Motherly Words to Think about!
Women Speak Out Mothers Thoughts:
Bringing up three children with working as a nurse.. I planned my hours during the night shift 11-7. I was home in time to see them off to school, took a nap, and was with them in the evening and tucked them into bed. I kept active with PTA and would visit their teacher once a month for a oral report. I find that keeping a child busy is a great way to fill their time, other than school activities. I insisted they take a sport, music lesson, chores at home, and active in the church groups. By the time the day ended they were tired enough to go to bed and didn't have time for other things . I also do not believe in "spanking or hitting" a child. Working the ER I would see children come in with problems, even a bruised spanking can cause a blood clot. When I made a punishment it stayed and I never relented to them. But would find praise and rewards for their achievments. My reward was to have all three went to college, and see them as productive members of society. The only thing that I regret is that I wish I could of been more of a full time MOM... my main goal to them was "you owe society, society owes you nothing" ~~~~~~~~~~~~ The best thing I can say about parenting............ Stay close enough to your children to love them, but far back enough to respect them. They ARE human beings too, just like YOU! ~~~~~~ In my experience as a mom (I have a son 30 and daughter 26), I found one of the most important things we can do for our children is to listen. We must listen with our hearts as well as our minds when our children speak to us. We must be able to listen to our children when they speak "without words".......we must be able to listen to their moods and listen to their gestures. Children speak to us in many ways and all we need to do is to just listen. Jackie from CA ~~~~~~ When temperatures are running high, and you want to "scream and shout", (mothers of teen will appreciate that emotion most), Speak softly, you'll find that they will quiet down in order to hear you. Brenda ~~~~~~~ You can not love a child to much But you can spoil them with material things Listen to them there is much to be learned ~~~~~~ Hello, I am responding to the request for some words of wisdom on children. I have raised or been a part of the upbringing of seven children, six sons and one daughter, now between the ages of twenty and thirty-nine. Five of them were of my body, one was of my heart (my husband's from his first marriage) and one from my very being (a sister's son who was needy). They were taught family, by family, I mean to look out for each other. If one has, he is expected to make sure each has what the other needs. They, of course, were taught the Master was the head of all families, especially ours. They were taught to love all people, as people. Today, the teachings seem to have paid off, no one is hungry, everyone has somewhere to live, there are a number of college graduates (whom everyone helped) and all seven are employed. While away in the Military the sons were the envy of their units, they received so many "care packages." The family has grown to include people I barely know their names, because of close friendships built over the years. Also our family photo would look like a United Nations Photograph. Yes, we have had some problems, one son served three months in a jail, two sons did not speak to each other for six months, one son refused any contact with the family for a year because he misunderstood a remark, but, he now drives eight hundred miles for all holidays. I think the most important elements to teach children are love and family, with those tools everything else will follow. Par-Daron ~~~~~~ What I have written is more about advice for parents than just mothers and is directly related to the philosophy and beliefs that I developed over a span of thirty-five years of teaching in the public schools in my home town. I taught twenty-four years on the elementary school level, mostly Grade 6, and eleven years teaching middle school Mathematics and World Cultures in Grade 7. What I have written about is what I tried to help parents of the children I taught come to understand. In the aftermath of the Littleton, CO tragedy, every parent in our country needs to take a good look at the nature in which they spend time with their children, while making sure that each of their children is loved beyond measure. That does not mean that time and love should transform into overindulgence, whether it be with material things or allowing them too much of anything, such as TV or computer games. What must be understood by parents is that invoking the word "No" will not make the child hate them, no matter how they may respond. What is of utmost importance is demonstrating their love by fair and just discipline, proving to the children that they love them enough to teach them right from wrong. While giving them enough latitude to satisfy their wants, needs and curiosity, they also must teach them that there is a line to be drawn--one which defines the relationship between responsibility and accountability. From that teaching emerges a child's healthy self esteem, with the realization that their parents love them enough to make sure they are prevented from doing what the children already know is wrong. If they know something is wrong to do, and the parents only voice displeasure and do nothing more about it, then they come to believe that the parents don't care enough about them nor care whether or not they get into trouble. And, when repetition of the wrongdoing occurs, and there is no accountability attached to any other expression of displeasure, then children learn that no matter what the wrongdoing is, there will be nothing more to expect than a dressing down. The more wrong a child does, the more he/she is pushing to see where that line is drawn, and, often, to see if it ever will be. If it is not well defined and redrawn at the same place, providing consistency in discipline, then the child becomes insecure, and pushes even harder, time after time, as if to say, "Look at what I'm doing! Pay attention to the wrongness of it! Love me enough to stop me!" By the time the child is in trouble outside of the home, it is too late to draw the line. Then, it becomes the responsibility of the school and legal authorities, and their measures of discipline mean nothing to the child by this time. Why should they care what happens to them? After all, their parents really, never cared enough about them to prevent them from going that far. If