Chapter 30: Looking Within


She had retreated to one of the sitting rooms, her favourite one. She stood against the giant picture window, over-looking the majestic land that Brickwood stood on. Her face was pressed against the glass, her hand caressing the glass as if could somehow transport into her the stillness and tranquillity that was behind the glass.

She heard footsteps behind her, and she did not want to turn around. She knew who would be there. She couldn't let him see her. Tears were streaming down her face, it would be too much of a blow to her dignity.

"Cairo." A flat statement, yet soft, not at all harsh, as she had expected. It dissolved her will, and she found herself asking the very question she didn't want to.

"Why did you have to say it Nick? Why? The one thing that you promised you would never say, the one thing you knew would hurt so much? Why did you have to say that you never loved me?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Because it's true, Kay," he said back. She turn to face him, feeling as though her world was collapsing around her. And yet, he continued.

"What we had was never just love. It was so much more than that. I feel so much for you, that it can't be trivialised by classifying it as just one emotion. It's so much more than love," he said.

* * * *

She stood outside the door, listening carefully. Let them argue all they wanted, the only important thing to her was Nick. She had to listen, to make sure that all her hard work would not go to waste. He couldn't possibly still want Cairo. He wanted her, and she had to listen. She had to be sure.

And then she heard it. The very words that stopped her heart. Whatever she did for him, it did not matter. The only thing that was important to him was Cairo. As her blood turned to ice, she turned and ran away. She had to teach them a lesson. She had to let them know that they couldn't play with her like that. No one would ever use her. For any reason.

* * * *

Cairo slapped him, as hard as she could, right across the face. It left a giant red blotch on his cheek. After he recovered, he seemed a little shocked.

"How dare you do that!" she screamed at him.

"Tell you the truth?" he yelled back.

"How dare you manipulate what you said, what you knew would be the hardest thing in the world for me to hear, a weapon that you used to rip me apart like that! You are no better than Brad," she screamed, backing away from him.

"I never used you, Kay. And I never lied to you. I never told you I loved you, and lied about it. There was just…more. I was so hurt, Kay. All those months, I had Meagan watching everything we did together, all the while there she was, telling me that I had to be careful. That I had to watch you with Brian, because you were too close. And the dreams…I saw what I saw, and after everything she was telling me, I felt like a fool," he said, grabbing her hands.

"And you are one, because you listened to her," Cairo said, trying to avoid his eyes. She couldn't resist the temptation, and before she knew it, she was gazing into their depth of colour. For the first time in so long, she felt a yearning that wanted to make her scream and rage and cry and laugh, all at once.

"I know. But with everything that she was saying, and then to see it…I had to hurt you. I had to get you back for what you had done. I had to make you leave, because I could never walk away," he said. Her eyes were welling with tears all over again, her lips trembling. She had waited so long to hear this, to know that it hadn't been a lie. Without warning, he pulled her into his arms, wrapping his arms tightly around her as if she'd try to run away. She couldn't; she was held prisoner by his eyes.

And, for the first time in ten months, she felt a feeling so familiar and yet, so foreign. It had been so long since she had felt him like that, since she felt as if by touching his skin, she could touch his soul. She was his, always and forever, and as he held her and wiped her tears away, she was reminded of the perfect happiness that she had known before their lives had been altered, to fit someone's sick idea of drama.


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