We join our adventurous interviewers as they pull The Desk down an ordinary-looking street. Or, to be more accurate, we join Electra dragging The Desk with Zippy on top of it while Aurora walks behind it, in case the rope breaks.

Electra: *stops suddenly and looks around* I think we've been here before.

Aurora: We have. *points to a nearby building* That's the Hotel De Heist.

Zippy: *scratches her head in confusion* How'd we get back here? I thought we left this place two interviews back.

Electra: *smacks her forehead* Oh, duh, we turned around! Well, since we're already here, why don't we ask Sparky for an interview?

Zippy: *cheers* Spiffies!

Electra: *quickly* Just don't--

Zippy: *yells in a surprisingly loud voice* SPAAAAARKYYY!!! CAN WE INTERVIEW YOU?!

*Inside the hotel, Ergot suddenly winces at a sound only she can hear*

Ergot: *rubbing one of her ears* You guys hear somethin'?

Sparky: Only you complaining.

Electra: *sighs as she takes her fingers out of her ears* They're going to go deaf if you keep that up, Zip.

Ergot: *looking out the window* Hey look! Someone's outside!

Livewire: Good, let 'em stay there.

Ergot: But I think it's Zippy and that girl with the powers like what you can do! And the doctor lady!

Sparky: Really? What're they doing back?

Ergot: Maybe they're lost. That is what you told them to do, isn't it, 'Wire?

Livewire: *frowns and yells out through the mail slot* We don't want any!

Sparky: Now that's just rude. I'm seeing what they want. An interview with moi, no doubt.

Ergot: I'm going with in case they have cookies.

*Outside...*

Sparky: Hey there! I'd ask you guys in, but I'd be as good as dead if I did, so you'll have to excuse my manners there.

*Ergot sniffs Zippy, almost knocking her over*

Electra sits down at The Desk and Aurora sits on the edge of it, while Zippy digs through one of its drawers.

Zippy: *holding up a large sandwich* Tadaaa! *hands it to Ergot* I brought food, so don't try to eat me!

Ergot: SAMICH! *She devours the sandwich in a matter of seconds* Fank oo. *Then noses around the base of the desk for crumbs or perhaps another sandwich.*

Electra: *rolls her eyes at Zippy, then smiles and clears her throat* Could we interview you?

Sparky: *to Ergot* Toldja they wanted an interview.

Ergot: Oooh, questions! I'm good at questions. Ask me a question.

Sparky: They're asking me questions.

Electra: *curiously* How did you come up with your characters?

Sparky: A-hem. Ergot was the result of a Halloween special on the Discovery Channel about werewolves: they're origin, causes of hallucination, and so forth. Little do most people know, but Ergot here has a super power other than just getting really really big and mean.

*pause*

Electra: *prompting* And that would be...?

Sparky: Oh, you want to know what it is? Well, if Monster Mouth bites you, you'll go into a temporary state of insanity and may hallucinate. It's a get-away mechanism. But she rarely pulls that one out of the bag. I have fun with her seemingly ever-changing personality. But she doesn't really change, she just gets...added on to. She's as big as a horse, just as hungry, and almost as dimwitted.

Ergot: Hey!

Zippy: *giggles*

Sparky: She's not only simple minded in herself, but thinks everything else is simple, too. For example, until otherwise told, she thinks all it takes to get a job is wearing a tie. And when she becomes convinced of something, she really latches on to it. We went to the beach once and she put on an eyepatch, insisting that everyone call her Wolfbeard the Pirate. That phase lasted only a week and a half, thankfully.

Ergot: Arrrr!

Sparky: Very good, Ergot. Though she does surprise us once in a while with a brilliant insight. She likes to pretend. Sometimes she's Rocketwolf Ergot, space explorer, sometimes she's Herr Ergotnovitch, famous Russian submarine operator. This comes from her subconscious low self esteem, which comes from Livewire and her unsuccessful life as a supervillain.

Aurora: *thoughtful* Hmm...

