381 things you learned from Star Wars

 

1.Never trust men in dark helmets. 

2.It really isn't necessary to be fluent in over 6 million forms
 of communication. 

3.When all else fails....jump! 

4.Before kissing ANYBODY, make sure they're not related to you. 

5.Sometimes, you've just gotta do something that seems totally
 suicidal. 

6.If you are a young hero, nothing can kill you. 

7.Always check the background of people you want to get 
 intimately involved with; they may be your relatives. 

8.You may have family members in surprisingly high positions. 

9.Before you kill someone, make sure they aren't your father. 
 (...and be sure to teach your children proper English.) 

10.Watch out for Corellian freighters diving out of the sun. 

11.Know the difference between a power socket and a computer 
terminal. 

12.THIS one goes there, and THAT one goes there! 

13.No matter how tasty that hunk of meat looks on that pole on 
that forest moon, don't grab it; it's probably a trap. (Or: when 
you see a piece of dead meat impaled on a stake in the woods, 
LEAVE IT!!!!!!!!!) 

14.Cute, cuddly, widdle teddy bears usually will eat you alive 
unless can prove you're a god. 

15.Never stand on a trapdoor leading to a Rancor pit. 

16.No disintegrations. 

17.Fire on a rebel base *before* they blow up your space 
station. 

18.Don't assume a senior citizen is weak and frail; they may zap 
you with lightning bolts. -- Some people may not be what they 
seem!

19.Never, never, never underestimate the power of the Dark Side. 

20.You will find many of the truths we cling to depend greatly 
on our own point of view. 

21.No matter how deeply one falls into darkness, there is always 
hope for redemption. 

22.Just when you think there is no more hope, alas, there is one 
more. 

23.Never judge a "piece of junk" spaceship from the outside. 
More often than not, "she's got it where it counts." 

24.Beware of judging someone else's beliefs as just a "hokey 
religion." You just may end up eating those words. 

25.Never buy anything from a short, hooded, smelly guy. 

26.It's never my fault. 

27.Never judge anything by its size. 

28.There are those who are less forgiving than Darth Vader. 

29.It's not a lie, it's just someone else's point of view. 

30.Always let a Wookiee win. 

31.Never cast your lightsaber away, you just might need it. 

32.It not a good idea to follow up on a vision while meditating. 

33.Nothing is ever too small to get away from you. (R2 in ANH) 

34.Whining about something never helps. (Toschi Station in ANH) 

35.Taking your droids to a bar will only arouse suspicion. (ANH) 

36.Don't leave your food out for others to eat. (ROTJ) 

37.Don't attempt to handcuff someone larger than you. (Chewie in 
ANH) (Or: NEVER try to put binders on someone who is 7'2", big, 
furry and has big teeth!!!) 

38.It is not always necessary to ignore the annoying. (3PO in 
ESB) 

39.Always pay off your debts in a hurry. 

40.If your in it just for the money, you might blow your chances 
with the princess. 

41.It is pointless to argue with family members. (Owen in ANH) 

42.In negotiations, a thermal detonator can come in handy. (Or: 
Thermal detonators make bargaining so much easier; you usually 
get what you want. Or: Never argue with someone who's holding a 
thermal detonator! 
Or: Always carry a thermal detonator when bargaining with a 
Hutt.) 

43.Be cautious of "friends" offering refreshments. 

44.If some yells out "It's a trap!" then believe them. 

45.DON'T go in no CAVES! 

46.Watch your hands when swordfighting. 

47.Short green guys with big ears can be more than they seem. 

48.Wading around in a pool of garbage is infinitely more 
preferable to getting killed. 

49.Electricity really hurts. 

50.The most important part of your spaceship is the hyperdrive. 

51.Maybe we SHOULD listen to the protocol droid just this 
once... 

52.Pay your debts on time, you can't always kill the bill 
collector. 

53.Walk in single file to hide your numbers. 

54.When buying used appliances make sure they've been totally 
mind-wiped... er... reconditioned. 

55.When wearing stormtrooper armor, remember to make sure the 
door's completely open before going through it. 

56.Trust yourself. 

57.Never tell someone the odds! 

58.Never allow yourself to become as clumsy as you are stupid. 

59.Always accept apologies. 

60.When offered promotion under duress, it might be wise to make 
like a tree and get outta there! 

61.Never trust a spokesman for an alcoholic malt beverage. (Or: 
Don't trust people who appear in Colt .45 commercials. Or: NEVER 
accept an invitation to have a drink or eat with Mr. Colt .45 
himself--it may just be a setup.) 

62.Hokey religions just might be a good substitute for a blaster 
at your side. 

63.Never let your friend know if you're having problems with 
your droid. 

64.Never assume that carbonating someone is "all too easy". 
[Anyone for Han Soda and Wookiee Cookies?] 

65.Never tell strange creatures in a bar that you'll be careful. 

66.Just when you think you're ready, you hit your head. 

67.When you protest about the terms of an agreement, the terms 
might be altered further. 

68.You never know what a day is gonna bring.... 

69.After spending several months in deep-freeze, your vision 
will be blurry. 

70.When in doubt, follow the garbage. 

71.Size matters not (now there's one you can use in real life!) 

72.Never underestimate a teddy-bear. 

73.Try not. Do or do not. There is no try. 

74.Mind what you have learned, save you it can. 

75.Even if it's a great shot, don't get cocky. 

                       

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