- B&D
- bondage & dominance or bondage & discipline
- S&M
- sadism & masochism
- D&S
- dominance & submission
- Master
- A male that owns/controls another individual
- Mistress
- A female that owns/controls another individual
- Dom
- A male dominant
- Domme
- A female dominant
- slave
- One that is "owned" by another person and submits to them
- sub/subbie
- a submissive person
- switch
- Trading/reversing the roles of Dom/sub
- top
- the sub taking the Dominant role
- bottom
- the Dom taking the submissive role
- collar
- A vow between Master/slave, similar to that of a wedding ring
- scene
- A sexual performance, a "show"
- negotiation
- Establishing any limitations prior to a scene/open communication
- safeword
- A word the sub uses to cease whatever activity is going on because the subs limits have been reached. The Dom recognizes that "too much is too much" and calls the questioned order/instruction off immediately.
- safesign
- Same concept as a safeword, only it's something like motioning two fingers together to imply a cutting scissors motion. This is used when a sub may be gagged and can't speak for themselves with words, but needs to relay that limits have reached the max.
- edgeplay
- When a safeword is not allowed.
- RT/RL
- Real time/real life, as opposed to online or phone relationship.
- 24/7
- D/s relationship that exists twenty four hours a day and seven days a week.
- vanilla
- An adult non-D/s relationship.The common Man/Woman relationship that most of us start out with until we experience D/s...
Some people enjoy submitting to another person, placing themselves under the power of another, in a sexual and mental context. It can be a very hot thing for someone to say to you, "I'm yours. Use my body for your pleasure." This is D&S; one person is dominating, the other submitting. D&S is an erotic power game, where both people are getting off--one on the thrill of controlling, the other on the thrill of being controlled.
What do Doms and subs do with each other? For one, they often indulge in hot sex, in its various forms. This may involve The Dom physically bonding the sub down, putting the sub at the Doms mercy. The Dom may then tease, seduce, frustrate, control and ultimately satisfy the sub. This is a bondage & dominance sort of game. Some people enjoy playing with punishment it relieves them of the guilt that they are enjoying this type of play--"You've been bad, I will punish you by tieing you up and spanking you!" That's bondage & discipline for you.
Then there's the sort of game described by S&M--"sadism and masochism". Whips, canes, nipple clamps, etc used to create a degree of pain. It can be a powerful thing to submit to someone else who wants to hurt you; it's a fantastic gesture of trust. This game should be consentual and for mutual pleasure. The sub does not look at pain as pain, but looks at it as intense stimulation pushing them to major levels of excitement.These things are being referred to as play because this is for the pleasure and fun of the people involved. It must be consentual to work properly.
BDSM has definite connotations of theater. The fact that you are a submissive while you're playing sexually does not translate you into being a doormat or a pushover in real life. In fact it takes a very strong character to submit to another person. The fact that a Dominant may use pain against the sub or controlling measures does not mean they are an exploiter or a ego crazed maniac. In fact, Doms are usually very affectionate and protective people, always keeping the welfare of their sub in mind.
A safeword needs to be taken seriously. The sub is there to please the Dom, in any capacity - and they try very hard to accomplish this -- BUT -- the bottom line is that WE all have limitations. When too much is too much, a safeword/sign should be called without fear and the Dom should immediately acknowledge it. Safewords/signs should however NOT be abused by the sub, they are there as a precaution but a sub should remember their their position and that they are there to show servitude. If your Dom doesn't respect your safeword, it's a safe bet that they won't respect other limits of yours, and you will need to decide whether you want to play with someone who doesn't acknowledge your boundaries. A safeword is like the subs assurance or guarantee that he/she can count on, it's a highly regarded word. It is the Doms job to know their sub and the limits of that sub, but we are all human after all and don't realize boundaries sometimes. The safeword is the "ticket out".
For some people the idea of pain being fun is foreign and not understood. It is looked upon as abuse.The best way to explain this is that when you are sexually aroused your pain tolerance goes way up. It's no secret that many enjoy a spanking during sex, or that many will have their nails go scratching down someones back in a heated sex session. IF you were scratched like that when you weren't having sex, you'd scream. During the sex it's added pleasure though. Pain actually becomes stimulation during sex.
This is common knowledge. A key thing to keep in mind also is that the brain produces endorphins, natural opiates, to compensate for pain. It all boils down to "to each his own" - various levels of pain - some enjoy light spankings or nipple pinching, others enjoy whippings or floggings. Keep in mind that it is all CONSENTUAL.
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B&D
- bondage & dominance or bondage & discipline
- bondage
- This is restraining a person down from physical movements or maybe even complete immobilization. This is usually done in D/s for a sexual boost but is also used as a form of punishment. This can involve handcuffs, leg shackles, rope, chain, ball gags, blindfolds, crosses, suspension devices, etc.
