Dominance and submission has not always been a part of my life, but has become my greatest torment when not understood by either myself and those I shared my thoughts with, and the source of greatest contentment and pride when I finally realized how beautiful and loving an exchange it is.

In a way, it is impossible to describe or explain it to another unless that person has the creativity and capacity to see its full potential in that it draws two people so close together that everything they have inside of them can be revealed and that is when they can be loved unconditionally and completely.

The only rule to d/s is that there are no rules. What each slave/sub wants is different and takes varying forms. I am writing this with a particular slave in mind (me), and that is the kind of woman who is so full of love that she longs to give herself unreservedly to her Master. It is written for those women who want to be a full-time slavegirl, who enjoy the sensual pleasures of being spanked (and more!) and who want to be disciplined when they do not meet their own personal goals and the guidelines for behavior set by their Master.

In talking to other submissive women, one thing stands out prominently and that is very very few men realize the importance that submission holds for her. It is far more than a physical experience, it is an emotional connection with a man so meaningful that it contains her very soul.

Though d/s is often very light and spontaneous and sometimes treated as a special sensual playtime, for her it is what is most real in her life. It is NOT a game. To treat it as such is to do her a great injustice for it trivializes her greatest expression of love. It is a frightening thought to want to give that much love to another person. I have found that person in my Master. We are separated by hundreds of miles....but it doesn't lessen what I feel for him. I see our relationship as something he and I share , irregardless to the other relationships we have in our lives. This is something between the two of us, unique and beautiful in its own way.

Not all women want to be a 24/7 slavegirl. Not all women are capable of it.....I am not even sure if such a situation is actually possible in real life. But to me, in my mind, I am slave to my Master, every minute of everyday. Yes, I am the professional, the lover, the sister, the daughter, the friend but I am also His.

Being submissive is extremely erotic. It touches my sexuality in the most powerful way and when combined with all the mental, emotional and physical aspects of a relationship, it can often be the most sexually intense and emotionally fulfilling experience a woman can ever have.

Often, the smallest of looks or commands will leave a woman drenched with sexual excitement. I am not afraid of the intensity...My Master touches me in ways, even he is not always aware of.....

When a slave gives herself to a Master completely, she is also giving him the freedom to explore the depths of her sexuality and passion, to take her places she cannot go herself, to have experiences she probably cannot ask for. She is depending on him, her Master, to give her the push to get beyond any resistance he may encounter.

Getting past resistance is where strength and understanding as a Dominant is essential. If you back off instead of encouraging her onward (by spank or by praise) she will not be able to explore the depths of herself. She needs your unconditional love and support to feel safe to go where she cannot go alone. As you sexually open her body to you, you are also opening her heart and soul. This my Master does for me.

Though changing rapidly, most women have been raised to be ashamed of their sexual feelings. Being with a dom who treasures a woman's natural sexuality enough to go far beyond where most stop is an extremely liberating experience for her. It also touches upon her desire to be able to reveal herself as she truly is as you help her by removing her falsely imposed conditioning. Even if she cannot ask, it is important to understand that the slave wants to overcome her resistance as much as the Dominant wants her to.

As your relationship grows and she becomes more comfortable and trusting in her knowledge that you understand her feelings, she will find it easier to admit certain sexual desires to you. It's often easier to put something in writing than to have to say it verbally...

A woman wants a man to be strong and to protect and watch over her. She wants to be able to relax in the safety of his arms and the world that he creates for her. If you can do that for a woman, you will see something inside her blossom and grow, and you will marvel at the treasure you have discovered that was always inside her but which she never felt safe to reveal, so afraid was she that it would not be appreciated for the incredible gift which it is.

There is the feeling of being taken care of by her Master. Knowing that she has certain rules and limits for herself. If she disobeys them, she expects to be disciplined. When you are correcting her behavior by a punishment of some kind, several things are happening. The first is that you care enough for her to correct her. It is proof to her that she has your attention and you are watching over her, making sure she does what is best for herself. If it was a task or command of your's that she disobeyed, then your punishment leaves no doubt in her mind that she must obey you and that allows her to feel secure in her submission to you.

If you set rules for her then never check to see they are followed, your message to her is that she is not worth the effort it takes to see that she has obeyed. You are unconsciously saying she does not deserve your attention. This lack of attention may touch many emotions in her going back to her childhood years...

As the Dominant, you want your rules obeyed and she wants to obey them and be recognized for her desire to please you. If she "overlooks" a rule it is often a test to see if you care enough to catch it, and for you it is an opportunity to show her that she will not be allowed to get away with anything. The stricter you are in supervising her, the more she will feel your attention and the happier she will be.

The real experience, seems to me to be when the Master and slave reveal themselves to each other completely with total trust that they will be accepted EXACTLY where they are at. We do not have the right to expect our person to admire every single trait of ours, but we do have a right to unconditional love. I want my Master to feel as tho I am moving toward Him, not away from Him.

The whole point of d/s is to strip away the pretense, the little secrets about ourselves that we are convinced that nobody could ever love us if they knew about. It's all an exchange of power. The slave has lots of control, but the thrill is in giving that up in order to go new places inside herself.

I think that in a good d/s relationship where there is a definition of roles that the Master must retain control overall. My Master taught me that he could make me want things that I swore, initially that I had no interest in wanting. He really did control me, because he found the me I couldn't always find myself.

One marvelous aspect of submission is that it is a wonderful way to escape from yourself. The transition to that other side of your personality can be very exciting and sometimes difficult, but that's part of the thrill.

During the day different aspects of our personality come into the forefront as we move from one role to another. For example, there may be a big difference in one's personality at work as compared to home. Keeping up these roles requires a large amount of psychic energy which over time can become exhausted. On of the great attractions to d/s is this balancing of energy by experiencing the opposite role.

At work, your slave may be very powerful and dominant and carry a great deal of responsibility. Being a mother at home is tremendously demanding and requires a great deal of energy in caring for and supervising the children. If she has spent her day instructing and inspecting others, she may crave the transition from that position of authority to one of servitude.

When she can become your slavegirl, she gets a relaxing respite from the stresses of her life. She can renew herself by once again becoming a little girl who is loved and looked after. Instead of having to cope with the stress of making decisions she can surrender to you and do exactly as she is told knowing she is safe in your care.

For me, being with my Master has been an eye opening experience. I enjoy it, I enjoy being with Him. Even when I am angry with Him, there is still joy in that anger , because He is Mine as much as I am His. Each day brings me closer to the inevitable.......surrendering everything to Him. Never doubt that what I do, I do for Him as well as my myself..........