We join our adventurous interviewers as they pull The Desk down a street with several foot-shaped holes in it. Or, to be more accurate, we join Electra dragging The Desk with Zippy on top of it while Aurora walks behind it, in case the rope breaks.
Zippy: What a dump!
Electra: *yelps in surprise as The Desk suddenly refuses to budge* What the-?
Aurora: *looking down at one of The Desk's legs* I'm afraid one of the legs is stuck in a hole.
Electra: *groans and mutters* It's a safety hazard having all these holes in the street.
Just as she is about to help Aurora lift The Desk's leg out of the hole, a smarmy voice speaks up from nearby. A weird photo realistic-looking bat creature in a super pig costume approaches.
Die Fledermaus: *grinning* Hey there, what brings two anthropomorphized babes like yourselves to my little corner of the universe?
Aurora and Electra in unison: *look up* Huh?
Die Fledermaus: *sidles up to them* Is it hot in this city, or is it just you?
Aurora: *raises an eyebrow at him and frowns slightly* I'm married.
Die Fledermaus: *without missing a beat, leans against The Desk and turns his attention solely on Electra* You know, I find big hair a major turn on. *growls flirtatiously*
Electra: *quickly* It's a wig! I'm really bald!
Die Fledermaus: Ooh, kinky.
Electra: *half horrified, half disgusted* Um... *sly look crosses her face* Is that costume of your's by any chance...rubber?
Die Fledermaus: Why no, I wouldn't be caught dead in synthetic's. It's 100 percent- *Electra laughs maliciously* Why are you staring at me like that? Hey babe, is that a lightning bolt in your finger or are you just happy to see me?
Electra: *points a glowing index finger at him and quickly electrocutes him* Lightning bolt.
Die Fledermaus: *before passing out* Aggressive, I like that in a woman. *falls to the ground*
Electra: *glances over at Aurora* Since when are you married?
A combination of beakless, hairless, monkey mutants and Canardians cross by, seemingly unaware or unaffected by each others' presence. They stand at the stoop of a cruddy looking apartment house that looks more like a bad hotel. A fluorescent sign flashes. "Justice Heights: Vacanc_". The Y is burnt out.
Zippy: Ooh, these creepy monkey things are kinda scary.
Out of the door of the apartment building comes a seven-foot tall bald dragon, with a step ladder.
Draqonelle: I just fixed that stupid sign… *sees Die Fledermaus sprawled on the ground unconscious and doesn't skip a beat* Oh great Die's unconscious … You've been talking to a woman again, haven't you?
Die Fledermaus: *singing woozily* Daring Duck of Mystery, champion of *he falls back on the ground*
Draqonelle: *sighs* At least this time she didn't beat you down with her walkman.
Zippy: *cheers* Draqy! *rushes forward and latches onto Draq's ankle* Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease can we interview you?!
Draqonelle: Oh no, I heard what you did to the Voice. I got work to do. I gotta fix that Window in Apartment 201, drive Die Fledermaus to the Intensive Care Unit, get some Cous Cous at Ahyuck's Medditeranean Market Place, go get lunch at the Marco Polo…
LL (The Great Auteur and Insecure Demiurge): Draqonelle. You submit to the will of my friends or suffer a horrid fate.
Draqonelle: But LL… I'm busy.
The Auteur: I'll make you fall in love with Die Fledermaus.
Draqonelle: AAAAAAAAAH! Don't even kid about that. Have mercy great Auteur. All right I'll submit to your will. And, not that I'm criticizing you oh great Auteur, but shouldn't this interview be the slightest bit Darkwing related? *a big huge spray of cartoon seltzer water hits Draqonelle, before she speaks again*
LL: Anyone else want to fall in love? Electra, a few sentences in parentheses and I can bring Megavolt here. How about it? (*Megavolt's head appears in the sky*) Morgana McCawber's got nothing on the power of parentheses.
Megavolt: Oh crap. It's that crazy LL again. Stop it.
Electra: *bites her lip thoughtfully* Very tempting...
Aurora: *clears her throat loudly* A-hem? If we could continue?
Electra: *sighs wistfully* Oh alright. *sits down on The Desk and addresses Draqonelle* How did you come up with so many awesome characters?
Draqonelle: How else am I going to write? Seriously hmm. The great thing about fanfiction is that it is, in essence, based on the characters there. It's not copying or stealing, it is expanding outside of the dimensions of the original characters in the series, filling them in, discovering their secrets, stuff like that. I always work best in this kind of writing. Darkwing has provided an inexhaustable amount of potential in character development and dramatic narrative, because of the standards it was playing off of. It's borrowing and adapting themes from Batman, from Looney Tunes, from all kinds of disparaging forces.
