Here is a sample of my mind at work!
I am an extremely emotional person...I am normally happy and bouncing all over the place, but I have been known to get very depressed at times because of my past! The following poems actually explain a great deal about me! Most of them were written for and inspired by my ex-fiancee, Kim! Because of events that took place her and I no longer communicate which is sad, but probably better for both of us. Some of my poems tend to show a very depressed and suicidal side of me, but I would NEVER kill myself. I do feel that being extremely depressed can bring out some of a poets and/or writer's greatest talents! Please send me E-mail at tazkak@yahoo.com and let me know what you think. I hope that you enjoy some or all of these and I will probably add some more on occassion, so feel free to check back!
Innocence
A baby born into this world
Unable to understand,
Why he is here, on this planet,
This incredibly strange new land.
As this child grows older
He learns many terrible things.
Just look at the results
That this immature society brings.
Greed, hatred,
Jealousy and war.
What else does fate
Have in store?
A child is born so innocent
And then he is molded like clay.
Forced to fit into this world,
Unable to run away.
It is our responsibility
To teach him what's wrong and right.
For he is our leader of tomorrow
And he is the one that can make our future bright.
Where Are The Answers?
High above the world
I sit on a cloud.
There are many things bothering me
But I cannot tell them aloud.
My arms are folded,
My lips are sealed,
My mind is open,
But my heart hasn't been healed.
Sometimes I laugh,
Other times I cry,
I often stop and wonder,
"Why, why, why?"
Why do I have problems?
Why can't I hide?
Why did I live
When I could have easily died?
I ask these questions
But I get no reply.
Another thing to ponder,
Why can't I fly?
Birds, bees and planes
Can all fly away.
But I'm stuck to the ground
Day after day.
Just something else
That I wonder about.
It is amond many things
That I will never find out.
Figuring out the questions
That I want to ask,
I am finding out is a nearly
Impossible task.
So many thoughts,
They seem like the forming of cancers.
All I want to know is
"Where Are The Answers?"
"FOREVER FRIENDS"
Once again I am thinking too much
Hoping you never become out of touch
Thinking and dreaming of holding you tight
For the rest of my life, night after night
The thought of losing you and learning that you never cared
Are a couple of things that make me get scared
I try real hard to hide these fears
Because thinking of them causes waterfalls of tears
You keep telling me that it won't happen
But I worry because it has, time and again
I want to provide you with everything
From a shoulder to cry on to a diamond ring
It is true that money can't buy happiness
However, it can end a great deal of stress
I dream of a family in a nice big house
With you by my side, as my spouse
Picturing my future as of late
I hope that being together is our fate
No matter what happens through life's curves and bends
My plans are to remain FOREVER FRIENDS.
My Very Own Angel
From the day I was born, things were horribly wrong.
Worse than any play, movie, or song.
An alcoholic father who refuses to try
And a mother who lives to compulsively lie.
With grandparents and relatives, extremely successful,
How in the world did I fall into this hole?
My father now hates me, my grandfather is dead,
My mother is worse than ever, and greed fills my brother's head.
It seemed that I had nothing left that I cared about,
Until one day an angel came along and broke the chains of doubt.
She restored my faith, gave me hope, and supported me in every way.
A future with her is all I dream about each and every day.
We have discussed our past and our future many times before.
When will she realize that it's her I adore?
From now to forever, till death do us part.
I love Kim Matot, My Very Own Angel, with every ounce of my heart.
"SENT FROM ABOVE"
Love and life
Life and love
We all want something sent from above
I have been looking and waiting patiently
Finally God decided he'd send you to me
An incredible gift that I truly cherish
While praying this relationship will never perish
You're like an angel that calms me down
You make it impossible for me to frown
These feelings of mine will never fade
Because of you my life has been made
Visions
I love you now
And I always will.
A long life with you,
What a thrill!
Walking along the beach
Hand-in-hand,
Leaving our footprints
In the sand.
Lying in bed
Holding you tight.
