Date:14 August 1997
Time:12pm

I forgot to tell you what happened..It really is quite funny, yet sad aswell. Tuesday night, we go for dinner at my mums' place, as you know...My grandmother also comes aswell (We call her Boobie). My Boobie is nearly 80 years old...Widowed for 18 years (my grandfather died 3 days after my 7th Birthday in 1979). Anyway, now Boobie is semi-incontinent..The worst thing about this, is that she is in denial about it, and won't wear a pad. (if your not disgusted yet...keep reading!). After dinner, Dad wants to take us to the beach in his NEW car, and get us an icecream. So in we get to the car..I ran to the front passenger seat (me being daddy's girl and all!) and left hubby sitting in the middle in the back seat...My mother helps my Boobie into the car on the nature strip side. After she gets in, my hubby's face goes blue from holding his nose...Then my mother goes and sits on the other side (road side), unbeknowingly brings in doggy poo on her shoes...Hubby now is choking and gasping for air as he sits between two smelly women. My dad went searching for his driving glasses, and comes back with a scrap of cloth, so mum can wipe her shoes...She does this careful not to get it on her hands...

Okay, so we get to Acland St Balaclava, and we go into the icecream place and my mum asks the saleswomen whether she could use the basin to wash her hands. The women says no...My mum says "How can I eat an icecream with dirty hands, can't you watch me wash my hands ? (basin is in back of store)" the Women says that it is company policy that my mum can't use their basin to wash her hands..Okay, Mum goes next door to the cake shop and they let her use their basin...Mum comes back and tells the women that she would like a frozen youghurt with strawberries. The women makes it and places the mix into a cone...No sooner had she put it in the cone holder on the counter, the icecream flops onto the counter. Mum told the women, and the women gave mum dagger looks...(Me and hubby watched in horror), but she made another one and was careful not to overfill the cone..Finally we got the icecreams and went back to the car. It was a harrowing experience.

Dad starts driving with one hand (Dad's a truckie and they are the KINGS of the road!!!). No sooner had he turned the corner, when Boobie shoves her icecream into his beard and says " I can't have anymore, heres mine!" Dad looks at me, with icecream in his beard and says" can you feed it to me.?" So here I am holding my icecream in one hand and one in the other, feeding it to my dad in intervals. Then I can't finish all of mine and my mum conveniently asked to taste my flavour. So I said "Sure you can..." Handed it to her, and she said "Very tasty" So I said "Good you can finish it, I can't have anymore..." Mum realises she's been duped and starts to grumble... (Hubby realises he is just reliving a Freddy's Nightmare episode and shuts his mouth...).

Finally we get back to my parents house, and hubby literally flies out the car and bids aduie to the crazy trio...Mum screams out "we had fun being with you two young ones". We leave hurriedly and wave goodbye.. Back in our car, Hubby looks at me with a worried look and I look back with a smile on my face. Sensitive aren't I??? I think I noticed my first grey hair in the mirror when I finally got home.

My mo-in-law has a cold, poor thing. Her eyes were running, her nose and to top it off she was coughing all over the place...I hate seeing sick people (great nurse I am!). Then we went to my Hubby's sis's place and fix up her new LP player. Her youngest (6 months) cries, so she brings him out, and despite him not being able to breath properly because of his cold, Aunty Soosh gets to hold him, whilst mum is busy. I love children, especially at that age. I give him a back massage and a foot massage (to calm him and get the lymphatic drainage flowing), and he looks up with me in delight. He is slightly less conjested now, so I talk to him and play a game, he smiles appreciatively and watches me intently. I realise now, that I am getting very clucky and I know that I see myself having children in a couple of years ( I actually thought I was pregnant 2 weeks ago, but I am glad that I wasn't because now is not the right time to have kids...I have hubby instead!).

Just before I go, last but not least, I want to wish a cyberfriend a truly Happy Birthday...this friend has enriched my life....So here now, I will sing in my songbird voice "Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday to you..." Many happy returns of the day.....

For all those people who have colds and need to be cheered up, here is a special treat...