381 things you learned from Star Wars Continued

 
                     
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226.Blasting a prison into a ballistic trajectory as a means of 
escape is not a good idea. (HSASE) 

227.If you get an unwanted phone call, shoot the phone. 

228.Never let Mr. GQ smooth borrow your vehicle, especially 
after he says "not a scratch". 

229.If you build a Death Star and some farm boy blows it up, 
just build a new one!!!!!!! 

230.If you see a small blue elephant at a party, you haven't 
necessarily drunk too much. 

231.Watch out for stormtroopers that are a little short. 

232.Your Tauntaun'll freeze before you reach the first marker. 

233....But if so, then I'll see you in hell! 

234.The middle of a raging battle for the fate of the galaxy is 
no time for heroics. 

235.A ill-trained, uncoordinated, rabble with obsolete ships and 
weapons (Rebels) would always beat well equipped, superbly 
trained and numerically superior forces (Empire). :) 

236.Boys from backwater farming planets are better shots then 
Imperial stormtroopers. 

237.When 900 years old you reach, look as good you will not. 

238.When in doubt, go in full throttle. 

239.Beware those heart-to-heart talks with Dad. One of you might 
end up losing an appendage. 

240.When sending troops out to a jungle world, MAKE SURE they 
are all wearing black and white, so nobody can see them. 

241.Adventure, excitement, a Jedi craves not these things! 

242.Try not to look to the future, keep your mind on where you 
are and what you are doing. 

243.Don't ever give any lip to an old man who has yellow eyes 
and shoots lightning out of his own body. 

244.Never say to someone, "where are you taking this -- THING --
 ?" because the next thing you know, you're flying across the 
room. 

245.Stay on target!!!! 

246.Keep your distance, but don't LOOK like you're trying to 
keep your distance. (In other words, fly casual.) 

247.When purchasing a protocol droid, remember, at some point 
some assembly may be required. 

248.When based on an ice planet, don't turn on the thermal 
heaters. 

249.Never travel the Jundland Wastes lightly. 

250.Never stand at the edge of a step when an R2 unit turns on 
its holo projector. 

251.Never be next to Han Solo when you are trapped in a garbage 
compactor, cockpit of the MF while in a space slug, or when shot 
at the back entrance of a shield control center. 

252.Never listen to your squad commander when he tells you 
to "stay on target" and Darth Vader is chasing you in a TIE 
fighter. 

253.It is a good idea to have a wing man named "Janson". 

254.If you are a droid, be sure to have your deactivator put on 
your front side, not behind your neck. 

255.Always follow the advice of an aide with long sideburns. 

256.If you only knew the power of the dark side, you would not 
have been in this ridiculous position! 

257.Make sure your first catch of the day isn't backed up by a 
really big ion cannon. 

258.Don't be thinking about your sister during a big fight with 
Dad. 

259.The galaxy is ruled by GONK (or, at least rec.arts.sf.starwars is ruled by GONK). 

260.Make sure your rocket pack isn't set to go off at the 
slightest touch before leaping into battle. 

261.When you're with a woman you like, never get too obnoxious, 
or she'll kiss the next nearest guy (even if it's her 
brother). --> Treat others how you would like to be treated.

262.No matter how cool a guy's helmet looks, push him off a high 
place and he'll scream like a girl. 

263.Travel through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops. 

264.Bury your feelings deep. (They do you credit, but they could 
be made to serve the Emperor.) 

265.Your insight serves you well. 

266.Try to keep a little optimism -- especially if you're 
endangering a mission that you shouldn't have come on. 

267.Just "hold on" when your pilot tells you to. (Dak didn't 
hold on. Look what happened to him!) 

268.Remember, your strength flows from the Force. 

269.Once you start down the Dark Path, forever will it dominate 
your destiny. 

270.You can't escape your destiny. 

271.If you buy equipment out of the back of a guy's vehicle, 
chances are, someone will come looking for it. 

272.If you buy stolen equipment, make damn sure it can't be 
traced to you. 

273.Cool costume + Bare minimum of screen time = Eternal 
popularity 

274.The only thing worse than working for a Hutt crimelord is 
working for a Dark Lord of the Sith. 

275.When rescuing a princess, insist on payment in advance. 

276.When chasing X-wings down trenches, look behind you in case 
their friends help them. 

277.When a Wookiee says he smells something scary, believe him. 

278.Fly only ships that have harpoon cable shooters in the 
front. (ESB) 

279.Be sure your ship uses "quick release" seat belts. (ESB) 

280.Fly only X-wings that float in case you land in a swamp. 
(ESB) 

281.Do your explaining BEFORE you remove the handcuffs off of a 
Wookiee. (ESB) 

282.Fly your speeder bike ABOVE the trees in a forest. (ROTJ) 

283.Leave the spying to Bothans. (ROTJ) 

284.Old Jedi never die, they just fade away. 

285.Never scream when a friend evaporates, and you're trying to 
secretly make it back to a smuggler's ship. 

286.Many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own 
point of view. 

287.You must do what you feel is right. 

288.Watch that crossfire, boys!!! 

289.Always get them to put their hands ON the table.... 

290.Go to the escape shuttle when told that "The attack plan has 
been analysed, and there is a risk". 

291.Make sure the asteroid is entirely stable before you land 
your ship on it. 

292.Do not ever be late with payments! 

293.Smuggling compartments can also be great sub-lets. 

294.You cant estimate anything that deals with the Force. 

295.Do or do not... there is no try. 

296.Patience... you must have patience! 

297.Don't question the ability of rocks and sticks to kill with. 

298.Sometimes you don't have to say "I love you". 

299.Nothing can happen without a Bothan spy dying. 

300.It's never your fault. 

                    
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