Man, I'm Glad I Am A Woman!!!
MAN I AM GLAD I AM A WOMAN. Man I'm glad I'm a woman, yes I am, yes I am.... I don't live off of Budweiser,
beer nuts and Spam...
I don't brag to my buddies about my erections. I
won't drive to Hell before I ask for directions.... I don't get wasted at
parties and act like a clown... and I know how to put the damned toilet
seat down!...
I won't grab your hooters, I won't pinch your butt..... my belt
buckle's not hidden beneath my beer gut....
I don't go around
"readjusting" my crotch. or yell like Tarzan when my head-board gets a
notch...
I don't belch in public, I don't scratch my behind. I'm a woman
you see -- I'm just not that kind!
I'm glad I'm a woman, I'm so glad I could sing... I don't have body hair
like shag carpeting...
It doesn't grow from my ears or cover my back...
When I lean over you can't see 3 inches of crack....
And what's on my head
doesn't leave with my comb... I'll never buy a toupee to cover my
dome...
Or have a few hairs pulled from over the side. I'm a woman, you
know -- I've got far too much pride!
And I honestly think its a privilege for me to have these two boobs and
squat when I pee....
I don't live to play golf and shoot basketball. I
don't swagger and spit like a Neanderthal...
I won't tell you my wife just
does not understand...
stick my hand in my pocket to hide that gold band...
or tell you a story to
make you sigh and weep then screw you, roll over and fall sound asleep!
Yes, I'm glad I'm a woman, a woman you see...you can forget all about
that old penis envy. I don't long for male bonding, I don't cruise for
chicks... join the Hair Club For Men, or think with my dick..
I'm a woman by
chance and I'm thankful it's true... I'm so glad I'm a woman and not a
man like you!
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