- bottom
- the Dom taking the submissive role
- branding
- a form of cannery that leaves permanent raised markings, it's a piece of metal that is heated and quickly and precisely pressed into the recipients skin.
- butt plug
- This device made of rubber gets inserted into the anus, this is used primarily for 3 reasons --it's pleasure for some -- it's punishment for others -- and it's also used as a training method preliminary to anal intercourse. The plugs base is flared which distends the sphincter muscles and prevents it from sliding all the way up into the rectum
- caning
- Severe form of spanking in which a cane is used. No, not a walking cane stick, but a flexible type rod thats usually made of either bamboo or fiberglass even.
- collar
- A vow between Master/slave, similar to that of a wedding ring
- coprolagnia
- erotic stimulus derived from witnessing the act of defecation.
- coprophilia
- erotic stimulus derived from viewing or being covered with human feces (also known as brown showers, scat, toilet training)
- cropping
- This is our very own ionas favorite. It's a whipping done by crop. A crop has a long sturdy handle that holds a flexible, narrow shaft usually covered in braided nylon or leather.
- cunnilingus
- Female oral sex; kissing, sucking, and licking on the lower female sex parts.
- D&S
- dominance & submission
- discipline
- The Dominant enforces obedience to the submissive by using a set of guidelines and rules to govern proper submissive behavior and conduct.
- Dom
- A male dominant
- Domme
- A female dominant
- Dominant
- In the D/s world this term refers to both male & female dominants, those who exert power and control over a submissive person. The dominant is the submissives protector, teacher, and lover.
- Domination
- A power play of control and intensifying force thats psychologically and sexually placed on the submissive. This is for the sake of mutual pleasure and is done with consent. The submissive partner willfully surrenders his/her power for the sake of mutual pleasure and allows nearly all decisions to be made by the dominant. The submissive becomes carbon copy of an obedient little pet, serving the dominant in any capacity; sexual service, in some cases submitting to degradation and humiliation, and basically placing themselves "lower" than the dominant.
- dungeon
- A private place filled with D/s type toys, lots of bondage suspension equipment, whips, floggers, clamps, etc.
- edgeplay
- When a safeword is not allowed.
- enema
- Injection of liquid into the intestine by way of the anus...usually soapy or plain water, enemas cause cramping and force the evacuation of the bowels..some find them a source of erotic stimulation, enemas are also used for punishments and/or humiliation.
- erotic
- something that tends to arouse sexual love or desire
- exhibitionist
- a person who gets a kick out of showing his/her genitals to others.
- fellatio
- Male oral sex; kissing, licking, and sucking the lower male sex organs.
- fisting
- a sexual act where the Dominant slowly works first fingers and then hand into either the anus or vagina of the submissive.
- flagellation
- The act of whipping, that simple.
- flail
- A handle that has long thin straps on it; used for whipping.
- "the float"
- the point in a D/s session when a certain level of pain cause the endorphins to kick in bringing the submissive to a state of euphoria which is both physical and spiritual (also known as subspace)
- genital torture
- includes such things as the use of compression devices, attaching weights to cause distention and discomfort, and whipping the genitals.
- golden shower
- A practice in which the Dominant urinates on the submissive--for some an intense erotic pleasure, for others the ultimate humiliation.
- humiliation
- To lower the pride or dignity of someone--in the D/s sense, the Dominant accentuates the submissive's feeling of defenselessness and exposes that while avoiding to make the submissive feel any less worthwhile as a human being. It should be understood that Dominants do have a great degree of respect for their submissives, and this is usually only done during sexual play or for discipline. Many submissives are strong charactered people with high self esteem but crave humiliation at times.
- klismaphilia
- the eroticization of enemas, giving or receiving.
- masochism
- deriving sexual excitement and satisfaction from being subjected to abuse or physical pain
- Master
- A male Dominant with a higher degree of control that a Dom; a Master generally own a slave as opposed to a submissive. The slave gives up all rights to the Master and becomes the Masters property.
- Mentor
- In the D/s arena this is a Dom/Domme teaching another Dom/Domme the art of domination.
- Mistress
- A female Dominant with a higher degree of control that a Domme; a Mistress generally own a slave as opposed to a submissive. The slave gives up all rights to the Mistress and becomes the Mistress' property.
- mummification
- The complete bondage of a person using plastic wrap & tape
- necrophilia
- erotic interest in or stimulation by corpses ( I don't think anyone in OUR channel is into this, I just listed it for da hell of giving you one more thing to read...)
- negotiation
- Establishing any limitations prior to a scene/open communication
- nipple clamps
- used for the temporary compression or pinching of this sensitive skin--from clothespins to elaborate adjustable clamps, the key is to use them only for brief periods of time, to maximize stimulation and minimize the potential for nerve damage--15 minutes at a time should be the maximum.
