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Warnings: Presumes familiarity with Clover 1-4. OOC,
sheer wacked-outness, shounen ai, and snitty sibling
rivalry. Read at your own risk. All characters
copyright CLAMP and big scary corporations that could
eat me for lunch and still be hungry. ^_^;
Uno
a Clover SPAMfic
by Kristin
The scene: Gingetsu's house in the city. Several
figures are seated at the nondescript pair of sofas in
the great room. Hunched over the coffee table, they
are playing cards.
Oruha: Is it my turn already?
She looks sidelong at the tall man sitting next to
her, smiles, and reveals a Draw Four Wild.
Gingetsu: .........
He draws four.
Oruha: Let's make it... red.
Gingetsu: .........
He plays a red Draw Two, then looks down
expressionlessly at the girl across from him.
Suu: *wide eyed* What does that mean?
Kazuhiko: Haven't you ever played Uno before?
Suu: No. *looking down* ...Because I've always been
alone.
Kazuhiko gazes at her, seemingly moved, but is then
distracted by a glimpse of the thigh-high slit in
Oruha's skirt.
Ran: *handing Suu a cup of tea* It's all right.
You're learning.
She smiles hesitantly back at him.
Oruha: Just draw two cards from the stack, and then
play a red one if you have it.
Suu looks at her cards, then puts down a red Reverse.
Gingetsu: ........
He slaps down a blue Reverse. Suu blinks in renewed
bewilderment.
Kazuhiko: Man, give her a break! It's her first
time! She's just a kid!
Gingetsu: ... My point exactly.
Kazuhiko: Shut up! Like you should talk!
Ran: *smiling* Some tea?
Oruha: Blue, Suu, if you have one.
She puts down a blue 0, then turns to the player next
to her, who is muttering incessantly under his breath.
A: There's no such thing as a Four-Leaf Clover.
There's no such thing as a--
Kazuhiko: Just play, will you?
A slaps down a Wild card. Only one card remains in
his hand.
A: Uno. *laughs evilly*
Resentment fills the air.
Kazuhiko: Man, who let him out of the lab?
A: I'm gonna whup you all without even trying. Not
only that, I'm gonna be alive at the end of the
series, ha ha ha!
The rest of the Clovers in the room wince.
Kazuhiko: Huh?
Oruha: *soothingly* It's all right, honey. You get
to live, too.
A: *snickering* So far.
Kazuhiko: That's enough out of you, psycho killer
cheater boy! Somebody hit him with a Draw 4!
Ran: *to A* You didn't say what color.
A: Oh, whatever. Blue.
Ran plays a blue Draw Two.
Kazuhiko: What!?
Ran: *smiling at Kazuhiko* Don't call my brother a
cheater.
Kazuhiko: You little BRAT!
Suu: Um, I was wondering, could we maybe change the
music?
Everyone stops and looks at the stereo, which has been
playing "Umare kawaru no" nonstop for the past hour.
Ran: *blinking* But I like this song.
Oruha: Well, it wasn't a bad piece of work, but I
still prefer "Love," myself.
She smiles at Kazuhiko. Kazuhiko smiles back. They
consider escaping to some other more private locale.
A: I think it sucks. *simpering* To be born again
in your aaaarms--
Out of nowhere, Gingetsu summons his sword and points
it at A. The other players hurl themselves away from
the blade.
Ran: Don't kill him!!
Gingetsu: *to A* This is my house. If you refuse to
behave yourself and play Uno like a civilized person,
leave.
A: *smirking* You're a Two-Leaf. I can kick your
ass any day.
Ran: Not if I have anything to say about it.
A: ... I knew it. You're sleeping with him, aren't
you?
Ran turns slightly pink. Kazuhiko coughs loudly.
A: You lying jerk! You were supposed to love me the
best!
Ran: Please, A... I hate it when you get all creepy
and incestuous like that.
Suu: I'm gonna change the music.
She does so, and begins to sing along to "Shiawase ni
naritai."
Oruha: Oh, Kazuhiko, they're playing our song. Shall
we?
Kazuhiko: Hell, yeah.
They flee, presumably to go fornicate like rabbits.
Suu continues to sing. Gingetsu puts his sword away
and watches the arguing twins.
A: If they're quitting, then I win by default.
Ran: There's nothing in the rules about that.
A: Goody two-shoes!
Ran: Cheater!
Gingetsu wanders over to where Suu is perching. She
sighs.
Suu: ... It seemed like kind of a fun game. But I
didn't find happiness.
Gingetsu: Happiness isn't easy to find. Especially
for Clovers.
Suu: Yeah. Hey, are you really sleeping with him?
Gingetsu: ........
Suu: Lucky. I wanted to run off with Kazuhiko, but
Oruha's still alive in this fic. *pause* You think
they'd be okay with a threesome?
Gingetsu: ...You'd better ask them.
Suu: Yeah, I guess so.
Gingetsu: ...Being a Four-Leaf must be tough.
Suu: Yeah.
Gingetsu: I'm going to have a drink. Something other
than tea. You?
Suu: Yes, please. Scotch on the rocks.
THE END
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