ZAIL SINGH LEARNS PSYCHOLOGY

Once Rajiv Gandhi was reading a book and Zail Singh happened to visit him...

Zail Singh: What is that book about?

Rajiv Gandhi: Forget it.it's beyond you.

ZS: No please tell me...

RG: OK, it's about human psychology

ZS: What's that?

RG: See I told you to forget it!!

ZS: No please explain it to me.....

RG: OK it's like this ....Do you have a fishtank at home?

ZS: Yes

RG: Who feeds the fish in it?

ZS: My son

RG: Now I know that you're married!

ZS: Wow great yaar!!

ZS very impressed goes to Buta Singh

ZS: Today I learned something about human psychology!! Buta Singh: Wow what is that!!

ZS: Forget it, it's beyond you!

BS: No please expain to me....

ZS: OK....Do you have a fish tank?

BS: No..

ZS: Then you're a homo!!!

Sardarji Takes Art Class

One Day, A sardarji went to take an art class. His art teacher gave the assignment that he must paint something. The sardarji did not know what to paint, so the teacher told him to paint that which he felt was the most beautiful thing in the world. The sardarji thought, Nothing can be more beautiful than my village, so I shall paint that. The sardarji spent all his time working on the painting the next day. He did not eat, sleep, or take a bath. Finally, he took the painting to his art teacher. His art teacher was amazed at the detail of the picture, but he said, "No, no, there is something missing. Go back to your village and see what you have missed." The sardarji went back to his village and revised his painting. The next day in class, he returned with the painting. He presented a black canvas to his instructor. His instructor said, "What! You fool! I said revise not destroy!" The sardarji said, "Well you told me to paint what I was missing, so I went back to the village, and looked for a long time. Then, there was a power outage, so I thought to myself this is what I am missing, so I painted black!"

This sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him "kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai" (What Sardarji? Are you afraid of the cinema?).Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata "( I am an intelligent(?) man, I know it is a movie, but does that animal know?)

Cousin Banta Jallandhar

Dear Banta,

I'm writing this real slow cause I know you can't read very fast. We don't live where we did when you left. We read in the paper that most accidents happen within 10 miles of home, so we moved.

I won't be able to send you our new address cause the last family that lived here took the house numbers with them so they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place has a washing machine. The first day mama put four shirts in, pulled the chain and we have not seen them since.

Its only rained here twice this week. Three days the first time and five days the second time.

I know its cold where you are so we're sending you a coat. Ma said it would be too heavy to mail with them buttons on it, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

We got a letter from the funeral home. They said if we don't make the last payment on grandma's funeral bill, up she comes!

My sister had a baby this morning. I haven't heard whether it's a boy or a girl, so I don't know if I'm an uncle or an aunt.

Uncle Balbir fell in the big whiskey vat. When they tried to pull him out, he fought them off, so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

Cousin Santa

Ludhiana.

P.S : I was planning to enclose the money that I owe you with this envelope, but I had already sealed this by then.

Santa singh shows up at his friend Banta Singh's Place in a >Brand New - Red Ferarri.

Banta: Wow Santa, What a car!Where did you get it from ?

Santa: I was walking on the highway when a beautiful lady came in this car and asked me "want a ride Mr. Singh ?" I hopped in, and she took me to the woods. Once in woods she got outside took off clothes and said to me "Mr. Singh. take anything"

Banta is quite excited and asks "What did you do Santa?"

Santa: I took the car.

Banta: good show - you wouldn't have fit into her clothes!

Three convicts escaped from prison. One was a Madrasi, one a Gujarati,

and one a Sardar. They ran for miles until they came upon an old barn

where they decided to hide in the hayloft and rest. When they climbed

up,

they found three large gunnysacks and decided to climb into them for

camouflage.

About an hour later the Prison Warden and his assistant came into the

barn. The

warden told his assistant to go up and check out the hayloft. When he

got

up there the warden asked him what he saw and the assistant yelled back,

"Just three gunnysacks."

The warden told him to find out what was in them, so the assistant

kicked the

first sack, which had the Madrasi in it. He went, "Bow-wow", so the

assistant

told the warden there was a dog in it.

Then he kicked the sack with the Gujarati in it. He went, "Meow", so

the assistant told the warden there was a cat in it.

Then he kicked the one with the Sardar in it, and there was no sound at

all. So he kicked it again, and finally the Sardar said, "Potatoes".

A Rajastani, who had spent his whole life in the desert, comes to visit

a friend. He'd never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While

standing in the middle of the rail tracks one day, he hears this

whistle -- Whooee da Whoee! -- but doesn't know what it is.

Predictably, he's hit and is thrown to the side of the tracks. It was

only a glancing blow, so he was fortunate to receive some minor internal

injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises.

After weeks in the hospital recovering, he's at his friend's house

attending a party one evening. While in the kitchen, he suddenly hears

the teakettle whistling. He grabs a iron rod from the nearby shelf

and proceeds to batter and bash the teakettle into an unrecognizable

lump of metal. His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes into the kitchen,

sees what's happened and asks the desert man, "Why did you ruin my good

tea kettle?"

The desert man replies, "Man, you gotta kill these things when they're

small."