Sir Robbie
Loewith
Rank: Drunken
stableboy
Date: December
1998
Embibement: 1
gin/tonic, 6 red wine, 1 cognac, 1 whiskey
Distance: 4 ft.
Consistency:
Frozen
Last words: "Bwaah."
Score: 3.0 (on
a 4-point scale)
Comments: Not
bad for an amateur. Witnessed by Tima and the cats.
Sir Tim
1
Rank: Ye olde
serving wench.
Date: 20 February
1999
Embibement: 5
beerz.
Distance: 2 ft.
Consistency:
Ichibany.
Last words: "Bwaah.
So that's what a tapeworm looks like."
Score: 1.9
Comments: An
embarrassing initiation to the league of knights.
2
Rank: Promoted
to middleweight squire.
Date: 26 February
1998
Embibement: 2
Dr. Peppers, 4 beer, 3 Vodka slimes.
Distance: 4 ft.
Consistency:
Dr. Peppery.
Last words: "Bwaah.
I can't believe this"
Score: 2.9
Comments: Marking
a visible trail throughout Whyte ave. (Edmonton) to
Karl's kitchen sink.
Sir Paul
[only
wadah] Bonnefin
Current rank:
Class 3 Mage.
Paul Bonnefin's bawfy
guide to freaky Friday nights at the bar.
Paul barfs so much,
we gave him his own page.
Sir Michelle
Scott
Rank: The royal
grouch.
Date: December
1999
Embibement: Stuff.
Pombe sunrise.
Distance: 1 ft..
Consistency:
Hydrochloric acidy with pepsin.
Last words: "Bwhee."
Score: 2.0
Comments: Not
much is known of the adventures of Sir Michelle.
Ingested a spaghetti
snack after coronation.
Sir
Michelle, and the former
royal grouch.
Quoth Sir Michelle:
"Smurfette is not a slut!"
Sir Jiapeng
Xue.
Rank: Scottish
schoolgirl.
Date: 28 March
2000
Embibement: 3
Drinks.
Distance: From
bowl rim to watery depths, ~10 inches.
Consistency:
beery.
Last words: BAWHEEEEEAAAAAAAAAKKKK.
Score: 2.5
Comments: Yes,
those drinks did have alcohol in them.
(And it was all Bhupinder's
fault).
Sir Kara
Lee Norman
Rank: Backstreet
mistress.
Date: February
2000
Embibement: Caesars.
Distance: From
mouth to a box of Duncan's lingerie receipts..
Consistency:
Caesary.
Last words: "RheeBOk."
Score: 3.7
Comments: Next
audit Duncan receives from
revenue Canada will
be great fun.
Sir Kara hanging with
the band.
Sir Adrian
Box.
Rank: The royal
catapault.
Date: Fernie
ski weekend, March 2000.
Embibement: Crown
royal.
Distance: Mouth
to Peter's pants.
Consistency:
Brown.
Quote: "42%
INK4a tumor supressor. 16."
Score: 4.0
Comments: Ouch.
All fun and games until Peter gets his pants dirty
(and someone winds
up in the hospital).
Sir
Box.
Sir Richard
Woo.
Rank: His majesty's
sushi chef.
Date: Kananaskis
weekend, May 2000.
Embibement: Rotten
prune juice, or so it seems.
Distance: Mouth
to sink.
Consistency:
Unappetizing.
Quote: "I'm donating
all my alcohol to charity
(never drinking again)."
Score: 3.5
Comments: Yummy.
Before...
Sir Philip
Berardi
Rank: Cougar hunter.
Date: Oncology
retreat weekend, May 2000.
Embibement: Beers,
martinis, liquid courage.
Distance: unknown.
Consistency:
unknown.
Quote: "Bak."
Score: 3.7
Comments: Teehee.
Sir Phillip on safari.
Sir Peter
Krein [game]
Rank: The medieval
@sswhipper.
Date: May 1999
(?)
Embibement: Beer,
antifreeze, turpentine
Distance: 6 ft.
to the icy floor at the keg.
