**
It's tearin' up my heart when I'm with you
But when we are apart I feel it too
And no matter what I do, I feel the pain
With or without you, hey

Baby I don't understand
Just why we can't be lovers
Things are getting out of hand
Tryin' too much, but baby we can't win
Let it go
If you want me girl, let me know
I am down on my knees
I can't take it anymore

It's tearin' up my heart when I'm with you
But when we are apart I feel it too
And no matter what I do, I feel the pain
With or without you
Oh, all right

Baby don't misunderstand
(Don't misunderstand)
What I'm tryin' to tell ya
In the corner of my mind
(Corner of my mind)
Baby it feels like we're running out of time
Let it go
If you want me girl, let me know
I am down on my knees
I can't take it anymore

It's tearin' up my heart when I'm with you
But when we are apart I feel it too
And no matter what I do, I feel the pain
With or without you

Tearin' up my heart and soul
We're apart I feel it too
And no matter what I do, I feel the pain
With or without you

(Tearin' up my heart and soul)
All right
(We're apart I feel it too)
I feel it too
And no matter what I do, I feel the pain
With or without you

It's tearin' up my heart when I'm with you
(Tearin' up my heart and soul)
But when we are apart I feel it too
(We're apart I feel it too)
And no matter what I do, I feel the pain
With or without you

And no matter what I do, I feel the pain
With or without you
(N Sync: "Tearin' Up My Heart")
**

**Her eyes fell to the rose by her plate. She looked curiously up at Lucky.

"What's this?" Her voice cracked and she ended with a whisper.**



"Breakfast," Lucky replied, dodging the question entirely.

Liz lightly touched the rosebud with her fingertips. She was leaning heavily on the tabletop, in the opposite direction of Lucky. She lowered herself carefully to the chair, resisting the urge to shrug off Lucky's hand at her elbow. Once she was seated, he quickly slid into his seat across form her. He glanced up, twisting his napkin anxiously in his lap.

"Do you -- uh -- need your pills?" He held out the bottle to her, in the palm of his hand. Liz reluctantly accepted them from him, jumping when their skin came into contact.

"Thank you," she said stiffly. She swallowed her pills with a sip of juice and set the bottle back on the table, focusing on her small tasks.

Lucky watched her movements, debating against making the first move or not. Eventually his mouth won out and he opened it to speak:

"I don't suppose you were planning on telling me what's the matter?"

Liz's head shot up; she fixed him with a cool stare. "I don't suppose telling you to butt out would help my situation at all, would it?"

Lucky's stomach dropped. "Actually, no." He managed to keep his voice calm with a very thin thread of control.

Liz smiled a chilly half smile. "I thought not." She picked up her juice and took a long drink, then swirled the glass around idly, staring off into space. Lucky grew impatient.

"Well?" he asked, dropping his fork on the table with more force than necessary. Liz jumped inwardly. She shoved away from the table.

"You know what? Suddenly I'm not very hungry."

Lucky shot out of his seat, just in time to catch her by the arms as she lost her balance and almost fell over. He hauled her upright and held her there, staring at her face, while she refused to look at him. She kept her eyes right at his chin level.

"Elizabeth-"

"Stop it!"

Her whispered exclamation rendered him mute. But not for long.

"Baby, I-"

"I said 'stop!'" Liz's voice quavered.

"If you would just talk to me-"

"Are you deaf?! I don't want to talk!! Leave me alone!!"

Liz twisted her shoulders violently, tearing herself from his grip. She took one step away from him and the pain in her ankle became unbearable. She began to sink to the floor, but he caught her around the waist and hauled her to his chest. His arms closed in a vice-like grip around her.

"Lucky, let me go."

The chill in her voice left him shaken inside, but he tenaciously refused to let her go.

"No."

Liz looked up, startled. Big mistake. Lucky's eyes bore into her soul. She quickly went back to staring at his collarbone.

"What do you mean, 'no'?" Liz tried to maneuver herself out of his arms, but he would have none of it. "Lucky, let...me...go!" Each of her words were punctuated with a fist to his shoulders and chest. Still he held her tightly, almost tenderly.