Draqonelle: The easiest way to think up a fanfic is what haven't I seen that I know should be there. Like for my Canaradberg fic, I wanted to see Steelbeak meet NegaSteelbeak. The reason they probably never did anything like this on the show is because the humor in this situation wasn't obvious. So I set to create a situation where it would be feasible and defined who NegaSteelbeak would be. He became Derek, a revolutionary resistance fighter, and the story took off from there. It became more than just a simple Negaverse fic but the basis for a whole new universe I guess.
Draqonelle: As for original characters, most of them aren't original. They are me. Or the stranger parts of me. Draq's carelessness and well-read demeanor is me, Gingko Biloba's desperate insecurity, rabid mania and sweet disposition is me, Buddy's overblown sense of the dramatic, Vincent's arrogance.
Then there is stuff like the Liquidator fiction. I've read two or three Liquidator fanfics in my short life. So I set out to fill him out, explore his character. What was his perspective of what happened to him? What was his back story? What is his childhood like? Sometimes I joke and say I chose the Liquidator just for the challenge.
Of course, whenever you write with someone, the experience in which you write them changes them. My Steelbeak is much different from Lauderdale's or Serena's or Gabe's. They occupy the same universe, but I have a unique pattern for him. And I have a very different future in mind for him than most. If I wrote a fic where Steelbeak repented his evil ways, I might get a lot of flack, but I could do it. In fan fic, it is acceptable and, in fact, the norm. With my original characters I would never see how Steelbeak is viewed by other people.
The weird thing is most of the characters I write with are established Disney characters, or their Nega components. Like I'm writing an R fic about the McDuck Triplets in St. Canard, or my stories involving Kit Cloudkicker. It's filling out and emphasizing, it's quite cool I think.
Zippy: Well, personally, I would have decribed what you're writing as "spiffarific," but that's just me.
Electra: *rolls her eyes at Zippy before continuing* How did you come up with names for your characters?
Draqonelle: Well my name, Draqonelle, is a less interesting story. The Dragon of LL.
But Gingko Biloba's name story is a hoot.
Her first name was Hangnail (Darkwing still calls her that).
I wanted a really stereotypical ninja name. Now in RL my grandmother's name is Bong Op Lee. So when people were giving me name ideas like Bong Dalong and Duk-Ling, it was not cool. So I looked for the names of things. I always knew that her real last name was going to be Pedicure. So I added her name Annie Pedicure. After my favorite love song Annie's Song (which will play an important part in the Wishing Well series).
Well one too many trips to the college snack bar got me looking at the new Snapple line. I was getting my favorite one Fire, with Dragon fruit juice. The label said "Gingko Biloba."
The name just stuck in my head. I began singing it to the Tune of "Johnny One Note"
"Gingko Biloba, she's gonna get ya she thinks she so very dark…but Gingko is scared in the park (on and on ad naseum for several nonsensical verses which I refuse to write down, except for Lobster Biloba)
And then of course I was watching Tatewaki Kuno on Ranma ˝. So I gave her that long self-title to make her sound stupid.
"Night Mistress of the The Mysterious Night." Such beautiful assonance and alliteration. It's fun to say. I sometimes shout it in a funny accent when I am frustrated. "Gingko Biloba, Night Mistress of the Mysterious Night!" "Gingko Biloba, Night Mistress of the Mysterious Night!""Gingko Biloba, Night Mistress of the Mysterious Night!"
Sorry, I get carried away.
I am also a species namer. My fanfic is peopled with Jackswans, Grenouilles, Kitsunehs, Swansons, Currs, Quayles, De Hens, Henningways, Lizardivitches, Haddockumms, Gullieres (even though Genie Gulliere is a doberman pinscher). It is lame I know. But a fun way to learn a million different names for animals.
Electra: *shakes her head* It's not lame at all. Actually, I usually use a thesaurus to name my characters. *thoughtfully* I never thought to spell it 'Quayle' though...
Aurora: *shrugs* What's done is done.
Electra: Eh, oh well.
Zippy: *suddenly grows very serious* And now, I will need your complete and total honesty for this next question.
Electra: *sighs in resignation* I don't see why you can't just let it go, Zip.
Zippy: *strikes a noble pose* Because, Ellie, it is my destiny to ask this question over and over until the day we find our way back to our own ficdom! *to Draqonelle* Do I look cuter as a lightbulb thing or as a duck?