Consistency:
Militant, yet flowing.
Last words: "It's
not oatmeal."
Score: 3.7 (on
a 4-point scale)
Comments: No
witnesses.
"Hi mom!"
Sir Francois-Michel
Boisvert
Rank: French.
Date: February
1999 (?)
Embibement: Hard
to say.
Distance: 5 ft.
Consistency:
A toxic mash of steaming death and spaghetti.
Last words: "Merde,
mon dieu."
Score: 3.0 (on
a 4-point scale)
Comments: ...and
you call yourself a class 5 thief?
A level 4 dungeonmistress
could barf better than that.
"He's gonna blow!"
Sir Rebecca
Nelson
Rank: Level 3
ninja.
Date: 8 July
2000
Embibement: Birthday
drinks.
Distance: ?
Consistency:
A delectable blend of sushi-maki, grilled shrip,
and soggy cocktail
napkins.
Last words: "Clean
that up, Eric."
Score: 3.8 (on
a 4-point scale)
Comments: A nice,
all-round classy birthday refund.
Sir Laina
[Lolaino] Knorr
Rank: The Duchess
of Wellington
Date: 5 August
2000
Embibement: Double
rye/cokes.
Distance: ?
Consistency:
Gastric acid, pepsin... and a couple cigarettes in there.
Last words: "I
think I need a ride home."
Score: 3.5 (on
a 4-point scale)
Comments: It
was believed that Sir Laina would never reach knighthood.
Long live the Duke
of Wellington (the Lethbridge pub at which Sir Laina
was coronated).
Sorry, picture unavailable
at present time.
Sir Tim(mer)
Rank: Promoted
to adolescent ragamuffin.
Date: 16 September
2000
Embibement: A
ton of stuff, including a 1/2 gallon of gasoline.
Distance: Mouth
to the mattress, thank goodness for plastic mattresses.
Consistency:
? Everything looks the same when your vision is that blurred.
Last words: "I
think I lost my pancreas."
Score: 3.8
Comments: Bragg
Creek Departmental retreat.
With Ryan and Alice
sleeping in the room
when this happened,
it is hard to believe that no one suspected anything.
What talent it took
to clean up the mess and air out the room before morning.
Sir Peter
[tp bungholio] Lewkonia
Rank: Yo daddy.
Date: 1 January
2001
Embibement: Yo
daddy.
Distance: ?.
Consistency:
Lipsticky.
Last words: "I'll
have my dad riding me all weekend."
Score: 3.2
Comments: New
Year'z fun.
More fun than watching
When
Harry met Sally (the PG14 version).
Crouching Peter, Hidden
Toilet.
Now playing @ selected
bathrooms, check Sir Peter for listings.
Sir Duncan
Browman
Rank: The royal
beefcake.
Date: 1 March 2001
Embibement: Moose water,
beer.
Distance: Difficult
to estimate, it was like a water sprinkler..
Consistency: Yeh.
Last words: "Garf."
Score: 3.0
Comments: Sir Duncan's
abs get a workout.
A respectable one-pack
is well on its way.
In the Calgary yellowpages
under "Discount Dating."
Sir Brad
Thomas
Rank: Royal HardCORE.
Date: July 2001
Embibement: Essence
of Sir Duncan (?), gasohol.
Distance: Gravity
pulls things down.
Consistency:
Yicky.
Last words: "Tasty."
Score:
3.7
Comments: Unable
to pass out in the alley dumpster on his own,
he gets a little help
from Jen[niflower].
"Eye yam what eye yam."
(Sir Brad's pop-eye
impression above).
___________________________
Please
aid in our search for more Knights of the round bowl.
Submit
legends of other round bowl crusaders (and pictures) to
Sir Tim
(tyhuang@ucalgary.ca).
Interested
in becoming a member?
Drink
two cases of whiskey, chase with a glass of turpentine
and submit
an email to the address above with a $20 application fee.
Your
membership will be reviewed and you may be required to audition in a G-string.
___________________________
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to the Biochemistry/Molecular
Biology
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