Sparky: Strangely enough, she also enjoys cooking; a seemingly impossible task for someone so big, clumsy, and lacking real fingers. Ergot was originally supposed to be a willing and servile lackey for Livewire, sometimes a thug or a hitman, er wolf. But we can see how that relationship turned out. Quite simply, it didn’t. She's also the most fun to draw, and very versatile when it comes to situations to draw her in.
As for Livewire, well... She just kind of demanded an existence. She wasn't the vicious, blood thirsty, down right mean person she is today at first either; that kind of happened on it's own, too. Being nasty results in being serious. But she's often less than capable. A genius in the lab, but clueless when it comes to being streetwise. And being so incredibly lean doesn't help her out in the brute strength department. Probably the only reason she keeps Ergot around.

Electra: *nods* Makes sense.

Sparky: And Sparky is me. Or at least as close as you can get to me. When I role play this character, I don’t have to set myself in a certain attitude to accommodate her. Well, except in a few added traits... There are other characters, too, though I keep them to myself.

Zippy: *curiously* Really? Spiffy-cool! Can you tell us anything about them? *pause* Or are they Top Secret, FBI, CIA, MIB-type stuff?

Sparky: Um, no. They're not really that secret. Lessee, there's Mortem Cadaver from Necropolis; he's a vampire. There's Pie Mason, the chemist. There's Typhoon, I think a few people already know of her.

Electra: *nods* Yeah, sounds a little familiar.

Sparky: Same goes with Tandy the ghost.

Zippy: Ooh! We've seen pictures of her!

Sparky: I actually looked in a thesaurus for Typhoon's real name. It's Gale Rodman. And rodman apparently means crook, thief, something of that nature. So I thought it was kind of neat.

Electra: *nods in agreement* I get most of my names from a thesaurus, too. Always good for a pun. However obscure.

Sparky: *nods* Anywho, there's that bedraggled looking cat, Purrsuasion, Merril TyCoon, the business uhh...tycoon. Lauren Inks, the typist. She's a lynx, get it?

*Electra snickers, while Zippy, Aurora, and Ergot look at her and Sparky funny.*

Ergot & Zippy: *in unison* Get what?

Sparky: There's also Terri Lynchpin, the downfall of Merril TyCoon. There's Mamba, Sifaka, Indri. Those three don't really have much in the way of personalities, though. There's Echo, a supervillainess. Her name is Dorami Fasolati Doe, so she's a deer.

Ergot: A female deer.

Zippy: *giggles*

Sparky: Yeah, the funny thing is that her power is much like that of the Voice. She was an opera singer and wanted a wider range of pitch, so volunteered to undergo an experimental operation...

Ergot: Ain't that always the way?

Sparky: A-hem. A gadget was implanted in her throat, I like to call it the Voice Box. It didn't work quite the way planned, and now when she hears a voice, she can store it in her Voice Box for later use. Only five will fit, though, and the sad thing is, her own voice no longer exists. All she can do is imitate.

Zippy: *sniffs* That is sad.

Sparky: But I never use that character anyway.

Zippy: *cheerfully* Oh! Well that's not as sad then.

Ergot: Wow. That's a lot of characters, Sparky. Should you be breaking down the fourth wall like this?

Sparky: This is my interview, and I'll break whatever I want.

Electra: *sternly* Just so long as it isn't bones...our insurance doesn't cover it. *continues* Now, where did you get the idea for Livewire to be Megavolt's sister?

Sparky: Well, I wanted the kind of relationship between them that you really only find between feuding siblings.

Ergot: Yeah, like in that story about motor oil!

Sparky: It's only called 'motor oil'. It's not about motor oil. Anyway, I swore I'd never make up a character and decide that he or she is a direct relation to an already existing character, but...but it really, really works well! For me, anyway. I certainly didn't want a love interest thing going on. Firstly, that's just...gross.

Zippy: *nods vigorously* Uh huh! Yucky!

Sparky: For both parties. Secondly, there are probably already bazillions of fans who dream of, if not already have, a character being a partner to, or love interest of, Megavolt. I can think of at least four right now.

Ergot: You're not blushing, are you, Electra?

Electra: *blushing bright red* Of course not! I just-you see-it's like this- *clears her throat and continues, still blushing* Um...we read about how Livewire got her powers, but how did she meet up with Megavolt again?

