Panic was the only think she could grasp. The great void filled her, almost to emptiness, except the panic. Somewhere in the back, all she could feel was panic. She could hear noises, sirens, screaming, voices. None of it seemed tangible, none of it seemed real. Nothing at all felt real.

Time seemed to stretch, seconds into minutes and minutes into hours. She shivered violently. Looking down, she noticed her fingers. The nails were painted with a bright turquoise shade. She sat there, staring at her nails, thinking about how ugly they were and tried to remember why she had painted them that horrendous color. And then the emptiness became something hard and terrible. She was filled with the greatest sorrow she had ever known when she realized why.

For him. It had been for him, his favorite color. He was supposed to be there, to see her, but he never came. He hadn't been there. And he never would be again. A voice startled her; shattering her delicate thoughts with a grief-ridden shriek.

"YOU! Murderer! You killed him! You killed my son!" the voice screamed at her. She flinched as if she had been beaten, grasping the sides of the plastic chairs, as if to hold on to reality.

"You killed him! You killed my son!" the voice taunted over and over again. She turned away, trying to escape the sound of the accusations. But she couldn't. It followed her. She threw up her hands and fought against the voice, denying what her own inner thoughts had echoed.

"No, you're wrong," she cried desperately, hoping she would be believed.

"Murderer!" the unforgiving, relentless voice repeated over and over again, taunting her with her grief and her guilt.

A knocking at the door woke Lilia out of her dream. She was gasping for air and she felt damp with perspiration. She breathed deeply, pressed her clammy hands to her forehead to cool it. The knock sounded again, and she stood on shaky legs and made her way to the door, glancing at the time as she walked by. It was 2 a.m.

She opened the door and looked at the person standing there. It was dark and in her shaken state, she couldn't really make out who it was.

"Are you okay, Lilia? I came to see if you were all right, after you ran out of the restaurant tonight and I thought I heard you yelling," the person asked. Lilia stared hard at the face before her and suddenly connected the voice with the face.

"AJ! I almost didn't recognize you. Yeah, I'm fine. Just a nightmare, that's all you heard," she stammered, embarassed. She flicked on the light switch and blink in the sudden harsh ligh.

"Are you sure you're okay? You look like you're really shaken," he asked, reaching out his hand to touch her shoulder. She shied away from his hand and nodded.

"Really, I'm fine. Just a little embarassed. Hope I didn't bother you or anything," she said, feeling her face burn.

"No problem. You're fine?" he asked. She smiled at his persistence.

"Really, I'm okay. I appreciate your concern, though. Thank you," she said.

"Hey, can't let a beautiful lady like yourself keep herself from getting her beauty sleep," he said with a wink and headed back down the hall to his room.

Taking a shaky breath, she closed the door, flicked off the switch and returned to her bed. She lay there, staring at the clock for awhile, unable to sleep.

* * * *

"I just don't get it. And it's going to bother me forever until I figure it out!" Nick said, pacing around the room.

"Okay, listen Nick. Stop. You're driving me absolutely insane! Just get over it, okay? The girl didn't want to sing, no big deal." Brian said, getting fed up with Nick's obsession.

"But did you see her? There something in her eyes, it was almost like a longing. She wanted to sing, but she didn't. And that is what's bothering me!" Nick said, sitting down with a frustrated sigh.

"Maybe she felt uncomfortable in front of a group of singers, like us," Brian suggested, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"But Paul said that there was some reason she wouldn't, it sounded pretty serious. But he wouldn't tell me, and it's driving me insane!" Nick returned.

"And you are driving me insane! Either change the subject, or go to your own room, because I don't want to hear it anymore!" Brain said laughingly.

"But-"

"No buts! If you're so curious, just ask her. Not me. Her. Because you're not going to find out from me, because I don't know. Unlike you, it doesn't bother me. She just didn't want to sing," Brian said.

"There's more to it than that. I'll find out, I think Jacki knows. I'll get it out of her," Nick said, determination echoing in his words.