I love sports so much that I proved my affection by having my right knee reconstructed & four shoulder surgeries. (No, I don't have 4 shoulders! I had two surgeries on each.)

Right knee...Hurdling, Right shoulder...Football, Left shoulder...Wrestling, Again on the left...Gymnastics. I just had my latest surg. on 01/14/98. I hope to be done with this crap now!

Isn't that cool?

Okay, I'll be honest. Most of the surgeries came after a lot of drinking, stupid dares, and proving my manhood.

I win!! Right??

Well, I am a man. A slightly altered man.

Hey, I know I've made mistakes, but don't ever call me Franken-ted. You don't want me to cry! That pisses me off...