If you're a smart shopper, you're probably saying to yourself, "Marilyn Manson Enterprises certainly has a lot to offer, but what do comparable agencies have in terms of Marilyn Manson imitators?" This is a brutally competitive field, but we feel that you will find our company vastly superior to all other such services out there. A simple look at the difference between our own Marilyn Manson Impersonator and the cheap mimicry produced by the competition should be enough to convince you that we offer the superior product:
While the Marilyn Manson Impersonator is quite obviously a much more realistic representation of the real artist, more evidence shall be presented about our competition to relieve you of any ideas you might have about choosing another company over Marilyn Manson Enterprises.
What we offer:
Marilyn Manson Impersonator - a name you respect and trust.
Reliability. People know they can depend upon Marilyn Manson Enterprises.
Value. Marilyn Manson Impersonator gives the best performance for your dollar, guaranteed.
Entertainment. Only Marilyn Manson himself can outperform the Marilyn Manson Impersonator.
Music. All performances by M.M.I. are filled with spectacular tributes to songs written by Marilyn Manson.
Quality. M.M.I. goes to the greatest lengths to fully reproduce everything about Marilyn Manson that you love - appearance, demeanor, attitude, and performance.
Enthusiasm. Nobody loves his job more than the Marilyn Manson Impersonator, and it shows in everything he does. Most find his vigor positively infectious.
Accessibility. Only M.M.I. will perform at any time, any place - regardless of distance or remoteness.
No-Risk Policy. Customers of Marilyn Manson Enterprises risk nothing by enlisting the services of M.M.I. If you are unsatisfied with the performance that you receive, you pay nothing.
Everlasting Memories. All Marilyn Manson Impersonator performances are videotaped for posterity. There's no better way to relive your own special M.M.I. show than with a personal recording of the performance.
Party Favors. All M.M.I. shows include not only a standard autograph session following the performance, but also a patented treat pack personally distributed to each guest by the Marilyn Manson Impersonator. No other company can truthfully make this claim.
What they offer:
Obscurity. With other such companies, there's no telling what kind of performance you'll get from the name alone. Only Marilyn Manson Enterprises can offer a world-reknowned name and top-quality services.
Uncertainty. Unestablished companies, like our competition, cannot make any positive guarantees about their shows.
Exorbitant Prices. Why pay more money for lower-budget entertainment? Only the Marilyn Manson Impersonator can give you the best show for your money - and at a lower price than the competition.
Insipid Performances. Dull, dull, dull. Don't waste your hard-earned money on such poor excuses for entertainment.
Displeasing Cacophony. Not only do our competitors sound nothing like Marilyn Manson musically, they do not even sound good enough to play in your standard garage band. Please do not subject yourself to such aural torture; choose the superior artist.
Lackluster Productions. Our competitors are only in this business for the money and it shows in their performances. Go for the company that cares - Marilyn Manson Enterprises.
Inconvenience. Other companies ask you to work around their schedule. Marilyn Manson Enterprises accomodates all requests, no matter how eccentric.
No Guarantees. None of our competitors have the No Risk Policy that we employ. They will more than likely take your money and run, regardless of whether their impersonators even show up for the production.
Shoddy Video Recordings. Those of our competitors that have come up with the novel idea of copying us by videotaping their shows have all done substandard jobs. Only Marilyn Manson Enterprises makes use of the finest video recording equipment and hires top editors for post-production work.
No Party Favors. This is self-explanatory.
Would you want this kind of entertainment at your next party?