- paddling
- spanking with a paddle...sometimes they have holes drilled in it to decrease air resistance and increase the velocity of the blow. Just like the ol principal in school used ta have...
- piercing
- incision of the skin followed by the insertion of a ring or other metal adornment...few parts of the body can not be pierced, but body protrusions are preferable to flat areas, since flat areas heal slowly, if at all...popular sites for erotic piercing include nipples, navels, in males=the glans or frenum of the penis, the foreskin and/or the scrotum, in females the inner or outer labia, the clitoris, or the clitoral hood.
- play party
- D/s gathering where sexual scenes/play happens
- protector
- in the D/s world, a Dom/me who usually looks out for a new/training submissive
- punishment
- This is used by the Dominant when he/she is disciplining the submissive. Most often if a submissive knows they have disappointed their Dominant and slacked in their servitude, this is punishment enough. Anything that fits the crime can be used, from the silent treatment, to caging the submissive like an animal, to a harsh look to physical pain with spankings; often humiliation tactics are used to punish the faulty submissive.
- role-playing
- a means of enabling D/s'ers to experience the erotic thrill of an extreme fantasy within safe limits--including those fantasies which, if made into reality, would be truly horrifying (for example, a fantasy involving rape)
- S&M
- sadism & masochism
- safe/sane
- the universally accepted credo and philosophical core of D/s--Safe: safe sex, consensual protection of vital organs, and no meaningful damage. Sane: any given activity is done for the pleasure of everyone involved and that partner's limits are to be respected. Consensual: clear, informed, and verbalized consent of both partners.
- safeword
- A word the sub uses to cease whatever activity is going on because the subs limits have been reached. The Dom recognizes that "too much is too much" and calls the questioned order/instruction off immediately.
- safesign
- Same concept as a safeword, only it's something like motioning two fingers together to imply a cutting scissors motion. This is used when a sub may be gagged and can't speak for themselves with words, but needs to relay that limits have reached the max.
- scarification
- making cuts or scars, usually with a knife.
- scat play
- a practice in which the top defecates on and/or smears his/her feces on the bottom. (I hope you all know that just because I am listing these terms does NOT mean that I am into all of these things!)
- scene
- A sexual performance, a "show"
- "The Scene"
- Organizations that revolve around D/s; i.e. groups, clubs, etc.
- sensory control
- Increasing sexual intensity and/or punishing/humiliating by limiting the 5 senses, using tools like blindfolds and earplugs...
- shaven
- It's common that a Master/Mistress requires their slave to be bare and have their pubic hair shaved off...to take away something that is theirs and show that the Dominant maintains the power and control, and also become some find it more appealing to the eye.
- slave
- One that is "owned" by another person (a Master/Mistress) and submits to them without question or argument, the duty of the slave is to serve and please the Master/Mistress in every aspect, and to do this happily knowing their welfare is always protected by the Master/Mistress.
- spanking
- Sometimes done for pleasure, sometimes for punishment - usually done by placing blows using the palm of the hand to the ass
- stigmatohpilia
- the eroticization of tattooing, scarification, branding or piercing.
- sub/subbie
- a submissive person
- submission
- This is a tremendous gift. Giving up ones own power and control fully, and placing it in the hands of another (the Dominant). Submission can not happen without total trust. Once that trust is established, the submission given is that of the heart, mind, body and soul.
- switch
- Trading/reversing the roles of Dom/sub
- toys
- Anything used to enhance D/s play - dildos, butt plugs, crops, etc...
- TENS
- Trans Electric Nerve Simulator, battery powered toll controlling pulse intensity /frequency with two leads that can be attached to a dildo or clitring or whatever. The sensation could be tingle, a trembling buzz, or a high jolt.
- top
- the sub taking the Dominant role
- urophilia
- erotic stimulus from viewing, being showered by, or ingesting urine (golden showers).
- vanilla
- An adult non-D/s relationship...typicalliy considered "boring" by D/s addicts. The regular old common Man/Woman relationship
- Violet Wand
- Hand-held power tool w/ little glass bulbs sticking out of one end. The bulb glows violet and crackles; touching it will cause static sparks to jump to your skin, with an causing a "zap!" and a sharp shock.
- voyeur
- I think our very own claudia is one of these. A person who likes to spectate others in the act of sex.
- water sports
- erotic interests in elimination--either artificially induced, as with enemas or catheterization or occurring naturally.
- waxing
- Dripping of hot wax onto the body to achieve erotic pain.
- whipping
- Striking the flesh usually but not exclusively on the back, with a whip, flail or other stinging devices.
- 24/7
- D/s relationship that exists twenty four hours a day and seven days a week.
***Electrical play is using electricity to generate sensation. Be VERY CAUTIOUS.
Electrical play that involves current flowing through the body should ONLY BE DONE BELOW THE WAIST; any current above the waist or through the heart can induce immediate cardiac arrest.***
