Another knock on the door. This time, Lilia got who she expected.

"What do you want?" she demanded Nick, who was leaning against the door frame in the same manor that he had the night before.

"The old you back," he answered. She glared at him.

"I don't know what you are talking about," she spit out at him. He walked through the door, leaving her seething in anger, and she slammed the door and followed him.

"I had thought as much. So I figured I'd bring a visual reminder," Nick said, and he pulled a very familiar tape recorder out of his pocket. Trembling slightly at the sight of it, she remained silent as he pressed the play button.

Her voice sang out, filling the silence with it. It was bittersweet, a sound she had almost forgotten and the words that she had chosen to ignore. She hadn't uttered a note since the day she left, and while before it had been fear causing her from singing, it was now a way to punish herself even further. She loved singing, but she had lost everything, so she shouldn't be allowed to sing.

But the sound of her own voice brought back the longing that she hadn't experienced in so long. She had been too sad, too broken within herself, to need to sing. But she had been pulled from the precipice from anger, the shattered glass no longer representing who she was. She had wanted life enough to fight off the darkness, and life had brought back the urge to create an emotional vent to release the pressure of keeping everything inside.

And he was holding it in front of her.

"Turn that off," she demanded.

"No. I like it," he said defiantly. She glared at him, but it didn't work.

"This doesn't prove anything. I sang. I don't anymore. It doesn't mean that I'm not Lilia anymore," she explained to him.

"This is just part of it, Lily. There is so much more to you than singing, and I don't see any of it anymore, except anger," Nick said, suddenly emotional.

"Just stop, okay? I don't know what you are talking about!" she yelled. He grabbed her hand, and led her towards the bathroom, where the shattered mirror, the bottle of vodka and scattered bottle of pills still were. He stood behind her as he forced her to take in the scene in front of her, from the threshold of the room.

"What happened here?" he demanded.

"What do you care?" she asked, determined not to show any emotion.

"Lily, from the looks of things…I don't even want to say it," he whispered, unleashing the anger she had stored up.

"You think you know what happened? Do you think that you can possibly understand what the hell I've been going through? Because you can't," she yelled, stepping into the bathroom, her footsteps crunching on the broken glass.

"Because you won't let me, Lily. Let me in, tell me everything. Stop shutting me out," Nick pleaded. The plea only fueled her emotions more and she grabbed the half-empty bottle of vodka and hurled it, screaming, at the wall by Nick's head.

"It wasn't fair! You don't understand what it was like, lying there helpless while it took it away and left me here all by myself! That just because some idiot didn't want to go to jail for stealing seventy dollars, I lost the only part of you I had left! To live every single day, knowing I didn't know, until it was too late, that I wanted it! It was innocent," she screamed at him, tears brimming in her eyes.

"Lilia," he said quietly.

"Oh god, I killed Greg. I'm the reason that Greg died, I can't deny that. And I was given a second chance, you see, a second bloody chance at true love, and I killed it when I got too scared. And then," she paused, "I killed my baby."

"What?" Nick breathed.

"They can tell me all they want that it wasn't my fault, that I couldn't have done anything, but I'm the reason that it died. Because I didn't want it! I didn't want it until it was too late. I let it take it away, because I wanted to live," she yelled, turning away from him.

"What are you saying, Lilia?" he asked cautiously. She closed her eyes, the tears overflowing.

"I was the reason Greg died. I threw you away, my second chance. I caused the death of a completely innocent life. When I finally realize what I want, it's too late. You don't love me anymore. You moved on. There is nothing left for me," she answered calmly.

"I never said that I didn't love you." Quietly.

"Does it matter? You have Sasha." Bitterly.

"No I don't. She lied. I want honesty, not lies. I never loved her."

"And you don't love me. Have a nice life Nick, I think you finally got what you came for. I threw everything I had away, I stupidly sacrificed it all to something I didn't even know would take it all away from me. My life is nothing. Isn't that you what you wanted?" she asked.

"No. I just want the truth. Why did you leave me? What did I do that was so horrible that you couldn't stay with me anymore?" the pain was so apparent that it nearly broke Lilia's heart. Gasping, she turned back to him.

"I was scared," she whimpered, trembling.

"Scared of what? What did I do to make you so scared?" he asked desperately, stepping towards her.

"I was afraid that you would be like my father," she said, blinking another stream of tears down her cheeks.

"Why would you think that?" he asked tenderly. Praying for strength, Lilia knew that the time had come at long last.

"Scared that you'd leave me, just like he left my mother."

"Why, Lilia, why did you think that?" he asked, taking her hands.

"Because…because I was pregnant."

* * * *

Shock and confusion. A desperate need to think, to sort out the jumble of emotions that were in circulation within him. Nick dropped Lilia's hands and backed away. Blinking furiously.

"You were what?" he whispered.

"I couldn't tell you. Not with what happened, not with the chance of history repeating itself right in front of me. Your career, your goddamned image was right in front of me, glaring me in the face, mocking me. I couldn't take it all away from you. I just couldn't make you choose," she cried.

"So you chose for me." Lilia closed her eyes, tilted her head back and collected herself.

"I just couldn't bear the thought that you could be like him. I couldn't take the chance that you could hurt me like he hurt my mother. I had you on a fucking pedestal. You could do no wrong, you were so perfect and I loved you for it. I couldn't find out that you weren't perfect, that you were the same as someone I hated all my life. I just couldn't," she explained to him. He was reeling with it all.

"What happened to the baby?" he asked stonily.

"I lost it during the shooting." And it all made sense. Why they wouldn't reveal anything about her condition, the veil of sadness that seemed to surround her, from the doctors and nurses, and from Paul.

"Oh my god, this is just too much," he said, and he was gone.