Draqonelle: Ohh stay a lightbulb. I think the DW fandom is entirely to aviocentric. We need more lightbulbs and dragons and *tries to determine Electra's species* and you guys too.
Aurora: It is Darkwing Duck, after all.
Electra: *avoiding the subject of species* How long have you been a fan of the Darkwing Duck show?
Draqonelle: I am a born again Darkwing Fan. I started up again this fall really. I loved the Disney Afternoon. It was a huge part of my life those years. It was a very important thing to me. It seems fitting that now I'm starting on my own, I can come back to it, come to terms with my less than perfect childhood.
Electra: What inspired you to write that awesome 'Volt Fiction' fic? *chuckles* I've drooled over that parody many, many times.
Draqonelle: I have to thank the brilliant Matt Ploetcher's drawing for that. And The Lauderdale. (She really inspires me when it comes to my fan fic.) In this case she told me one did not exist so I had to write one on my own.
I always hated in cartoon parodies of that movie that they left out the cool parts. When the movie first came out, all you needed for a Pulp Fiction parody was a girl in a black bob and someone dressed like John Travolta. They really dumbed it down for all the kids whose parents wouldn't let them watch it.
Electra: *shakes her head in regret* Some of the best movies get ruined like that.
Draqonelle: But Pulp Fiction had so many cool things happening in it. That involved characterization, in medias res and the suspension of disbelief. That is what was cool about it. Not that dance sequence and the hamburger joke.
Besides, Esmerelda Villanova was one of my inspirations for Gingko Biloba.
Electra: Are your pictures mouse-drawn?
Zippy: *curiously* How the hoo-hah do you actually manage to get them to look like stuff? I can barely draw squiggles with my mouse!
Draqonelle: I've got a good touchpad mouse. It's operated by your fingers. It took me months to learn how to sketch on it. Most of my early stuff is pretty geometric or diagonal and crappy.
I love the mouse because you can add color to your sketches right away. I just add colors (I love finding the right colors for things. It is so much fun, and a lot easier than finding the right marker or paint.) The big difference is if I mess it up, and I have to erase, you don't see where I made the mistake.
The problem is with mouse-drawing you need a lot of practice, and really good eyesight. If one pixel isn't closed off properly the whole thing can be ruined. I once spent 2 hours working on a picture of Derek Boo and I filled in the whole thing with black. After I fixed it, the lines I used disappeared. I erased him accidentally. That is a problem you don't get with pencil and paper. Another fun thing. Learing how to use JPG fuzz is also fun. I've learned some cool effects for the Liquidator using jpegs instead of bit maps. He looks all misty sometimes and that is pretty neat.
But I like mouse drawing because you can put it straight on your computer to share, save versions, and my savior cut and paste. I've been trying to use a light pen, but I still just like using my old touchpad, you have much more control.
Zippy: Wh--
Aurora: *cuts Zippy off before she can start a discussion about various drawing styles* What inspired you to create Gingko Biloba and her whole schtick?
Draqonelle: Ahh Gingko Biloba, Night Mistress of the Mysterious Night. An enigma trapped in a riddle trapped in a neon pink cape. I have so much fun with her. She doesn't just have a distorted perception of reality, she's so crazy she makes her own reality. She's a powerful fighter and she's moronically lucky. If she wasn't a dog, I would think she and Darkwing were related.
From whence did she spring?
I wanted to make a character like "Red Claw" on Batman. She used to scare the corn out of me. A scary foreign brunette Russian ninja type, whose evil terrorist cult threatened the safety of the free world, with chemical warfare. *shiver* Darkwing hadn't ever come across anyone like that before (at least in the series). But to make things interesting I wanted her to be the exact opposite. She had the voice and the cool costume and the attitude, but none of the power. I got this idea for this black clad ninja type with long scary nails. (The nails Idea I got from the cab scene in Pulp Fiction, with Esmerelda.)
So I gave her a day job as a secretary. And who else but Steelbeak needed a secretary? I really love Steelbeak, but he didn't need a girlfriend. All cool spy types need a faithful platonic friend. Sam Spade had Evie Perrine, James Bond had Mrs. Monepenny. Steelbeak needed someone like that to show that the rooster wasn't all wolfhound. He is so sweet to Gingko, they are really more like brother and sister than anything.
There also was the lack of stupid, knobby, cute supervillainesses. Sure there were a few in the fandom. (Present company included.) Why do girl villains have to be so capable and serious? Sure there was Ammonia Pine and Isis Vanderchill, but they had no personality and, because they didn't fit the narrow standards of good looks, they became one joke wonders.
