**
she grew up with
the children of the stars
in the Hollywood Hills and the Boulevard
her parents threw big parties
everyone was there
they hung out with folks like
Dennis Hopper, Bob Seeger, Sonny and Cher

now, she feels safe
in this bar on Fairfax
and from the stage I can tell that
she can't let go and she can't relax
and just before
she hangs her head to cry
I sing to her a lullaby, I sing

everything's gonna be all right
rockabye, rockabye
everything's gonna be all right
rockabye, rockabye
rockabye

she still lives with her mom
outside the city
down that street about a half a mile
and all her friends tell her
she's so pretty
but she'd be a whole lot prettier
if she smiled once in a while
`cause even her smile
looks like a frown
she's seen her share of Devils
in this Angel town

But, everything's gonna be all right
rockabye, rockabye
everything's gonna be all right
rockabye, rockabye
rockabye

I told her I ain't so sure
about this place
it's hard to play a gig in this town
and keep a straight face
seems like everyone here's got a plan
it's kind of like Nashville with a tan, but,

everything's gonna be all right
rockabye, rockabye
everything's gonna be all right
rockabye, rockabye

everything's gonna be all right
rockabye, rockabye
everything's gonna be all right
rockabye, rockabye,rockabye, bye, bye
bye, bye
(Shawn Mullins from Soul's Core: "Lullaby")
**


The dream still had its tentacles firmly wrapped around my brain until I felt the gentle pressure of a hand on my shoulder, shaking me.

"Baby, wake up." Liz's sweet whisper came to my ears.

< Baby? >

I forced my eyes open, they felt full of sand. Liz was raised on one elbow, her silhouette looked down on me.

< Angel of the night. >

"Are you okay, Lucky?"

< Am I okay? Isn't that the other way around? >

I opened my mouth to speak, then allowed it to snap shut. I ran my tongue around inside, trying to round up some moisture. To no avail.

< I'm going to croak. >

"I could use a glass of water," I admitted. My voice came out harsh sounding and rough. I flinched.

< I croaked. >

Liz moaned and began to drag herself out of bed. "Sure thing."

< Don't overdo with the enthusiasm, there. >

I flipped on the lamp beside me on a little table, so Liz could see to get out the door. When the light filled the room, my eyes closed instinctively.

< Oww. >

"I'll just be a minute," Liz slurred sleepily, already at the door.

I rolled onto my back and stared up at the ceiling. When Liz's shadow crossed my line of vision, I sat up as best I could. I leaned back against the headboard. Liz crawled onto her side of the bed carefully, then arranged herself sitting cross legged, once she'd given me my water. I sipped it hastily.

< Mmm. >

"Thank you. Ice," I murmured in surprise and delight.

"Yeah," Liz said simply, offering no comment. "So are you going to tell me what that dream was all about, or do I even need to guess?"

< Uh oh spagettios. >

I avoided her eyes.

< Aversion? It'll never work, she'll just read my mind. >

"Score one for me," Liz muttered softly, leaning back on her palms.

< See? >

"I..."

< What do I say? >

I watched my hands in sick fascination. They shook so badly that I nearly dropped my glass of water. Liz reached for it, covering my hands with her smaller ones, and taking the glass away from me. She put it away. I still couldn't seem to shift my gaze from my hands.

< What is wrong with me? >

Liz reached for my hands again, and took them into her own.

"Your hands are cold," she informed me, pulling my hands closer to her body, and lightly rubbing them. "You're shaking." Her voice was little in the expanse of space between us.

< She noticed. >

She unfolded her legs and moved closer. Her hands rubbed up my arms and back down to my hands again.

< Gulp. >

My eyes rocketed to hers.

"Elizabeth, I'm sorry," my voice emerged hoarse and unused.

"For what?" she asked with honest innocence. She was rubbing patterns into my hands.

< For everything. >

"Tonight - I - that man ..." my ability to convert thoughts to words left me. I imagined I sounded extremely stupid right about now.

Liz's eyes were sympathetic. Her worry for me almost covered up the fear that was lodged at the back of her eyes.

"Lucky..."

< I don't want her pity. Not now. Not ever. >

My voice shook.

