I've often wonder why it is that life's not fair. It's been a curiosity of mine for awhile, and this night just seemed to prove it all over again. Maybe it just isn't that life's unfair, it could be because life is a bitch with a poor sense of irony. Either way, I found myself wondering the same thing, all over again.

The party had been great, I guess. New Year's always seemed to me to be such a couples night, and parties were always the worse. Always talking about resolutions and their plans for the future. Together. Makes me want to vomit.

Perhaps I sound cynical. But for a twenty-year old realising just what kind of people fill my life, cynicism is allowed. The entertainment business is filled with beautiful people, and those beautiful people are (an 88% certainty) filled with nothing more than hot air. But I didn't realise this until I met HER.

Many guys talk about a HER in their lives. But my HER was everything to me for a very long time. My HER wasn't like all the other HERs out there. She was motivated, truthful, honest, and didn't play into the shallowness of the image. At least I thought so. We all make foolish mistakes in our youth, and HER was definitely mine. A mistake I never wanted to repeat.

So maybe I did make a resolution. I wanted out of the circle, out of the hotel-room after parties, where model wannabes and actual models roamed around, the "arm ornaments", and the constant fawning and shallow praise. I wanted (gasp! Dare I say it?) depth in my life. Nothing like HER.

I met her in the kitchen of Brian's place, scrubbing the front of her shirt with a dishtowel. I watched her dunk the towel into a glass of soda water, and continue scrubbing. And then she turned around.

My first thought can be described as nothing more than Wow. A vision of pale skin, deep red hair and huge, sparkling blue eyes. And the blue was like a peacock blue, but it gradually grew deeper as it neared the outer edge of the iris. They were huge eyes, and they were lit up, and framed by dark lashes despite the hair colour. I was entranced (so much for finding depth).

She noticed me staring at her and flushed a little. It created a beautiful affect, contrasting her pale skin to the bright red blotches now appearing around her face.

"Someone spilt red wine on me. White shirt, red wine…lots of soda water," she explained simply, revealing dimples. Feeling a little buzzed and not thinking rationally, thanks to the countless New Year's toasts since the ball dropped, I grew bold.

"In all honesty, you have to be the most beautiful person I have ever seen," I said decisively. She laughed. She laughed at my heartfelt honesty!! I was sure I was in love.

"That's a fine compliment if you believe in beauty. But I don't, but thanks anyway," she said, raising her eyebrows as she ducked out of the kitchen. Ego bruised by the unexpected reaction, and a little curious by the obvious oddity of the guest list, I followed her out of the room.

"That is quite refreshing. So tell me, what do you believe in?" I asked, catching up to her.

"Personality. Honesty. Romanticism and elegance and dare I say it? Passion," she said coyly, mocking a gasp of shock for her last answer.

"Is that all? Not much to believe it."

"And what do you believe in?" she demanded. I thought for a second about what she had answered.

"Love."

"We just can't seem to agree on anything this evening, now can we? It's all passion. I don't believe in love. Those that do have lived a surprisingly sheltered life. But, at least you are not predictable. I expected some lame answer like poetry or music," she said as we began to stroll towards the open balcony doors.

"But that's what's on the surface. If you look underneath it, they all have the same thing. Love, honesty…passion," I answered. She kind of did a double take.

"Seems I'm wrong. We can agree on something. I find you intriguing," she sighed.

"Intriguing? That cannot even begin to describe how I find you," I said.

* * * *

I woke up the next morning. It was very late in that morning. But the way my eyes reacted to the light when I opened them and the dull headache told me that I was beyond caring. It had been a late night. A wonderful night.

I was in a guestroom, still in Brian's house. I groaned and rolled over. The space next to me was empty. She was gone.

I sat up, head spinning at the sudden movement. We had talked for so long last night. Getting lost in another discussion about love and passion, she had kissed me suddenly, passionately, calling it an experiment to prove her point. One thing had led to another. Groaning again, I stood up, careful to be slow enough to let my head catch up with me.

I dressed carefully, as to not batter my hung over body. I made my way downstairs, hoping she'd be there.

"Nick! Wondering when you'd be up! Don't know if you met her last night, but Paige is here," Brian pounced on me as soon as I was off the last step.

"Paige?" I asked, drawing a blank.

"You know, my voice mail pen-pal. My best friend who moved Italy when we were ten. Anyway, she's back in the US and I want you to meet her. Paige!" he called.

"Oh, as in the Paige that you never stop talking about. Cool," I said, as I looked around searching for the women who had intrigued me so much. A couple people who had not made it home last night after the party were straggling around. But I didn't see her. So much for finding depth…

And then I spotted her unmistakable hair colour, walking towards me with Brian. My mind was fuzzy and it didn't grasp what was happening until it was too late.

"Nick, this is Paige. Paige, this is the other best friend," Brian introduced us. She looked at me for a second, then paled as she recognised me.

"You!" she exclaimed. I panicked, wondering what she was doing.

"You know each other?" Brian asked. I could tell that he was suspicious by our reactions to each other. I also knew informing him that his best friend from way back when and his current best friend had just spent a drunken night together, induced by a comparison between love and passion, would not go over well with him. Paige picked up on the same thing.

"He's the idiot I told you about, who spilt the wine on my shirt," she said, meeting my eyes, begging me to play along with it. Realising how it important it would be for Brian to never find out about last night, I played her game.

"If you hadn't have vomited on my shoes, that probably wouldn't have happened. The idea is to hold your alcohol, not throw it all up," I said. She glared at me.

"Paige, have too much to drink last night?" Brian asked, bemused.

"I'm not the one hung over Brian," she said sweetly. Brian shrugged and retreated into the kitchen. We both watched him, and as soon as he was out of sight, we both let out huge sighs of relief.

"Why didn't you tell me who you were?" I hissed quietly.

"Why didn't you tell me the same thing? Shit, what have we done? He will freak out if he ever finds out!"

"Not if but when darling. I don't keep secrets from Brian, or any of the guys for that matter. None, Paige. I have to tell him. Now, even," I said, determined.

"NO! You can't. Not after what happened last time, okay? Trust me," she pleaded.

"Paige! Come on girlie, I have coffee with your name on it," Brian called out.

"Please Nick. Don't tell him," she pleaded. I felt my resolve break under the scrutiny of those beautiful eyes.

"Okay. But this isn't over Paige," I warned. She turned and walked into the kitchen and I followed.

Having coffee with Brian and Paige was one of the most awkward moments of my life. I couldn't look at Brian. And I couldn't stop looking at Paige. The girl I met last night seems to have disappeared completely. The serious, intellectual, quiet person was replaced by an overbearing loud mouth, funny, bubbly kind of person. It was such a change, it left me speechless.

"Well," I said, having survived enough torture, "I should head home."

"Sure, see ya later Nick. Meeting Wednesday," Brian reminded me.

"Nice meeting you Nick," Paige said, shaking my hand. I felt her press a piece of paper into my hands as she let go. Her eyes widened and she nodded slightly. I took the paper and quickly slipped it into my pocket. I walked out of Brian's house and sat down in my car. The note stated the obvious need for discussion between us, and gave a time and a place. Man, I couldn't help thinking; I am playing with fire.

So much for my resolution to find depth. So far, all I had found was trouble.