on! Jasper is a cool name! I mean, look at him! Doesn't he LOOK like a Jasper? Look at that fluffy face!" This last comment only served to nearly double Tim and Brenda over in roaring guffaws. Jax's defenses were crumbling as well. Tamii looked at him apologetically, but she too was quickly dissolving into tittering sniggers.
"I'm really sorry…Tim's just a brat…" She pushed him in jest. Jax finally began chuckling along.
"For what? Naming your cat a dashing name? It's alright…Brenda's a brat too. I think that's why they are such good friends."
Brenda wiped at her eyes and straightened.
"Tamii, you should know that everything I know about being a brat, I learned from Jax…"
Jax's heart went out to Tim's bandmates and family. He knew what terrible pain they must be in right now, and shared in their sorrow. He formed a mental picture of Brenda greeting Tim somewhere; where ever they were right now.
'Cause now you've got to fly
Fly to the angels
Heaven awaits your heart
And flowers bloom in your name
His eyes filled with tears again. The thought was crushing yet comforting. If ever there were someone to look after Brenda up there, he was glad it would be Tim, and if ever there were someone to welcome his friend into heaven, Jax was glad it could be someone beautiful like his Brenda.
You've got to fly
Fly to the angels
All the stars in the sky
Shine in your name
****************************************
For you, Tim.
~Tamii
"Fly To The Angels" by Slaughter, from the album Stick It To Ya
