how to...continued
"4. Disclaim responsibility. This is a little more complex than
strategy 3, and often includes what is referred to as "codependency".
The classic way to play this strategy is to cater to the partner(s)
involved while repressing one's own desires and questions. This
allows a good head of resentment to build up, and one can justify
anger by saying one has done so *much* for one's partner(s) and gets
no thanks, etc. In its most refined state, this strategy makes the
other person(s) responsible for setting the direction, pace and
content of the relationship, for which one can them blame them if
one's own expectations or needs are not met. Using strategy 2 to
avoid knowledge of these expectations and needs gets double points."
"5. Push. This is an art, albeit a crude one. When augmented with
strategy 6, pushing can achieve spectacular negative results in even a
short time. Remember, when pushing, only *your* satisfaction counts!
It's a dog eat dog world, and you're a pit bull. Emotional and mental
bullying can be as satisfying as old-fashioned physical coercion, and
not nearly as easily prosecutable."
"6. Play on insecurity. This is an old favorite. Using sexual
insecurity as a weapon and combining this with strategy 5 is a
four-star winner. Attempting to control one's partner(s) by
manipulating them through their insecurities is a sure-fire f***-up
tactic. It's so much more delicate than simply beating them up, too,
though the resultant emotional damage can be remarkably similar."
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(note: the above was originally published by Elise Matthesen)
