limericks at proggy's place

Limericks and Poetry

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A born-to-lose gambler named Biff,
In frustration drove off a steep cliff,
But no sooner twas done,
Than his lotto card won,
You could call him a real lucky stiff.

It takes a mixture
of bitter and sweet
To season our lives
and make them complete
The more you love,
the more you'll find
That life is good
and friends are kind,
For only what we give away
Enriches us from day to day.
{Helen Steiner Rice}

A nearsighted hunter named Jack,
With binoculars hanging in back,
Spied a shape in the trees,
That made his blood freeze,
Till it flew in his face and went "Quack".

Showing the World
If you've a song, try it.
If you've a tear, dry it.
If you've a cross, bear it.
If you've a joy, share it.
When hope grows faint, brace it.
When trouble comes, face it.
When there's a wrong, right it.
When life if grim, fight it.
If you've a hand, give it.
If you've a creed, live it.
If you've a faith, show it -
and let the world know it.
{Patience Strong.}

A big woolly dog named Lee,
Had a host of friends to see,
So he paced the street,
On all four feet,
But visited mainly on three.

While You're Waiting
While you're waiting for tomorrow
get the best out of today.
While you're waiting for the sunshine
don't complain at skies of grey.
While you wait for the future pleasures
don't forget the ones you've had.
Call to mind the things enjoyed,
the happy hours and not the sad.
While you're waiting for the
granting of the wish you hold most dear -
don't lose sight of all the joys
that life can offer now and here.
Times of waiting can be fruitful
and to you much good can bring.
Make the winter yield a blessing
while you're waiting for the spring.
{Patience Strong.}

Kind words are so easy to give,
and yet make the world such a nice place to live.
Kind thoughts may be little things,
but they lift the heart on happy wings.

Digger, our cat is not very good.
He will not behave as a good cat should.
He sleeps all the day and has oher bad habits.
He eats litle chickens and blue tongues and rabbits.
He fights with the dogs and stays out all night.
Dad says "he'll get shot - and serve him right".

You don't need wealth or high renown to make a body smile,
to warm her heart and banish aches and loneliness awhile.
Just lift the latch and, smiling,
say - "Now, Granny, how are you today?"

It takes courage to love because love involves
the risk of being hurt or disappointed.
To love is to suffer with those we love,
to feel their failures, their mistakes and their pain.
To love is to feel the anguish of the poor and the
dispossessed and to seek remedies for their plight.
Only the courageous dare to love.
Marie R Busch

The first word of an infant,
the last word of the brave,
there's no better friend than Mother,
from the cradle to the grave.

What is a friend?

A friend is a person of great understanding
Who shares all our hopes and schemes,
A companion who listens with infinate patience
To all of our plans and our dreams;
A true friend can make all our cares melt away
With the touch of a hand or smile,
And with calm assurance make everything brighter,
And life always seem more worthwhile -
A friend shares so many bright moments of laughter
At even the tinest thing -
What memorable hours of light-hearted gladness
And pleasure this sharing can bring!
A friend is a cherished and percious possession
Who knows all our hopes and our fears,
And someone to treasure deep down in our hearts
With a closeness that grows through the years.

First is Best
I pour myself a cup of tea,
And how delicious it can be.
So nice, in fact, I'll have another,
It really helps me to recover.
But never, ever can I pour,
A second like the one before.

M oonlight
O ver
O ur
N ight
B eaming
E ndlessly
A t
M e

Alesha Rogers (1990) Motueka, NZ

I wooed a stewed nude in Bermuda
I was rude, but my God! she was ruder.
She said it was crude
To be wooed in the nude.
I pursued her, subdued her, and screwed her.

There was a young lady of Dover
Whose passion was such that it drove her
To cry when she came,
"Oh dear, what a shame!
Well now we just have to start over."

There was an old man of Decatur
Who took out his trouser potater.
He tried at her dent
But when his thing bent,
He got down on his knees and he ate 'er.

A jaded young man from Darjeeling
Had a tool that reached up to the ceiling.
In the electric light socket
He'd stick it and rock it,
My word! What a wonderful feeling!

There was a young man of Australia
Who painted his arse like a dahlia.
The drawing was fine,
The colour divine,
But the scent - alas - was a failure.

An insatiable lady from Spain,
Had multiple sex on the brain.
She liked it again,
And again, and again,
And again, and again, and again.

There was a young fellow called Price
Who dabbled in all sorts of vice.
He loved virgins and boys
And mechanical toys,
And on Mondays he meddled with mice.

Sunshine In Winter
Welcome is the sun in Winter,
Lovely are those beams of gold.
Breaking through the heavy cloud,
When trees are bare and winds are cold.
:Patience Strong

I'll add more as time permits.
Have fun as you wander on your merry way.