'His Light upon my soul, His hands hold my heart, His world surrounds me. All that I am is as He wishes me to be...the lyric that breathes life to His music.' Aug 1995
I have always taken pride in the fact that I know who I am and what I am capable of. I have always been interested in new experiences and love walking on the wild side. Once I took that initial step into d/s I knew this was what I had been searching for.......a way to soothe the wild child in me. I'm not into this because I need someone to help boost my self esteem or fix the problems I had as a child... My self image is very positive and I know I have a lot to offer. The draw to d/s for me is that I am a woman full of love and sensuality and passion and who would wants nothing more than to be free and safe enough to show my Master the full extent of it.
I claim no expertise in the realm of d/s. What I have learned has been thru trial and error over the last 2 years. In my opinion few men deserve the title of Master and part of what it takes is a true love of women and an appreciation of their intelligence, sensuality and passion for life, and then to have the strength and confidence to bring out the best in her.
I cannot be Submissive if He is not Dominant
One thing of paramount importance I have learned is that as your slave it is you, my Master who controls the various aspects of my life and that I am acting on *your* commands, and am subject to *your* whims. In order for me to be submissive, YOU must be in charge of me in a very real and definite way.
Despite the physical distance between us I believe you want my submission to be a daily part of my life and the more I feel I am under your control and care, the happier I will ultimately be. For me, I don't think it would be enough if your control was just within the context of a scene and did not carry over into the rest of our relationship. I would never feel my submission if the only time I could experience it was when we were actually together. And by the same token I don't think you would enjoy the feeling of control unless you could claim it at all times, whenever you wanted it and in the form you wished to have it. We are both - all or nothing - personalities.
I know that my desire to please you is an essential element of
my submission. Thru pleasing you, and enjoying your pleasure, I will feel the joy as well. Though we both know I love to have the experiences you are giving me, I MUST always feel that it's for your pleasure equally, if not more than my own. Being submissive is my gift to you, a way of pleasing you as completely as possible. I want to be your slave, and intellectually I know I have the choice to agree or disagree but that the freedom on my part to agree to all of your desires has been slowly and painstakenly ingrained within in me that the choice no longer truly exists.
The feeling of being Owned is one of the most secure and desired feelings a sub can have. Being "Owned" should be a total experience. It means I am subject to your whims at any time and no reason is necessary beyond the fact it is something you want. For me, there is great excitement and anticipation in being used for your pleasure and never knowing what your next command or task may be.
In essence I am free and I am whole because I am yours.
