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Okay, it's true that a couple of these haven't been asked exactly frequently but they probably should have been. It's also true that some of them have been asked of me at least 25 times. While it's true that the questions/answers are written in a (hopefully) humorous tone, they are meant to address your questions with genuinely applicable answers.
Q: Is it okay to bring in my latest flogger/paddle/16 foot bullwhip/portable whipping post in to show everyone at the munch?
A: No. Please save toy show and tell for another time and a more appropriate venue. We meet at a family restaurant and would like to be welcomed back.
Q: Will I meet the Master/Mistress/Top/Dom/Daddy/sub/bottom/slave/switch/pet/toy/puppy/pony/grrl/boy of my dreams at the munch and live happily ever after with him/her/it?
A: Maybe. Maybe not. While there have certainly been people who have met potential partners at the munch it's not guaranteed. What we can pretty safely guarantee is that if you come with an open mind and the expectation of meeting some caring, interesting people who are willing to share their experience and resources and who are interested and/or involved in the BDSM lifestyle, you won't be disappointed.
Q: Will there be play at the munch?
A: No. The munch is lunch. The munch is held at a family restaurant. No whips, ropes or nipple clamps are involved (or at least no visible ropes or nipple clamps).
Q: Are there any (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) OTHER activities planned for later? (i.e. Will there be a play party after the munch?)
A: The munch consists of lunch and coffee afterwards. It is simply an opportunity to meet like minded people in a safe and friendly atmosphere. Any activities which may or may not be hosted by individuals independent of the munch are just that - independent of the munch. (i.e. there may very well be, but you'd have to talk to the individual hosts to receive an invitation and that's not likely forthcoming to someone they don't know well. So keep coming around, let people get to know you and if there's something planned you may be invited at some point, depending on the host).
Q: Is everyone at the munch attractive?
A: Probably to someone. We are just folks. We are young, old, fat, thin, classically beautiful, homely, well-educated, high-school dropouts, professionals, laborers, and most things in between.
Q: I am a dom. Will all the subs in the room realize this and respect my authority over them?
A: Easy one. You don't have any authority over anyone there unless it was previously negotiated or offered to you.
Q: I am a sub. Should I defer to all the dominants and attend to their every need and desire?
A: While most people appreciate someone holding a door for them or a tea refill, that negotiation issue goes both ways.
Q: Does everyone at the munch sit around and talk about BDSM?
A: No, not everyone. Sometimes no one at all is talking about BDSM at a given moment. Because we have a certain amount of privacy at the restaurant and the purpose of this gathering is to allow BDSM interested/involved people to connect with one another, BDSM is a perfectly appropriate topic of conversation. However, since for the most part we are real people with varying interests in and out of the scene, your favorite recipe or a movie you recently saw is also a perfectly appropriate topic of conversation. Of course, we do ask that you be aware of your surroundings and that you not stand up, tap your glass to gain the attention of everyone in the restaurant, then proceed to relate in great detail the amusing story of that time you misplaced the handcuff keys and...
Q: What if I'm recognized either by someone in the restaurant or by someone attending the munch?
A: We have devised a very clever ruse to cover situations such as the first one. We suggest you tell your vanilla friend that you are "there to have lunch." It's a diabolically clever plan that works nearly every time.
In situations such as the second one where you run into someone else you know who's also attending the munch, there's usually an awkward moment or two while you both assess the situation, then someone typically says, "Cool! It's nice to know we have something more than the PTA in common!" and all is well.
Please do remember that if you recognize someone at the munch, we all rely on each other's discretion to allow us to reveal any details of our own lives as we see fit. That also applies if you meet someone from the munch in another setting; please use discretion in that situation as well.
Q: Who pays for lunch?
A: You pay for yours and I pay for mine unless you're feeling generous, then you are free to pick up the tab for as much of the party as you like.
Q: Can you tell me what the mix of people at the munch usually is? Are they mostly male, female, top, bottom, single, etc.?
A: No, it varies from munch to munch. This question gets asked a lot, and the best I can tell you is to arrive with the idea of having a pleasant lunch with some friendly folks of various genders, sexual and scene orientations, interests, and life experiences. Everyone is welcome as long as they behave appropriately and meet the attendance criteria.
Comment: It is my opinion that respect is earned, not demanded or owed. Basic courtesy is expected from all toward all however; dom, sub, switch, or anything else.
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