Birthdays


I have healthy pregnancies so I can’t fathom how crazy
I would be if I had to take it week by week.
But this is how we counted. Each week was a celebration.
By the time she was in her 5th month, the doctor decided because of her history
of going into early labor at that time, to do a cerclouge. (no idea how you spell that)
That is a stitch in the curvex to keep it closed. You go home the same day.
After the procedure, the doctor came to me and said, “ It was a good thing we did this.
Her cervex was starting to thin out. We caught it just in time.” (whew! And more bed rest!)

We were told if we could just make it till after Thanksgiving,
we would be safe because of the gestation age.
Both babies could live in NICU after 26 weeks.
Well, we had a great and thankful Thanksgiving Day.
Near the end of the night, she was cramping up badly.
She had taken all of her pills but told me that was a sign she needed to raise her Lupis medication.
She had an appointment with that doctor the next week but decided to call the next day.
We drove into the O.B. doctors for a usual stress test to check out the two heartbeats.
The doctor took a look and frowned. He had us go to the ultrasound room to take a look.
After what seemed a very long time, he told us the sad news.
“I can’t find the other heartbeat. I don’t see the second one beating on the monitor either.
The baby had died.”

Peaches went into a fearful crying.
The doctor continued, ”but the other one seems fine.
We have got to get you over to the Hospital and get you hooked up to see what is going on.”
All the way over to there, her tears flowed.
She was hooked up to the machines and the specialist came over.
He did another sonagram and I saw how there was only darkness where the baby’s heart was.
I felt very heavy.
He told us she would stay in the hospital as long as they could keep her
to try to get more gestation on the other baby.
She surviving baby would be monitored all the time.
They thought it was her Lupis that had attacked the first baby
and they would be keeping an eye on that also.
I could only hold her as she bled out her heart.

The next day was her birthday.
She was on a strict diet so I took her a strawberry jello and put a candle in it.
My husband and I sang the birthday song and she made her secret wish.
( I am sure you can guess what it was)
We gave her a few presents and wished her dreams to come true.
Then labor set in. Her body was rejecting the baby that had died.
They tried to stop it with medications.
They gave her nothing for the pain just in case they had to do a c-section.
I told her to squeeze my hand when it got bad.
She copied my breathing and squeezed hard.
Things seemed to be settling by midnight so I went home for a little sleep.
I told her I would be back in the morning to talk to the doctor about all this.
She can’t put up with that much pain with no meds for too much longer.
I got the call at 5:00 am from her, “ Please come in. The pain is sooo bad!”
I ran out of bed and got to the Hospital in 15 minutes.
Holding her hand and breathing I listened to the doctor explain
how her body was rejecting the dead baby.
“Cut to the Chase Doc.” I said.
I was hoping for his next words. “We need to do a c-section.”
“Let’s do it!” I replied.
Peaches nodded urgently.

They took her to the operating room and told me to suit up and they would come get me.
After awhile I knew they had forgotten me.
I looked down the hall and a nurse walked towards me.
“I’m so sorry,”she said,” They got in there and were about to get you
when the doctor saw the baby that had died trying to break through the cerclouge.
He had to quickly do the c-section. the babies are out and the other one is doing great!”
I ran down to the room and saw a cute wildly moving baby being cleaned by nurses.
(awwwwww) Peaches had asked for her tubes to be tied so they were doing that procedure.
I held her hand and talked to her till she fell asleep.
Later I took a peek at the new baby. She was very cute and such a miracle!
Before I had asked Peaches what she was going to name them.
“Maya (sounds like My-ya) for the one that passed
and Myriah (sounds like Mariah) for the one that is still living.”
“Hello Myriah,”I whispered,”You have a great task before you.
You need to fight and live. Cause if anything happens to you, your mommy will be in a rubber room.”

In the early afternoon it came time to hold Maya.
She was tiny and had started to deform inside her. Such an angel.
Peaches held her close and burried her face in the blanket.
“I’m sorry.” Is all she kept whispering.
You can be told it isn’t your fault over ad over but it takes time to believe.

Afterwards I took her to see Myriah.
She was in an icolette and hooked up too all kinds of things.
The good thing was that she was breathing on her own for now.
That is a great start, they said. She was a tiny 2lb 14 oz.

Now ahead was the future of Myriah.
She was only a 28 weeks gestation. How would she do outside of her mother?
Instead of taking it week by week, we had to take it day by day.
It is a very hard thing on your sanity to do.


Part 4-Christmas

If you would like to see the pictures below
click on the picture



Click on the candle to light one in your loved one's name

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