WARNING

Horror-scope Incoming

Hallo Ladies and Gentlemen. This is a horror-scope made just for you. I won't tell what sign I am (Check out my birth date on the main page and figure it out yourself, idiot), but I WILL say that this horror-scope was made by astrologer extra-ordinaire Sehra Lamour. Of course I think she is a fraud. You don't have to believe all the crap she says. I don't. For instance, she predicted that I would not finish this se

On with the horror-scope.....

Sexually, your week is going to be very exciting, for your partner, since you’ll be on a journey. The contract you signed, while you were drunk in the bar, forces you to make a 6-month-long, strip-tease in Kuweit. We won’t tell you what to do, just DON’T say any of your Saddam-is-a-hero jokes.

It all seemed so good. The great was great, she was great. The drinks were great. You started kissing her and fondling her. She took you into her apartment. It turned out she was your boss in a transvestite disguise. Oh well, you always had SOME homo-tensions in you. Go on, do the dirty deed and I am sure you’ll get a promotion nest thing in the morning.

You want to do it. No you don’t. You want to do it, but something stops you. You plan to do it. You postpone it. You re-plan to do it. You re-postpone it. You abandon the idea. You take it again. You plan to get into action. You don’t do it. You go to do it. You give up at the last minute. MAKE UP YOUR £$%^ING MIND WILL YA?

Stay away from hospitals this month, they are hazardous to your health. Unless of course you are a doctor. In that case YOU are hazardous for the health of others. We should have said that before the truck hit you. Fortunately you were outside the hospital. Unfortunately it was on strike and they had to get you to a military one, about 200 miles away. Pray that you’ll make it alive, and for god’s sake don’t tell the nurse what a wonderful body she has. She’ll think you are being sarcastic and torture you to death.

Your ego has blinded you, you have not even noticed that your family has taken all your stuff away and abandoned you. Your ideas are not always as ingenious as the last one you had, killing cats stuffing them, and selling them to the market.

A very attractive person, chats you up, take you to a hotel room, kisses you, hugs you, throws you in bed, undresses you, gets dissappointed and dresses you up again. The new wild and crazy haircut that you bought into the office results in you having a lobotomy.

Your bad habit of asking the hairdresser to trim your nose-hair is going to bring you serious problems. Of course it’s not entirely your fault. How could you know that he was an epileptic and that he would have a crisis when he was "Operating" on you. Don’t take it that bad. A third nostril has its advantages. That scar looks rather nice, and that machine you use to talk, brings you more into the "mecha" look of our time.

Your economics are not in such a good condition since you still have that bad habit of making money notes paper planes and throwing them out of the window. Meanwhile the police finds 500 kilos of cocaine in your closet. How they got in there you have no idea. However you easily convince the court that they are for personal use, and they let you go.

Your sign is above the moon. As a result, you’ll meet Joe, who will meet Sheela, who will meet may, who will meet Isaac, who will meet Abraham, who will meet Sarah, who will meet John, who will meet Peter, who will meet Jacob who will meet Marian, who will meet trouble. As for you, you’ll get hit by a passing plane, have a nice day.

We don’t think it’s the right time to tell your wife that you discovered your feminie side and that the black guy you found in that bar will add more spice into your sex life. However, we believe it is the right time to tell Mangopo to stop waving that Nigerian sword over your mother

You are rather surprised by the sudden urge of your friends and relatives to have you locked up in a lunatic asylum. Reconsider your behaviour and stop threatening your family with razors.

(Heh,heh,heh)

E-mail me and tell me if your horror-scope came true....