JACKASS OF THE WEEK
OK, this page is dedicated to that special someone who touches our hearts each and every week and make us glad that we are not them. We update this page every Wednesday, so look for a new one then. If you have any suggestions for "Jackass Of The Week", e-mail us and let us know who. Hey isn't that your name on there?
I would also like to clear something up right here and now as well... The "Jackass of the Week" is nothing but a joke, meant quite light-heartedly. That is why 3/4ths of our band is on here! Including myself! Most everyone, that we know anyway, on here asks me to put them on here. And they are always our friends (unless we say otherwise, which has to date never happened). So to everyone who enjoys the Jackass of the Week, much props, and thank you very much. I'm glad you have a sense of humor. To everyone who gives us shit for it, again, remember it's just a joke....Now on to that bitch Matt...hehe
Week 11: 5-5-99
Sorry this was put off for so long. I've been realy busy, and Jeff seems to the site quite a bit....anyway due to several anonomous requests, Mr. Matthew DeLuca has found himself as this weeks Jackass!
1.) Well, I guess first and foremost (because I cant find anywhere else to start), he's in a band called 20 Inch Long. He plays bass for them and his isn't even close to 20 inches from what the ladies tell me. From what I hear, divide that by 10...(j/k Matt!).
2.) From an anonomous source..."He's got a Franklin Hemphill haircut". Hemphill?
3.) Oh yeah, he's punk rock.
4.) He tried to jump Doug (Chewie)(click here), at our show when he was practically blinded and immobile in his Chewbacca suit. And he says he was serious too. Ok Matt...
5.) He's got hoes galore. And not regular hoes either. If you're asking "Hey, why's that make him a jackass?", well hear me out. He's got enough hoes to make him a Jackass. And well more than enough at that, apparently. Although I dont't actually see him that often, he does have a new ho evertime I see him. It's like an endless supply. Hey, if you claim sXe, arent you not supposed to have all these hoes? Oh well, I'm NOT sXe, and I DON'T have hoes, so who's the bigger Jackass...
6.) Anonnomous source "On stage, he talks for long periods of time with their drummer, Kyle in the middle of a song. 'So how bout this weather, Kyle'".
7.) The other day, and this goes for all of 20 Inch Long, at thier most recent show at Zelda's, this guy kept yelling out "Ace of Base!", probably on account of alcohol, and after thier set was over, they played a ska'd up version of "The Sign" with Their singer on guitar, their guitarist on vocals, and Matt? You guessed it. Yakking it up with Kyle. "So Kyle uhh, were playing this Ace of Base horseshit..."
8.) He's got a work shirt that says "Percy" on the name. Ooooohh, my name is Percy, and I love to pick posies in the spring time...
9.) He is a sacker at a grocery store. Belden's to be exact. That seems like a pretty legit reason. But then again, I am now jobless so...
10.) At their last show, Matt wore an "Eagleton-Barrey Family Reunion" shirt. Not only that, but That's not his family!
Matt Deluca, we have now officially paid our dues to you, and sufficiently gotten our revenge. Hehe. You are forgiven...
Click here to visit the Jackass Archive, and see who we thought used to be a Jackass. (Don't worry, you probably still are).
