Considerations of a good match

What You Should Really Think About

While the majority of information on this page is covered elsewhere at this site, I feel that these particular issues ought to be given more attention. Now, I know that all of these issues are nearly impossible to find in one given person, and that most of them seem to have little merit. However, they do play important and significant factors in a long term relationship. So here goes...

1. How far the relationship will go: – Okay. So you decide on starting out as friends. Did you mention that you may (or may not) ever want to get married again. This alone, if discussed properly, can save a lot of heartbreak down the road. I'm not saying that you have to commit yourself in the first week of knowing someone. However, if you are sure you will never re-marry again then let it be known.
2. Geography: – City Mouse or Country Mouse? What about the drive to work? If you're going to let yourself become close to somebody, I think it's important to consider "living together" possibilities. People can come up with all kinds of reasons for why they need to live near a certain area. Usually it's because of their career. However, there are numerous other reasons such as weather, allergic reactions, etc....
3. Family Orientation/ Religious Beliefs: – Unless you met your partner at a religion related function, it is very likely that your partners religious beliefs are in a faith different from yours. Though the two of you may feel strong enough to overcome this difference you still need to consider the possibility that some of your friends and family may be offended by some of your partners practices. Aside from the difference in beliefs, it is equally important to consider the interest levels: Do you go every Sunday? Every Holiday? Can you tolerate a Christmas tree in the background while you light the candles for Chanukah? More importantly, will your children be confused by sharing/ partaking in two religions?
4. Age Differences: – It's easy to say that age is only relative. Many people in their 40's are as active as people in their 20's. However, musical taste, political beliefs, etc. are often related to the era in time to which a person is born. Will your friends be able to relate and get along well with someone outside your age range?
5. Health, Fitness, and Lifestyle: – Can your partner keep up with you? Do you like the same foods? A persons diet can effect a relationship more than we think. A person who jogs every day rarely eats pork and beans with a side of spaghetti as an everyday meal. Do they smoke, drink, or take drugs? Do they keep a clean house? Even if their habits can be tolerated you still must consider the effects on your children.
6. Sexual Activity: – Do you need it every day or just once a month? Are hugs, kisses, and holding hands important to you? Are you flexible to other sexual activities?
7. Career – Are you where you want to be? Do you know the hours you'll be working once you get there? Will your schedule match your partners 5 yrs down the road? Can you balance out the time needed for your career as well as your partner and, of course, your family?
8. Physical Attributes: – What about looks are important to you? Okay. When you first began your search for a partner you probably hoped for a "model type" figure from a magazine, or maybe you just came out of a bad relationship and all you wanted was a dependable type. Chemistry is important, but you must consider to some degree whether this person can actually hold your physical and emotional interest (and visa-versa) for the duration of the relationship.
9. The Family Plan: – Do you want more children? What roles do you plan to carry? Are you a militant with rules in the house or are you more lax and care-free?
10. Education Level - Can people in the corporate world mix well with the blue collar worker? Sure, your partner may have the looks and/ or making the big bucks as an auto mechanic or secretary for a big firm, but if their education level differs, you may find that your friends and their friends may not be able to mix very well in a social setting. Yes, there are acceptable variations here. Use your judgement.
11. Other Considerations: – Political views, body piercing, general hygiene, and disabilities.
12. More To Come – It's hard to think of everything. If you feel I missed an item or feel strongly indifferent to what I've said here then...
    

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