Zippy: *curiously* Or did that happen in the background?

Electra: *frowns at Zippy* Huh?

Zippy: *explaining* You know. Sometimes in cartoons things just happen in the background, without explanation.

Electra: Oh yeah, oldest trick in the book for when you're running short on time.

Sparky: Well, I do have a way of explaining that. I just never wrote it down. Turns out, the Fearsome Five and Livewire were both robbing the same bank at the same time.

Ergot: What a coincidence!

Zippy: *nods in agreement*

Sparky: Yes. Anyway, she was about to blast Bushroot for stepping on the laser alarm when Megavolt ran past, and saw them, stopped, and said he hadn't seen one of them in almost ten years.

Ergot: Wonder who...

Zippy: *nods in agreement again, genuinely puzzled*

Sparky: Don't you shut up?

Zippy: Why does Serena call Ergot 'Vix'? Is it a nickname, or her...uh, middle name or last name?

Sparky: Ergot's real name is-

Ergot: No! My secret identity!

Sparky: You don't have a secret identity, Ergot. Not anymore, anyway. Her name is Vixen. I know it means fox, but it's as close as I could get, and I like those names that mean something. So anyway, she calls her 'Vix' for short.

Ergot: Gotta admit, it's better than 'Ergy'.

Zippy: *briefly thoughtful* It is better. *starts pacing on top of The Desk* And now, the most important question of all...

Ergot: What's the meaning of life?

Sparky: What are my chances of winning the lotto?

Electra: *growls* Why can't you stop asking, Pest?

Zippy: *reasonably* I have to ask everyone, El. *to Ergot, pauses* I knew the meaning of life once...but I forgot to write it down. *shrugs* Go fig, huh? *to Sparky* Anywho, do I look cuter as a lightbulb-thing or as a duck?

Sparky: ...Uhm... You were a duck?

Ergot: Sure, Sparky. Don't tell me you haven't seen the picture of her as a duck.

Sparky: Uh...yeah... Of course I've seen it. Refresh my memory.

Ergot: The one of Zippy! As a duck!

Zippy: *pipes up* Yeah! The one of me! As a duck!

Sparky: ...Oh right! Right, I remember. I would say a lightbulb thing. Definitely cuter as a lightbulb thing.

Aurora: *in a low voice to Sparky, so Zippy can't hear* Thank you for indulging her. *normal voice* How long have you been a fan of the Darkwing Duck show?

Sparky: Mmm, that's hard to say. It wasn't an instant hit with me. I think it was a few years after it was canceled. I saw a DA magazine with a DW comic in it. 'Watt's the Problem' I think. I read it and thought 'Oh my gosh, that poor guy', meaning Megavolt. Ever since, I've been a really big fan. Of Megavolt, anyway.

Ergot: So you're whole obsession or whatever is based on pity?

Sparky: Well...At first. Something wrong with that?

Electra: *frowns and raises an eyebrow* I don't see anything wrong with it.

Zippy: How long have you been drawing? *grins* We think your pictures are super-spiffy!

Sparky: Well thank you very much! I hope to make a career out of it. My very earliest memory of doing anything artsy is a big bumblebee done in finger paints in kindergarten. Drawing as a hobby, however, I have no idea. Far back as I can remember, I guess.

Zippy: *giggles* Wowie! That's a long time!

Electra: *rolls her eyes* You're-what?-technically about eight months old, Zip? A week is a long time to you.

Zippy: *sticks her tongue out at Electra*

Aurora: *quickly* Do you have anything planned for the future?

Zippy: *pipes up eagerly* Can you give us any hints?

Sparky: Ah gee... Well, I plan to go to college. Then I want to work as an animator, both traditional and CGI. BigIdea looks very appealing-

Ergot: I think they mean in the way of Internet stuff.

Sparky: Oh. Well, not really. I'm not too good at writing, so don't expect many fanfics. I may or may not put up some of the boring garble I call school work, essays and stuff. But you can always look for new art!
Unfortunately, less and less of my stuff is coming out a complete, finished, colored product. Most of it stays in sketch form.