"I couldn't protect you-"

I choked on my words and the emptiness I was feeling inside. Liz seemed to read my mind for the umpteenth time this night. She slid her arms around my neck, gently, almost as if afraid I'd break, scooting closer to me.

< Need you, Elizabeth. >

The warmth of her body enveloped me. I clung to her waist, desperate for the contact. Her head was tucked over my shoulder, I could feel her breathing literally down my neck.

< I'm going to start with the waterworks any moment now. >

I breathed in deeply, trying to stall the tears that were forming behind my eyes.

< Crying isn't manly. >

Liz was sitting half on my lap. We were tangled somewhere in the mattress, blanket and pillows. She shifted nervously. Instantly my stomach plunged.

< She doesn't want... >

"Don't even think that."

My thoughts were cut off before they could finish themselves. Liz kissed my cheek.

"I'm trying to get comfortable here," she explained lightly.

< Oh. >

We ended up with me sprawled on my back, and Liz snuggled up to my side, her head pillowed on my shoulder. One of her arms was looped around my waist, the other rested on the mattress beside her.

"Better?" I asked shakily.

"Yeah, I'm fine now." Her voice was muffled to my ears. But her words got through. "Are you going to be okay?"

"You keep asking that tonight," I stalled, working to steady my breath and my voice.

She remained silent for a moment.

< Maybe she went back to sleep. >

"Are you?"

< Or not. >

I held my breath when she moved her arm, brushing it against my sore ribcage. She must've noticed me tense.

"Did I hurt you?"

I focused on her words, instead of the pain that lanced through my torso.

"I'm okay."

< No, I'm not. >

"Which question was that in reference to?"

"Either."

"Liar."

She lifted her head from my shoulder and looked into my face. Part of me wished to turn away from her, to send her away. But the stronger part ached for her comfort and understanding.

< Oh boy. >

Her expression was concern, bordering on worry, when she reached up and brushed at the tears that had fallen without my consent.

"Tell me what to do," she whispered throatily. "Tell me how to fix it."

< Can I? >

I closed my eyes for the briefest of moments, needing to escape her piercing eyes, always so full of questions. When I felt her lightly touch my face with her fingertips, my eyes flew open.

"You can tell me, Lucky."

Her whispered words fanned my face.

"I want to," I returned slowly. "But I don't know if I can."

"You can. You know me. Better than anyone else."

< True. >

"I wanted to-" I swallowed. "To protect you ... tonight. When he - when he told me he would hurt you, that - that he had *accomplices*, I wanted to tear him apart. But I couldn't. He was ... he was too strong. And I couldn't take care of you-" The sobs catching in my throat cut off any further conversation, on my part. Tears fell freely from my eyes.

< What will she think of me now? >

I coughed suddenly, and all the pent up forces raging through my body seemed to come to the surface. Before I totally humiliated myself, I tried to turn away from Liz. She grasped my chin and forced me to look at her.

"Don't do that," she admonished, using her free hand to wipe away tears of her own. She refused to let me back away.

< Stubborn. >

My body shook with the force of my cries. Liz tried wrapping her arms around my shoulders, then my waist, before she sat up fully.

"This isn't working," she said, her voice cracking.

< What? >

"Sit up," she commanded, reaching down to help me. I obeyed without asking why. Not that my voice would have worked by now anyway.

< I don't understand. >

The instant I was sitting upright, she threw her arms around my neck and pulled me close to her. I buried my face in her hair, still crying silently.

< Oooh. >

She rocked the both of us slowly, holding tightly to my body when I felt I couldn't support myself anymore.

< I love you. >

A soft sound came to my ears. I held my breath and my tears in, trying to figure out what it was.

< Sounds like... >

Liz was singing. Very softly. I didn't know the tune, or the words, but my heart thumped. My tears began to die down, I began to breath a little easier. When I stopped shaking, Liz scooted down until we were both lying on the bed.

Still she sang.

< She has a beautiful voice. >

I began to relax. My eyes drooped. Liz still held me tightly.

"Go to sleep," she murmured, breaking from her song. "We'll talk in the morning."

I opened my mouth to ask her not to stop singing. She hummed a few bars and then slowly sang her song again, repeating it until I fell asleep.


**
everything's gonna be all right
**

---

Back | Fanfic | Feedback | Next