Gingko is a cutie (even though she is painfully thin). She is also a dog. I wanted more Canine super villains (I like drawing canine and fox creatures) Besides, the idea of a canine with a cat inferiority complex cracks me up.
It's gotten to the point where she almost writes herself, like she is her own person. I relate to her. She's angry, passionate, monstrously self deluded and surrounded by a whole bunch of guys who patronize her. And yet the only thing that shatters her impressive self-delusion is the love and affection she shares with her friends and of course Buddy. Nothing is more important than having good friends and people who care about you, not even being the Night Mistress of the Mysterious Night.
Zippy: *jumps up and down excitedly* Do you have anything in particular planned for the future? Can you give us any hints or anything?
Draqonelle: The day I don't have a fic planned is the day I'll move to Duckberg.
As for projects...
Hmm. Well I've been working on future one's stuff with Ka-Tessa. I've created a group called the Time Pirates, led by Don Justin Karnage (see what I mean about using old characters). But he's not much like the original Don Karnage at all. He's more like a Klingon Steelbeak. (By sheer coincidence he's Serena's great great yadadayada grandson, who is raised by her as Prince of Mars.) The Time Pirates include many crossover fan fic characters. It's PG-13 so far, it's kind of dark and angsty. I'm glad because I finally get to write with Frappucino Pedicure, he's the Lieutenant.
Aurora: Frappucino? The coffee drink? How could you write with that?
Draqonelle: No. The Liquidator's animus, the incarnation of his intellect.
Aurora: Gosh. I thought we were talking about coffee, now we're talking about Jung.
Zippy: *singing* You make me feel so Jung…
Aurora: *rolls her eyes* Carl Gustav Jung, a Swiss psychologist and psychiatrist.
Draqonelle: I still have to explain that don't I?
Aurora: *nods* I'm afraid so.
Draqonelle: I'm still not done with Wishing Well. The origin of the Coffee brothers is still in the works. After I write more about their parents. But I'll probably crank out a short fic about the Pedicures' search for a babysitter.
Aurora: *eyes crossing in confusion* Are we talking about Jungian archetype projections of the Liquidator's personality, coffee, or babysitting or manicures or…
Draqonelle: Well just because they are telegenic psychic projections doesn't mean they aren't four sweet little puppies, people will have to go to my page to see what I'm talking about.
Electra: Ugh, four Jungian archetype things made of liquid. Creepy. I don't think I'd want to babysit them.
Aurora: I need an aspirin.
(Aspirin appears as The Great Auteur wills it to in this statement.)
Aurora: You ever get creeped out by the fact that a raging moron has such magical power over your life?
Draqonelle: *breaks out of LL's control* Every day. One day I have fire powers, the next I have the power to read people's minds with a wet willie. LL is completely insane.
LL: Just for that... *a bucket falls on Draq's head*
Draqonelle: I'll behave. *starts speaking for LL again*
The weird thing about Buddy and Gingko Biloba is they don't change that much until I get up to the Coffee brother's fic. Anyone can write a Gingko Biloba fic. Which is scary.
The formula is quite simple:
Draq hates Licky, Gingko hates Steelie, Licky hates Steelie, Draq likes Gingko, Gingko likes Draq, Steelie likes Gingko. Buddy loves Gingko. Does Gingko love Buddy? Steelie is oblivious, Gingko is oblivious. Happy ending the end. Got it.
Draqonelle: Well, I have a lot of other things in the works. Including various Canardberg fics (FOWL Part II) and of course, as you know, *pulls out megaphone* THE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN MEGAWATT AND QUACKER JACK!
*Zippy is knocked off The Desk by Draq's voice* This is all pending permission, of course. I like writing fan fics for my friends. It is going to star a lot of my friend's fanfic characters.
Zippy: *suddenly bursts into a fit of giggles* Evil lightbulb ankle monster! *giggles*
Electra: *smiles* We're all looking forward to seeing how those turn out. *glances down at Zippy and frowns slightly* Some more than others.
Draqonelle: *really amazed at all she has said* Wow that's a lot of junk. Boy I gotta get me a doppleganger to help me write all this uncrapppe. Oh, and I'm single handedly trying to change the meaning of the word crap. All while balancing plates on my nose.
Aurora: *thoughtfully* 'Uncrappe'...Hmm...
Zippy: *climbs back on top of The Desk* And now for the part of the interview that I love, Electra dislikes, and Aurora is indifferent to!
