381 things you learned from Star Wars Continued

 

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301.Never underestimate the power of the dark side. 

302.These ARE the droids you are looking for, you idiots! 

303.If you ever fall into a murky swamp with strange things 
swimming in it, make sure you're made of metal. 

304.When you're kissing the princess, lock the door. 

305.Sandpeople always ride single file to hide their numbers, 
and they are rather inaccurate with blasters. 

306.Remember to keep the lead actress's character name and real 
name straight!! 

307.You must feel the Force flowing through you. Let go of your 
feelings. 

308.Try no to park your Chariot LAV under a stone structure that 
can be toppled by a lightsaber. (HTTE) 

309.When attempting to launch a rock by twirling it over your 
head, then releasing it, be sure you know how to do it right 
(note to Wicket in ROTJ). 

310.Those robot mice are pests. Trap them in mousetraps and save 
yourself the hassle. Bits and bytes make good bait. 

311.Even if the Old Man does tell you to leave his throne room, 
it's usually a good idea to stick around, out of sight: you 
never know when someone will throw him down a large shaft. (note 
to Royal Guards) 

312.Don't try storming an Imperial base unless all of the 
troopers have been accounted for. 

313.Stay away from crazy old hermits. 

314.Don't argue with your friends when they tell you to get into 
an escape pod. 

315.Don't use targeting computers; rely on the voice of an old 
man inside your head. 

316.When fighting a Corellian, 10 to 1 odds aren't in your 
favour. (ANH) 

317.When your protocol droid tries to tell you there is 
something wrong with your YT-1300 freighter, listen to them. 

318.If all else fails, drive headlong into an asteroid field. 

319.When your shield generator is hit, intensify forward shields 
a.s.a.p.: you never know when a ship may crash into your bridge. 

320.Get on board the Executor if possible. Chances are Lord 
Vader will choke your superior to death and give you the job. 

321.Never call bounty hunters scum when they're within earshot. 

322.A protocol droid who says he's not much of a storyteller is 
a liar. (remember C-3PO in ANH when he's in the oil bath, then 
in the Ewok village in ROTJ) 

323.Make tilted lines whenever possible. "Look at the size of 
that thing!" 

324.Adjoinder to previous: Cut the chatter, Red Two. 

325.Humans roasted over an open fire make for great feasts. 

326.You can't beat the speed of light. (Gallandro in HSATLL) 

327.The Force can have a strong influence on the weak-minded. 

328.When someone tells you that you look good enough to pull the 
ears off a gundark, your sister will kiss you with tongue 
shortly thereafter!!!!!! 

329.When two real scary guys in a bar (who look like they fell 
out of the ugly tree and hit EVERY branch on the way down) tell 
you they don't like you, RUN!!!!!!! 

330.Wampas blend in really, really well with snow. 

331.You should always listen to a Jedi master when they tell you 
something; they probably know what they are talking about. 

332.Corollary to above: Even Jedi can make mistakes sometimes. 

333.It is impossible for a computer to hit a target that is only 
two meters wide. 

334.When someone who is 900 years old tells you that twilight is 
upon him -- BELIEVE IT!!!!! And don't tell him he can't die, 
especially if he's been training Jedi for 800 years. (He 
probably knows his business.) 

335.Don't EVER state that you're a consular ship on a diplomatic 
mission! 

336.When you see a TIE heading for a small moon, GET THE HELL 
OUT! 

337.When getting a job, you should make sure that you dislike 
your boss. Your father is going to throw him down a shaft, 
anyway. 

338.When somebody offer you money and you demand $10,000, DON'T 
accept it if they offer $2000 in cash and $15,000 later! 

339.When bringing a suspected Rebel ship into the hangar of your 
Star Destroyer, close the door. 

340.Never trust a droid who asks you to remove the restraining 
bolt. 

341.Never buy second-hand droids. 

342.Droids are NOT good babysitters. 

343.Sabacc sucks! (Sorry couldn't edit this one)

344.If she's got red hair, look out! 

345.If you want to exterminate Jedi Knights, be thorough! 

346.Never trust a clone (unless he's green [Dorsk 81]). 

347.Never trust anybody with two "U"'s in their name. 

348.Smugglers are really nice guys. 

349.Mining is always a bad idea (Lando Calrissian, only). 

350.Jedi Knights tend to lose consciousness. (Luke in Courtship, 
Dark Apprentice, Children of the Jedi, Darksaber...) 

351.Star Destroyers are easy to blow up. 

352.Keep an eye on your kids! (see also #342). 

353.Never let Mark Hamill open a packet of refreshers (ref to an 
advertising campaign for a sweet/candy in the UK). 

354.When several creatures approach from the south east, 
never "have a look". 

355.If living on Tatooine, be sure you can impersonate a Krayt 
dragon. 

356.Never go in without a plan. 

357.Never get a princess angry. 

358.Never go into a cave unless you know it's not something's 
mouth. 

359.If you foresee your destruction in the hands of a Jedi, 
ignore everything else you can foresee and destroy him the first 
chance you get! 

360.Some of us are apparently Empire fans for a variety of 
strange reasons. 

361.Eventually, there will be a Star Wars re-release that 
everyone will unconditionally love. And it will have the Biggs 
scenes. 

362.General, Admiral -- same thing! 

363.You never know when family connections will come in handy. 

364.When you are getting shot at by stormtroopers and AT-STs, 
it's not a good time for foreplay! 

365.When you're walking through the corridors of some Imperial 
installation and you hear a little "beep" at your feet, get out 
of the way! (Dark Forces) 

366.Always make sure your approach vector is set. 

367.If you are a reckless hero...21B (Too-Onebee) is your best 
friend. 

368.Little control bunkers can create one really cool explosion. 

369.You can fly an X-wing while fireworks are being shot off. 
(ROTJ) 

370.When in the presence of short aliens, keep an eye on your 
droid or it might be stolen (Jawas), melted down (Ugnaughts), 
taunted (Yoda), or worshipped as a god (Ewoks). 

371.Oh, and if you can make sure your phone number is: 326-3827. 
(get that one if you can!) That is not my number, please do 
not attempt to phone it and bother the poor soul on the line!

372.There is no such thing as a "stock" light freighter. 

373.Never tell a guy to "Freeze!" while standing in front of a 
deep shaft. 

374.Every aspiring young Jedi must pass through the "dork" 
phase. 

375.Good will always win... because it's supposed to! 

376.Make sure you train all of your officers at the School of 
Veddy Proper Queen's English. 

377.Never EVER talk back to your boss, especially if he's a 
seven-foot-tall black-clad voice-like-painful-death Dark Lord of 
the Sith. 

378.Any character portrayed by an extra won't get to hit 
anything, and probably doesn't live very long. 

379.If you want to kill the Emperor, be sure to wipe out all of 
his clone bodies along with the Emperor himself. 

380.When in doubt, don't shoot...just leave the place!! (ESB, in 
slug's mouth) 

381.Don't sneak up on a Force-user; you'll get caught. 

           
 THE END!! HAVE SOME TO ADD? EMAIL THEM TO ME!