they believe their parents don't love them, they come to feel unworthy, and then can't love themselves. Without enough regard for their own well being, then they have no regard for any one else's. That is when the taking of someone else's life becomes meaningless to them. What will be the next tragedy, and when will it all end? How many more wake-up calls do parents of our nation need to understand how to avoid the potential tragedies they create in their own homes? ~~~~~~~ I have found, in my 28 years of parenting, that "listening" is the most important advice I can give! It is also important to remember that each child is so different and must never be compared to another sibling. Even in my busy everyday schedule, I always make time for each child, just to check in and find out if anything is on their mind, help with solutions to their peer pressure problems, etc. Most importantly, I ask for their forgiveness, when I've overreacted to a situation (which happens alot). I let them know that I'm only human and sometimes I make mistakes, but I also let them know that my protectiveness of them is only out of love and concern. I make my children my top priority...always...and they know it! Hope this is helpful........Eileen ~~~~~~~ Visit the Mother's Day Page, not just for mother's day at: Happy Mother's Day, With Love WORLD'S MEANEST MOTHER I had the meanest mother in the whole world. While other kids ate candy for breakfast, I had to have cereal, eggs and toast. When others had coke and candy for lunch, I had to eat a sandwich. As you can guess, my dinner was different too from other children. My mother insisted in knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were on a chain gang. She had to know who our friends were and what we were doing. She insisted that if we said we'd be gone for an hour, that we would be gone for an hour or less. I am ashamed to admit it, but she actually had the nerve to break the child labor law. She made us work! We had to learn to wash dishes, make beds, learn to cook and all sorts of cruel things. I believe she lay awake nights thinking up mean things for us to do. She always insisted on telling us the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers she was much wiser, and our lives became rougher. None of this tooting the horn of a car for us to come running. She embarrassed us no end by making our dates and friends come to the door to get us. I forgot to mention, while my friends were dating at the mature age of 12 and 13, my old-fashioned mother refused to let me date until I was 15 and 16. My mother was a complete failure as a mother. None of us has ever been arrested, or beaten a spouse. Each of my brothers served his time in the service of his country. And who do we have to blame for this terrible way we turned out? You are right, our mean mother. Look at all the things we missed. We never got to take part in a riot, burn our draft cards and a million and one other things that our friends did. She made us grow up into respectful, educated, honest adults. Using this as a background, I am trying to raise my children. I stand a little taller and I am filled with pride when my children call me mean. You see, I thank God, He gave me the meanest mother in the whole world. I think the world could use more mean moms and dads. womansworldlove@aol.com Back to Woman's World Main
Bringing up three children with working as a nurse..
I planned my hours during the night shift 11-7.
I was home in time to see them off to school, took a nap, and was with them in the evening and tucked them into bed. I kept active with PTA and would
visit their teacher once a month for a oral report.
I find that keeping a child busy is a great way to fill their time, other than school activities. I insisted they take a sport, music lesson, chores at home, and active in the church groups. By the time the day ended they were tired enough to go to bed and
didn't have time for other things . I also do not believe in "spanking or hitting" a child.
Working the ER I would see children come in with problems, even a bruised spanking can cause a blood clot. When I made a punishment it stayed and
I never relented to them. But would find praise and rewards for their achievments.
My reward was to have all three went to college, and see them as productive members of society.
The only thing that I regret is that I wish I could of been more of a full time MOM...
my main goal to them was "you owe society, society owes you nothing"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The best thing I can say about parenting............
Stay close enough to your children to love them,
but far back enough to respect them.
They ARE human beings too, just like YOU!
~~~~~~
In my experience as a mom (I have a son 30 and daughter 26), I found one of the most important things we can do for our children is to listen. We must listen with our hearts as well as our minds
when our children speak to us. We must be able to listen to our children when they speak "without words".......we must be able to listen to their moods and listen to their gestures. Children speak to us in many ways and all we need to do is to just listen.
Jackie from CA
When temperatures are running high, and you want
to "scream and shout", (mothers of teen will appreciate that emotion most), Speak softly, you'll find that they will quiet down in order to hear you.
Brenda
~~~~~~~
You can not love a child to much
But you can spoil them with
material things
Listen to them there is much to be
learned
Hello, I am responding to the request for some
words of wisdom on children. I have raised or been
a part of the upbringing of seven children, six sons and one daughter, now between the ages of twenty and thirty-nine. Five of them were of my body, one was of my heart (my husband's from his first marriage) and one from my very being (a sister's
son who was needy). They were taught family, by family, I mean to look out for each other.
If one has, he is expected to make sure each has what the other needs. They, of course, were taught the Master was the head of all families, especially ours. They were taught to love all people, as people.
Today, the teachings seem to have paid off,
no one is hungry, everyone has somewhere to live, there are a number of college graduates (whom everyone helped) and all seven are employed.
While away in the Military the sons were the envy of their units, they received so many "care packages." The family has grown to include people
I barely know their names, because of close friendships built over the years.
