Jack's Tips for Stretching Headlines

OK I'm going to start this list, and hopefully you people will get the idea and send me some more. *whew* Here goes....

Hey-a everyone, Cowboy speakin'! I hear ya want some help stretchin' yer headlines a little. Well, you've come to the right person! I can strech headlines like a piece o' taffy! Here are my tips for ya:

1)Don't make it LOOK like yer stretchin' the truth.
2)Keep an innocent face and a cute little New Yawk accent.
3)Don't tell 'em what page the article's on, so you can get outta there before they soak ya.
4)Always say "Thank you, Ma'am" or "Thank you Sir" to make you look even nicer.
5)Offer to charge 'em half, then mumble about how sick yer mom is and how she may not live the week out.
6)Try to grab a cute little kid to do the work for ya, younger sells faster.

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ARGH! What am I dumb or sumthing??? HELP!!!!!! I can't think of any more!!!

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