"I mean," he paused, adjusting himself slightly so he was sure he wasn't hurting her, "that either you talk to me now, or we stay here all day."

Liz rolled her eyes, a snappy comeback waiting on the tip of her tongue.

"Don't even bother," Lucky told her, getting a little dizzy from being so close to her. "Why don't you just tell me what it is?" he coaxed, his voice softening.

Liz shook her head obstinately. Lucky resisted the urge to shake her.

"Elizabeth, just talk to me..." he murmured, inadvertantly blowing hot air on her face.

She trembled inside. What *was* his special gift: the ability to make her fall apart with a breath of air, the ability to reduce her to an incoherent fool with one kiss?

"Lucky," she pleaded, lowering her head even more.

"I can wait here all day, if I need to."

Liz frowned and swallowed.

"Don't make me do this..."

Lucky nearly crumbled. His resolve was shot.

"Just tell me." He paused. When she remained silent, he spoke again. "I'll understand."

Liz beat once against his chest. "That's just it! You won't get it! You'll misunderstand me and get on the defensive and I'll be-" She choked on her words.

Lucky ran his fingertips over the smooth expanse of her cheekbone. "What was that?"

Liz shifted in his arms, pulling away from his hand.

"Please don't," she whispered, closing her eyes.

Curbing his impulse to touch her again, Lucky squeezed his eyes shut as well and accidentally leaned too much closer. He felt the heat from Liz's warming his skin and swiftly pulled back.

"Baby." Lucky's word finally broke Liz's last wall. Lucky's intense assault against her feeble defenses had sent her for a loop and back again. She blinked rapidly and focused in on her words.

"It's silly really," she began haltingly, hating the way her voice emerged sounding like she was already crying. Well, she was, but she didn't want him to know that.

"Nothing you do or say is silly," Lucky put in. He berated himself instantly for interrupting her when she was finally opening up.

Liz closed her eyes tightly for the second time, hoping to block out the images of his hurt.

"This is so hard," she half-whimpered, leaning her head back and giving Lucky a perfect view of her face.

"Lucky, I want to be independant, and not to have to rely on you twenty-four/seven. I want to stand on my own two feet...figuratively speaking. I guess I want -- I want to be able to decide when I need you. I want some ... I want some time -- and space to myself."

She hadn't even opened her eyes and she could feel his hurt.

Have I scared her so badly? he asked himself.

Liz took a long minute of deep breaths before opening her eyes. Lucky's pained eyes would haunt her memory forever. He smiled awkwardly, his heart thudding, and released her totally, only gripping her elbow when it became apparent she couldn't stand up by herself. Liz watched him pull away.

What have I done?

"I-" Lucky swallowed roughly. "I can give you what you want. T-time and...space." He was the one needing space. He needed it to lick his wounds, fully comprehend what had just taken place, and mostly to figure out how he was going to stay away from Liz.

Liz nodded, her head aching. For him, for her, for the both of them.

Lucky shook himself. He looked to Liz, as casually as he could manage.

"Do you want -- breakfast, or...or-"

"Just rest," Liz inserted for him, trying to smile. "My ankle is killing me, and I just want to sit for awhile."

Lucky nodded dazedly. Now what? "Do you...want me to carry you, or not -- not, of course, silly question, I-"

Liz put him out of his misery. "Why don't just just grab onto my waist," she demonstrated by sliding his arm around herself, "and then just sorta hold me up. And I'll hop, like this."

He couldn't look at her. He helped her as best he could, into the living room, to the couch, and then removed his arm as quickly as he could without being suspicious.

"I'm going to, uh...clean up the mess I made this morning. You just...you just rest and if you need anything, just yell." Lucky beat a hasty retreat to the relative safety of the kitchen.

Liz relaxed back against the couch, wondering at herself. Now she was feeling strangely empty.

You've got to get it together, girl.

Lucky cleaned up the table as best he could. He had Liz's plate in his hands when his eyes fell to the rose, and he lost it. He dropped the plate on the table, it landed with a clang. He collapsed onto his arms, crying silent tears, spilling his anguish the only way he knew how.

What do I do now?

---

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