Ergot: She's been drawing me lately.

Zippy: *grins* We've seen some of the new stuff with you, Ergot. You look majorly spiffy-cool! *giggles and spins around in a circle* And now for the part of the interview that Ellie has vowed to some day eliminate! You get to ask each of us a question! *giggles* And we'll even answer it, too.

Ergot: We get to ask questions?

Sparky: I get to ask questions. Ok, Dr. Boreales: What's up, Doc?

Ergot: Oh, the sky, taxes, the price of drugs, the opposite of down.

Aurora: *wryly* My insurance premiums.

Sparky: Now we know what happens when I try to be funny. Ok, real question...

Ergot: Who wrote the Book of Love?

Sparky: Would you shut up!? Megavolt did, but that's not what I was going to ask. Aurora Boreales, you're a psychiatrist, right? Why do you think golfers wear those silly outfits? Is it to distract other golfers or what?

Aurora: *matter-of-factly* There's that, and a mild case of insanity. Anyone who would play that game willingly has to have at least a few screws loose. *smiles* And that's my professional opinion.

Electra: *teasing* "A few screws loose." Such technical terminology.

Aurora: *smiling* Oh hush.

Sparky: Next, Zippy:

Ergot: Ooh, ohh! Can I have another samich?

Sparky: No, you ate already. Anyway, Zippy, what do you think of spoons?

Zippy: *seriously* Well, spoons're all well and good, but I prefer the multi-purpose spork. *grins*

Sparky: Ok, Electra:-

Ergot: Are you an innie or an outie?

Zippy: *ala Yakko Warner* G'night everybody! *giggles*

Sparky: *sits there, mortified*

Ergot: What? They said any question.

Sparky: Ignore her. Who's your favorite Gilligan's Island castaway and why?

Electra: *looks thoughtful for a moment, then nods decisively* The Professor. Definately. *chuckles* I'm attracted to intelligent men. *shrugs helplessly*

Ergot: Can I ask one, can I please?

Sparky: I'm sure they wouldn't mind. They've put up with you this long.

Ergot: Ok, Electra? Do you like to scuba dive?

Sparky: What?! You get the chance to ask the interviewers a question-any question you like-and you want to know if she like to scuba dive?! She can't scuba dive!

Ergot: She might still like it, though.

Electra: *wrinkles her nose and shudders* Ugh. I've been swimming in deep water twice in my life, back when water wasn't a safety hazard, and all I could think of the whole time was what could be lurking in the deep dark depths of that water. *eyes wide in fear as she imagines it* Giant squids, piranhas, eels with those tiny, sharp, pointed teeth... *trails off, eyes even wider, hugs her knees to her chest and whimpers slightly*

Aurora: *looks at Electra worriedly, then glances at Ergot* I think that's a "no".

Zippy: *oblivious to Electra's paralized state* Well that's it! Thanks for letting us interview you! *turns to grin at Electra and Aurora*

Electra: *slowly recovering* Uh oh, I know what that grin means...

Zippy: *giggles* What have we learned today guys?

Electra: *still not fully recovered* I've learned that water is the evil faceless enemy and must be killed and maimed and destroyed at all costs.

Aurora: *blinks at Electra, then shrugs* I've learned that we can't all just get along.

Zippy: *cheerfully* And I've learned to always have a samich handy if I'm going to visit a giant mutant wolf. I'm Zippy.

Electra: I'm Electra.

Aurora: I'm Aurora.

Zippy: And we are:

All three in unison: The High Voltage Studios Interview Team!

Aurora hops off The Desk and backs away from it a little. Electra stands up, grabs the rope attached to The Desk, and starts pulling it in the direction they came.*

Aurora: *quickly* No, turn it around! Remember?

Electra: *blinks in surprise, then looks up in the direction she was going* Oh! Sorry...I'm a little directionally challenged.

Zippy: *giggles* Translation: She can't find the back of her own hand!

Electra: *grumbles, turns The Desk around, and starts pulling it in the opposite direction* Har-dee-har-har.

This interview has been brought to you by: The letter "C," the number "pi," and "sharing".
All characters that don't belong to me belong to Christianna Bonk.