**
What ravages of spirit conjured this temptous rage
Created you a monster broken by the rules of love?
And fate has led you through it
You do what you have to do
And fate has led you through it
You do what you have to do

And I have the sense to recognize
That I don't know how to let you go

Every moment marked with apparitions of your soul
I'm ever swiftly moving, trying to escape this desire
The yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do
The yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do

But I have the sense to recognize
That I don't know how to let you go
I don't know how to let you go

A glowing ember, burning hot and burning slow
Deep within I'm shaken by the violence of existing for only you
I know I can't be with you
I do what I have to do
I know I can't be with you
I do what I have to do

And I have the sense to recognize
That I don't know how to let you go
I don't know how to let you go
(Sarah Mclachlan from Surfacing: "Do What You Have To Do")
**


Liz shut off the water running from the taps. She patted her face dry with a blue hand towel and glanced up into the mirror before her. Her face was pale, her eyes were red-rimmed and slightly bloodshot. Liz batted her tangled hair out of her eyes and tried a smile. Her attempt failed miserably. She stifled the sob that caught in her throat and buried her face in her hands.

**

Lucky shoved his fists into his eye sockets. He slid down the wall until he reached the floor. He could hear Liz puttering in the bathroom, trying to disguise the sounds of her sobs. Cries *he* had caused. Lucky felt like crying out himself. It wasn't fair! He had finally begun to break through with Liz! She had committed to him, by declaring her love. And here they were, worlds apart. It's not fair! he screamed silently.

**

The stillness of the house crowded Liz. She would have preferred it if there was loud music playing, or a TV on, or *something* to distract her from herself. The silence that came from Lucky meant he was waiting for her to emerge from the bathroom. Waiting for what? Liz asked herself bitterly. Why does he have to make this so hard? The vagueness of "this" startled Liz. If she didn't have a game plan to keep herself distant, Lucky'd sweep her off her feet in minutes. She took a deep breath and a seat on the edge of the tub.

**

Lucky knew the silence from the bathroom meant one of two things. Either Liz was going to come out, or she was playing opossum, hoping for him to go away. When, after a few long minutes, it became clear she wasn't exiting that bathroom any time soon, Lucky swallowed roughly. He stood up slowly and listened for any movement from behind the closed door. None, whatsoever. He brushed away a single tear and went into the kitchen.

**

Liz heard Lucky slide up the wall, pause and then she heard his footsteps go down the hall towards the living areas. She swallowed back a fresh onslaught of tears. Lucky had finally given up. That was what she wanted, right?

"Then why do I feel so hopeless?" she whispered to her reflection. No answer came.

**

Lucky stood in the center of the kitchen, his hands clasped tightly in front of him. He looked around helplessly. There were Liz's pills, forgotten this time on the table. The table itself reminded him of breakfast yesterday, and the rainstorm that followed. Lucky swallowed hard again. He forcefully dragged his eyes from the table. They settled on the fridge.

"Good," Lucky said to himself. His voice seemed to come from far away. Lucky went to the fridge and pulled the door open. Inside, at the very front, was a long stemmed white rose, lying flat. Lucky's brows furrowed, as he picked up the flower and stared at it.

**

Liz waited until she heard Lucky making noise in the kitchen, then quietly opened the bathroom door and made her way to the bedroom. She stepped carefully, leaning on the wall. Pain lanced through her hurt foot. And the medication was *still* in the kitchen. Liz pushed open the bedroom door and hobbled to the bed. She slumped onto the top of it, want to catch a few moments rest before she had to find her duffel.

**

Lucky pretended he didn't hear the bathroom door open or Liz limping down the hallway. He might be completely lost as to where he'd gone wrong, but he wouldn't make the mistake of trying to help her when it was brutally obvious she was going out of her way to avoid him. He twisted the rose he still held in his hands, then absently laid it on the table. Maybe he'd finish with breakfast and then go see if she'd want it.

**

Liz pulled on a par of khaki shorts over her aching ankle. Due to the pain, it was looking like she would have to face Lucky after all. She hesitated before pulling off her nightshirt, and glanced up at the open door. She didn't wish to get up and close it, but what if Lucky decided to come check on her? Liz shrugged and tugged her nightshirt over her head. She swiftly put on the white tank that was resting by her side. She gave a relieved sigh when there was no sign of Lucky, and pulled on the long sleeved white overshirt she'd lifted only seconds ago. She took a quick glance out the picture window. The sun was shining brightly.

"Oh, the irony," she muttered to herself, slipping on her sandals.

**

The omelets were steaming on their plates, the juice was ready in its pitcher, the places were set. A white rose was lying, forgotten, next to one of the place settings. Now all the scene needed was a happy couple and it would be picture perfect.

"Fat chance," Lucky mumbled, pacing across the floor. Finally, his will set in and he turned to the hall, steeling himself for whatever might come his way.

**

Liz pushed herself up from the bed, intending to find out why the kitchen was suddenly quiet. She hadn't taken a step yet when Lucky appeared in her field of vision. He stopped instantly, a nervous smile coming to his face.

"Um, breakfast is ready. And your medicine is in the kitchen if you need some," Lucky said, his words a bit stilted. His words did nothing to clear the atmosphere.

Liz nodded, glancing away, unable to hold eye contact with Lucky.

"Yeah," she offered softly. "I - my foot is hurting."

"How do you propose to get there?" Lucky asked, fidgeting uncomfortably. "Do you want some help?"

Liz frowned, and tried putting a little pressure on her foot. She winced immediately.

"Yeah, I guess I do."

Lucky nodded and approached her slowly. He reached out his arm, which Liz took cautiously. He shook his head.

"This is not going to work."

He edged closer and slipped his arm around Liz's waist, taking almost all of her weight onto his person. He guided her through the doorway and the hall and into the kitchen, then sat her at the table. Her eyes fell to the rose by her plate. She looked curiously up at Lucky.

"What's this?" Her voice cracked and she ended with a whisper.

---

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