Electra: *grimaces* 'Dislike' is too tame a word. More like despise, dread, hate, and abhor.
Zippy: *giggles and twirls around in a circle cheerfully* To make up for all the stupidity we've put you through, you get to ask each of us a question! No matter how personal, embarrassing, or just plain silly it is, we'll answer it!
Draqonelle: *to Electra* Okay, if you were stuck all alone on a desert island with Megavolt…
Electra: *thinking to herself* Here it comes. Not another one of those desert island fantasy questions… Why do they always ask this?
Draqonelle: What music CD would you bring?
Electra: Is that all? *sighs in relief and wipes her forehead*
Zippy: Draq you are sooo lame.
Draqonelle: What else am I going to ask?
Electra: *thoughtfully* Hmm...Well, I don't have many favorites...Ah! Paul Simon's 'Graceland'. *starts singing* The Mississippi Delta, was shining like a National guitaaar!
Draqonelle: And Zippy.
Zippy: Yeah? *mocking* Gonna ask me what color my socks are?
Electra: *stops singing* Black with little fish all over them.
Draqonelle: If you could be stuck on a desert island with any guy on earth…
Zippy: *in disbelief* What?! That's not fair!
Electra: *smirks* Any question.
Zippy: This is black mail! You've been talking with that lousy Lauderdale. You can't prove a thing!
Draqonelle: Who would you want to be stuck on a desert island with? For me it would be Malcho the Rain Sserpent …. *flames snort out of her nose* Not that *up to The Great Auteur* Not that Licky, Karny, and Steelie aren't cute, LL, but wowie! * whistles and bops herself over the head* Love that snake.
Aurora: *raises an eyebrow* Don Karnage, Malcho, Esmerelda Villanova. How telling. You are attracted to bimbos with hispanic accents.
Draqonelle: Ssooo Sssue me.
Zippy: Okay, fine then! Quackerjack. *quickly* And don't start thinking that I like him or anything! He's practically my dad! I'd only want him there because he'd come in handy if I broke or something, and he's funnier than a weasel up the nose.
Electra: *slowly* Not that it would be too hard to be funnier than a weasel up the nose.
Zippy: Well not my nose. It would have to be someone else's nose to be funny.
Draqonelle: Well The Great Auteur is gone. Can I interest you in a new apartment? We are right on the Nexus between all dimensional fandoms. I can get you a one bedroom for oh…
Electra: *stares in horror at the dilapidated building* No, thank you. I don't think so.
Draqonelle: Come on, it's cheaper than your old apartment.
Electra: Well you're right there, but we've got to get back.
Die Fledermaus: Come on, stay Electra. I always dig it when new chicks move into the building. *clasps his arm around Electra* I'll take all you lovely femininas up to the Maus Pad and show you some of my newspaper clippings. You can come too, Draq, cause baby you are so hot, ruff ruff. *places his other arm around Draq and flashes his big grin*
Aurora: *annoyed* Can the specist humor, bat boy.
Draqonelle: Okay, my last question. Dr. Boreales, you're a psychiatrist, could you commit Die Fledermaus?
Aurora: Can I ever!
She whistles loudly and a van pulls up. Three gorillas in hospital uniforms come out, put Die Fledermaus in a straight jacket, and throw him in the back of the van.
Die Fledermaus: I lose more chicks this way.
Zippy: *cheerfully waves to the van as it drives off, then turns to Electra and Aurora* Well guys, what've we learned today?
Electra:*smirks* I've learned that, while I generally dislike hurting people, I have no qualms about electrocuting obnoxious guys in photo realistic bat costumes who spout bad pick-up lines. In fact, I kinda like it.
Aurora: I've learned that Frappucino is not only a coffee drink, but a telegenic psychic projection to boot.
Zippy: And I've learned that a weasel up the nose just isn't funny. *cheerfully* I'm Zippy.
Electra: I'm Electra.
Aurora: I'm Aurora.
Zippy: And we are:
All three in unison: The High Voltage Studios Interview Team!
Zippy: *pointing in a random direction* Onward pull!
Electra: *explaining to Draq as she picks up the rope attached to The Desk* It's stupid, I know, but she insists we finish every interview like that.
Aurora: *lifts The Desk's leg out of the foot-shaped hole and looks thoughtful* The best way to avoid getting lost in another fandom is, probably, to go back the way we came.
Electra groans, turns The Desk around, and begins pulling it down the street.
No weasels were hurt in the making of this interview.