This relationship has lasted,
Yet another night.
Rubbing your shoulders,
Helping you relax.
I will never leave you,
These are the facts.
All of these things
Are visions I see,
Every time that I think
Of how I want us to be.
Through the close heartbeats
And occasional teardrops
I hope and I pray
That this love never stops.
my bleeding heart
as i sit here in a room of absolute darkness
i wonder why i am feeling no stress
am i actually lying at home in my bed
or is it possible that i am now dead
possible, probable, maybe its true
i think that i'm dying because i miss you
you have become much more than my future wife
you are my thoughts, my dreams, even my life
maybe it sounds like i'm just extremely depressed
but being apart makes me desire eternal rest
when we are together my life is great
when we are apart it is life that i hate
it is you that i love, cherish, and need
without you next to me, i feel my heart bleed
from one extreme to the other, my emotions have raced
being separated is the most difficult thing that i have ever faced
falling in love was never my intention
now for something i don't want to mention
sometimes i wish that we never had met
because the more we're apart, the worse off i get
you have helped me discover the most wonderful things
but with happiness comes the most downhearted feelings
being apart causes me to gasp for breath
it is only you, not oxygen, that can keep me from death.
Thoughts
Here I am thinking of you
Something, I must say, that is no longer new.
Thoughts of the past and present flow freely
Dreams of a future with you still by me.
I will always be faithful and completely true
Doing whatever it takes not to anger or harm you.
My love for you is much stronger than feelings or actions can show.
Yet the strength of this love continues to grow.
I often wonder what attracts you to me,
Physical appearance, I know it can't be!
Sometimes a question arises about whether or not you really care,
Or are you trying to fill an empty space that is there?
You have broken through my "walls of steel"
And made me realize that your feeling for me are real.
It scares me to think of how perfect this seems.
After all, nothing is perfect, not even dreams.
I should really relax to ease my mind
And allow my thoughts to trust that fate will be kind.
Future Plans
My plans for the future have been changed,
Some people think that I am deranged.
My love for you grows and grows,
Every day people say that it shows.
Attending the U fo A is out of my mind,
Partially because I refuse to leave you behind.
The risk of losing you would be too great.
I couldn't come back and find that I'm too late.
The loss of my grandfather has changed a lot.
Enjoying life there, I just could not.
My dad now lives there, all we do is fight.
So moving to Arizona just wouldn't be right.
It seems that you wonder if my feelings are true,
All I can say is, "I love you."
Although you're the first person that I've ever dated
These feelings I have just cannot be stated.
Please don't doubt these words that I say:
"For you I'll do anything, even stay."
My future plans all include you.
I'll do whatever it takes to make them come true.
Friends Or Not?
A friend cannot really be defined
It is all a matter of feelings withing the soul, heart, and mind!
Friends don't show doubt, they always care
If you have a problem...a friend is ALWAYS there.
Of honesty and trust a friendship does consist
Without these two things a friendship DOES NOT exist!
Constructive criticism follows along...
Friends let you know when you are wrong.
If friends can't be defined, how can we tell if they're true?
Ask yourself, "Can you live without me? Can I live without you?"
If the answers are "No" then good is the conclusion...
This IS a friend, NOT an illusion!!!
Self-Worth
What do you feel you are worth to this world?
Do you really have a right to judge another?
As our thoughts and beliefs get twisted and swirled...
There are sometimes people we would like to smother!
Does the music I listen to and the place I was raised
Give you a reason to judge me?
I've been beat on and threatened...YES, I've been phased!!!
And Tupac has said things with which I agree!
I don't like violence, I can't stand drugs...
I dislike people who try to be cruel.
I would much rather stick with kisses and hugs...
While getting an education by staying in school!
Judging people based on such little things
Is something that we all should try not to do,
Just open your mind to all that life brings!
I know I'm a good person...now look within YOU!!!
Once again, I hope that you liked them...Please send me E-mail on your thoughts?
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