June 17, 1928--

Father's Day, but not mine. I didn't get a blessed thing that'd remind me I am a papa. Pardon me, it's not quite true. I got a free ride to Prospect Park and had a glad hand shake from an old time fat-lipped, sallow faced, squash-nosed gentleman who took his family out for an excursion to the park. His little army consisted of two babes in a weather-beaten go-cart, one poodle dog tied underneath it, being a disgrace to its species as it looked more like a waylaid hungry cat than an adoring pup. And the other members of his crew were a set of tots, going up step by step, gradually reaching eight steps or sixteen feet strong. My old-time acquaintance is not satisfied as yet. He thinks his family staircase did not reach its normal height and he contemplates building another set at the very bottom.

We talked of the near past and the far future and we drank plenty of water. I fetched in a three-quart mug, from a nearby pump while listening to classical music and we enjoyed a motherlike Father's Day.

June 22-

-Up on a rainy morn and was surprised to find a heavy lock on my storefront. A policeman gave me the key with an explanation that he found the door open so he went in and took a lock and safeguarded my humble possessions. I was very much grateful to him for his prompt attention and very, very much vexed with my careless absent-mindedness and I set my meager portion of brains in motion how to repay the worthy officer for his vigil watch.

The door was not jimmied or forced open in any way and not detecting any noticeable shortage, we came to the conclusion that it was merely a case of forgetfulness, so not to be worried by unnecessary worries, I determined to forget this worrisome incident and I proceeded with my continuous worries.

TO MINNIE'S GRADUATION

A paternal congratulation

To his daughter's graduation

Is a token of inspiration

Far above admiration.

I therefore take pride

In your successive stride

Towards an educational guide

That's sound and tried

Use your brain and soul

Aim at the top of the pole

Then you'll reach your goal

And you'll be on the honor-roll.

Question: Am I nervous?--Answer: Why shouldn't I be?--Our beloved governor is nominated for president and I am nervous about his election. My daughter Minnie is going to High School and I am nervous about her final exams fearing that she will flunk and postpone her entry to college. My dear son Lester is on the honor-roll and I am highly nervous he shouldn't roll off it.

My sister Bessie is packing up for a good time in the Catskill's but I am nervous about it; because she has her heart in Montgomery Street and as it is well known we cannot have a good time in the absence of our heart no matter how many spades on picks up.

Florence H is bent and prepared to go to a camp but I am extremely nervous as she is all head and to convert vegetables and milk and eggs into blood and iron we must have a heart - a good pump to do effective work. And as she has the full-sized shape of a tooth pick. She has no room for a digestive system and she will pick on herself and come back like a match stick--all aflame with enthusiasm but no substance.

So I am nervous. Little Chu Chu Selwyn discarded his ash can. He simply creeps out of it and runs outside. He makes me nervous. We strap him in his pushmobile but he creeps out from under it - a regular Houdini. He runs in the gutter. Isn't it enough to make you nervous? Business is fitful with high and low bill - pressure. I think I am nervous and will contemplate a rest cure. Try and get it.

July 1-

-After a variety of duties such as: eating, opening the store, closing the store, repeating a dozen times--gee it's hot; reading, lounging on and slipping off the bed, we took a ride to Coney Island. (I guess there is no need for explanation who made a "we" out of me). As we took a ride to Coney Island - the land of the free and the home of the "crave".

But you certainly do crave out there everything you see. It's a good thing I went there with my wife so we kept each other back from spending overlavishly.

When I suggested a frankfurter she begged for the ice cream which I nonchalantly refused claiming that on the board-walk it's too cold for same. And so did she cool off my extravagant longings and we had a good time. We quenched our curiosity with a couple of orangeades because we could not possibly get clear water.

We were shoved and buffeted to our hearts discontent and we took in a good dose of salt from the ocean breeze and enough noise to ring in our ears for a fortnight and freightlike we were jammed in a car and were glad to relieve of the joy-ride.

July 4 '28

Up betimes and went to the store to watch the deserted streets void of its regular flow of humanity. It's a terribly warm day. The Declaration of Independence breathes boiling enthusiasm. But to cool myself off I am just thinking how far from independence I am and how near slavery is my plight. That keeps me cool and peps me up to screen a ladies window, against the freedom of flies.

Was moved to read of Lowenstein, one of the richest men in the world, always watched and protected by a suite of servants, who slipped out by a mistaken door from his airplane and was unnoticeably drowned in the depths of the sea. It shows us that nobody is insured against nature and accident,--a touch of gratification for a poor man.

