how could it happen right in your own backyard? that stuff doesn't happen right in your own backyard. i couldn't believe it when i heard it, couldn't believe that word. i didn't want to hear it-is that so absurd? i'm so glad you didn't blow me off. it's not a joke. i wish i could had been there to stop that fateful day, he stole something that could never be replaced.

beginning of the end

i sit here and think and what do i see? a whole lot of anger boiling up inside of me. the reason i hide i cannot find. why do you pretend you know what's going on? you have no clue who i really am. don't try to be something that you're not. do you even know yourself, who you are? do you know anything at all? why try to be something that you're not? that's the beginning of the end.

schmuck

just as i began to get older you walked out and left me without my father. the funny thing is you'll never get to see just how smart and clever i can be. and i don't care much about you anymore. and i don't care what the fuck you have to say for yourself it wouldn't matter anyway. i'm not looking back, not twice in your direction. all you have to do is ask i'm not stuck back in the past. the hatred it never goes away.

just listen

nothing's wrong, everything's right! never have a problem, never uptight. never a worry, never a care, why does it seem you're only half there? i stare at you, you stare right back. i get the feeling that you're just about to crack. but you won't let it no today is not your day, i wish you'd just listen to what i have to say.

not really a variable

just yesterday was the best day of my life. this girl lying by me-fed up with the spite being thrown from all directions. i could never be so lucky, or so happy-this could never happen to me! but she set me free the way she said it had to be. so please explain the things i see cause they are not right-malicious adversity in my face. and i am not afraid but she is it seems and now we are forced to meet up in my dreams. i know everything will be o.k.-but nothing hurts more than just walking away. i know one thing's for sure, that my eyes can surely see-i know that i love her and i know that she loves me! and i'm sorry to say if you don't like things that way, but that's one thing that'll never ever change.

closure

you know i never knew i could have so much frustration. and no matter how hard i try, i can't seem to figure out this equation. you plus me equals feelings so happy, that's not the way things are supposed to be. my mind is full of confusion-is it all an illusion? i can't come to the conclusion. this also helps me realize, perhaps even sympathize...i'm trying to see through your eyes.

7-10

seems like it couldn't get any worse, so much had just gone wrong. those were the worst words she could have ever said to me. feels like my mind is in a state of anarchy, not knowing what to do. do i just forget and just ignore her? do i live like i had, before her? those don't seem like the right choices, all i hear are those voices asking me, what will it be?

song #3

because of this scenario it feels like i'm burning inside. it's not all anger though-i just want to run and hide. this is just the way it has to be without a very good outlook, where it'll go we'll have to wait and see don't make me out to be a crook. what is it that's happening here? all you have to do is take the first step. take a look look in the mirror, all of those secrets should be kept. i really wanted to go far there's still a chance things get better. i don't solve things by going to a bar that's why i wrote this letter.

oh well

how stupid is it that i would let myself get so upset over someone i had just barely met? you'd think that i should know by now and i should have already figured you out-just wait just wait just wait and see-i guess the joke's on me. hi, how are you? how have you been? when will i see you again? it doesn't matter anymore you're not the same as you were before so i'll stop complaining now. sometimes i wish we never met but how could i ever forget the times i had with you? good memories outweigh the bad and the most fun i ever had would have to be with you.

family values

do as i say, not as i do. that is the perfect fucking motto for you. the fucking nerve to put your finger in my face, you're such a hipocrite, such a disgrace. the irony's so unbelievable. i guess some people are so deceivable. to me your low so unachievable, but now that low so fucking believable. speak your mind and tell me what to do-i'm not here to judge or i'd be just like you. you're one to talk you're one to preach-but save your breath i don't need your speech.

second chance(ruben wrote these!)

this time i'm gonna get it right, not gonna screw it up, or give in without a fight. i've made mistakes before that i wish i never had, but now i've learned my lesson and walked away a better man. i won't cry if something doesn't go my way-that's the way life goes, it happens every single day! i've been through it all before and i'm not gonna take it anymore. i'll prove to myself i won't fall back into that trap. it was different then it won't happen again, i've been through it all before.

punk rock girl

punk rock girl won't you walk my way? punk rock girl won't you make my day? punk rock girl is that really you? punk rock girl i have no clue. i used to think that you were the coolest, now i see that i was just clueless. now's the time to ask you one question-why'd you cut your hair?

roll with the punches

i sit up late at night, i can't stop myself from wondering why you don't want to tell the world that you want to be all mine. nothing seems fair, or was i just completely unaware of a little game, an adventurous fling? it's like my life's unraveling. i wish i could stop the feelings and put a halt to my emotions. i wish i could say i didn't care-but that's not fair it won't get us anywhere.

only one

i watch you walk across the room i know i never say that i love you. to me it doesn't seem like that much but to you it says i'm out of touch. the girl of my dreams or so it may seem wants no part of me. there's more than one fish in the sea, i know that's what they all will tell me. i wish she'd open up her eyes and see that she's the only one for me.

snapshot

came across some pictures yesterday, reminded me of times i left behind so long ago. i wish i could go back, back to those carefree times of yesterday, it's carefree now but it doesn't seem the same. things seemed so simple back then.wishing that i could go back occupies my time and wastes my mind away.

yearbook

it's been a long two years i often wonder why we're still here. it's weird how time can disappear as if no time has gone by but it's still been a whole two years. then when we take a look it's a little like my high school yearbook. a documentation of my feelings written mostly while i was staring at the ceiling.

am i stupid?

i've gotta stop myself from entertaining notions. notions of memories i can barely see, memories of myself so happy. i've gotta stop myself from dwelling in the past some said that things between us wouldn't last and it looks as if they're right. so let it go i'll let it go. there'll be one way better that's something we all know. she doesn't deserve you all she does is hurt you it's like days of our lives you know and i'm so sick of this episode.

g.f.y.s written by josh!

what big teeth you have, what big claws. rage against the machine, until the money shows your flaws. just another suit, in t-shirt and jeans, your wall street journal is peeking out from behind your fanzines. i'm sorry we had to see this perverse other face. sorry we had to leave such a fucking bad taste.