Was glad to see a cat munching on a mouse in the back store, thereby ridding the place of another bit of nuisance. It's of little importance to you, I suppose, but of considerable importance to me and my spouse who shudders with fright at a mouse's scratch and sight. So all that happened on July the fifth.

On The Beach

I am lying on the moonlit sand and watching confidentially the waves rolling playfully a safe distance away. I am flirting with the stars above which are winking to me with eye and body. And a light shade of a cloud is hanging somewhere and drifts nowhere in particular.

And-bing-I feel a shock in my system and up goes my head emerging out of a mist to see what struck me. I see a frail form holding on to its heels and I hear a feeble voice begging for my pardon. She tripped accidentally and could not help kicking me. I reluctantly granted her my pardon and fell back to the sands.

I hear a chatter of a strange language besides me. A group of ocean-breeze-seekers, comprising babes, juniors, females, and seniors- a nation in miniature were gobbling cake and strange words that sounded like a sneezing contest and an imitation of the waves combined. I was glad to see them pickup a big packing case, which served them as a lounge and luggage carrier and they departed for their destination. I was just ready to concentrate within myself suddenly I felt a cooling wetness within my trousers.

I jumped up to find the treacherous waves licking the sands right beneath me and I was ready to fall into a fury. But the refreshing breezes cooled me on top and being cool all around, I retired for a pleasant quiet rest.

Inquisitiveness

It's 12 o'clock P.M. and I am ready to return. I am about to pull the shade down over my window when a strong light on the opposite side attracted my attention. I look and see a feminine leg clear and stripped outstretched in full length, turning gracefully in a rhythmic motion. At first I thought it was a ghost playing tricks on my imagination.

But after rubbing my eyes, I beheld the figure of a grand old man holding a reflector in his hand and shedding healing rays on his mated biped. I was glad to see one man giving nursing care to his wife and after casting one more look on the well-shaped leg, I wished its possessor a god-sped cure and suppressing any and all burlesque thoughts within my fancy, I innocently retired.

July 17

Yep, she is here. She just came back from the camp. You mean Florence, don't you?--Well, you ought to see her. You wouldn't recognize her. She gained about sixteen ounces and grew more than an inch. She had some good time. You ought to hear the nice songs she learned there.

You want to hear one?--Where are you going? Billy Boy, Billy Boy, Where are you going Charming Billy etc. Ain't that nice? And here is another one: I am a Tex, I am a Tex, I am a Texas star, straight from the land where the broncos are. She certainly had her fun. Had you seen her swim in the pool, you'd say she is a regular fish, not a Heifech. And the fun she had on ghost-night. She was scared stiff when she saw a real ghost dressed in white, creeping around in a dark room. Wasn't that nice? And talk about eats. She nearly won a prize for being the biggest eater. If she liked a dish she double doubled up on it with the encouragement of the counselor.

But it certainly went quick. Two weeks is like a day. Here she kissed everybody good bye: Here she got the same seven kisses back again and she is on her way to the bank and the shade man.

Mammy, am I going back to the country?

July 20-

-I am lazy like a millionairess or like a self-satisfied hobo. The heat is sapping me. All my ambition is evaporating. Glad I am not a nursing female...

I am sitting comfortably on a broken chair a customer brought back and am watching diligently my fan working patiently my electric bill up humming sweetly an Edison tune and throwing a lullifying spell on my pepless being. My eyes are drowsily watching the advent of a shopper which is not in sight. The sidewalks are free and clear. I feel like on a desert Isle enjoying the quiet hermitage and peace, at the same time longing for the presence of a haranguing buyer that keeps me movable and talkative.

I am patiently sitting and awaiting something, I know not what.

July 25--

Opened the store ambitionlessly and obstructed the very front with so called attractive sellers. Sat down, lifelessly to read the paper. Was interrupted with a sale of 5 cents sand paper and proceeded with my scanning the newspaper. After being well posted with all the news of the day, I swept the store a bit and left enough for my wife to finish up.

Looked the mail over and swore inwardly at the wholesalers for having the audacity to ask for money. Read the paper once again and departed for the court house to procure a summons for a wise yokel who ordered a screen door and wouldn't accept it. While walking on my way, and reading the paper, I see a blot of manure drop down from above right in the column that held my attention. The sun was shining bright and there was no dirty clouds so I was wondering whence it came from. But after close observation, I saw a little bird sitting on the telegraph wire right above me. That cleared up the mystery and I took it for a sign of good luck.

After procuring the summons I made haste to serve it on the man and am in readiness for a legal fight.

*********************

To be continued

Let me read more! (click here)

Copyright© 2006 Sylvain All rights reserved