Also our family photo would look like a
United Nations Photograph. Yes, we have had some problems, one son served three months in a jail, two sons did not speak to each other for six months,
one son refused any contact with the family for a year because he misunderstood a remark,
but, he now drives eight hundred miles for all holidays. I think the most important elements to teach children are love and family, with those tools everything else will follow.
Par-Daron
What I have written is more about advice for
parents than just mothers and is directly related to the philosophy and beliefs that I developed over a span of thirty-five years of teaching in the public schools in my home town. I taught twenty-four years on the elementary school level, mostly Grade 6, and eleven years teaching middle school Mathematics
and World Cultures in Grade 7. What I have written about is what I tried to help parents of the children I taught come to understand.
In the aftermath of the Littleton, CO tragedy,
every parent in our country needs to take a good
look at the nature in which they spend time with their children, while making sure that each of their children is loved beyond measure.
That does not mean that time and love should transform into overindulgence, whether it be with material things or allowing them too much of anything, such as TV or computer games. What must be understood by parents is that invoking the word "No" will not make the child hate them,
no matter how they may respond. What is of utmost importance is demonstrating their love by fair and just discipline, proving to the children that they love them enough to teach them right from wrong.
While giving them enough latitude to satisfy their wants, needs and curiosity, they also must teach
them that there is a line to be drawn--one which defines the relationship between responsibility and accountability.
From that teaching emerges a child's healthy self esteem, with the realization that their parents love them enough to make sure they are prevented from doing what the children already know is wrong. If they know something is wrong to do,
and the parents only voice displeasure
and do nothing more about it, then they come to believe that the parents don't care enough about them nor care whether or not they get into trouble. And, when repetition of the wrongdoing occurs,
and there is no accountability attached to any other expression of displeasure,
then children learn that no matter what the wrongdoing is, there will be nothing more to expect than a dressing down.
The more wrong a child does, the more he/she is pushing to see where that line is drawn, and, often,
to see if it ever will be.
If it is not well defined and redrawn at the same place, providing consistency in discipline, then the child becomes insecure, and pushes even harder,
time after time, as if to say, "Look at what I'm doing! Pay attention to the wrongness of it!
Love me enough to stop me!" By the time the child is in trouble outside of the home,
it is too late to draw the line.
Then, it becomes the responsibility of the school and legal authorities,
and their measures of discipline mean nothing to the child by this time.
Why should they care what happens to them?
After all, their parents really, never cared enough about them to prevent them from going that far.
If they believe their parents don't love them, they come to feel unworthy, and then can't love themselves.
Without enough regard for their own well being,
then they have no regard for any one else's. That is when the taking of someone else's life becomes meaningless to them.
What will be the next tragedy,
and when will it all end?
How many more wake-up calls do parents of our nation need to understand how to avoid the potential tragedies they create in their own homes?
I have found, in my 28 years of parenting, that "listening" is the most important advice I can give! It is also important to remember that each child is so different and must never be compared to another sibling. Even in my busy everyday schedule, I always make time for each child, just to check in and find out if anything is on their mind, help with solutions to their peer pressure problems, etc. Most importantly, I ask for their forgiveness, when I've overreacted to a situation (which happens alot). I let them know that I'm only human and sometimes I make mistakes, but I also let them know that my protectiveness of them is only out of love and concern. I make my children my top priority...always...and they know it! Hope this is helpful........Eileen ~~~~~~~
I have found, in my 28 years of parenting, that "listening" is the most important advice I can give! It is also important to remember that each child is so different and must never be compared to another sibling.
Even in my busy everyday schedule, I always make time for each child, just to check in and find out if anything is on their mind, help with solutions to their peer pressure problems, etc.
Most importantly, I ask for their forgiveness, when I've overreacted to a situation (which happens alot). I let them know that I'm only human and sometimes I make mistakes, but I also let them know that my protectiveness of them is only out of love and concern. I make my children my top priority...always...and they know it!
Hope this is helpful........Eileen
Visit the Mother's Day Page, not just for mother's day at:
Happy Mother's Day, With Love
WORLD'S MEANEST MOTHER
I had the meanest mother in the whole world. While other kids ate
candy for breakfast, I had to have cereal, eggs and toast. When others had
coke and candy for lunch, I had to eat a sandwich.
As you can guess, my
dinner was different too from other children.
My mother insisted in knowing where we were at all times.
You'd think
we were on a chain gang. She had to know who our friends were and what we
were doing.
She insisted that if we said we'd be gone for an hour, that we
would be gone for an hour or less.
I am ashamed to admit it, but she actually had the nerve to break the
child labor law. She made us work!
We had to learn to wash dishes, make
beds, learn to cook and all sorts of cruel things.
I believe she lay awake
nights thinking up mean things for us to do.
She always insisted on telling us the truth,
the whole truth and
nothing but the truth.
By the time we were teenagers she was much wiser,
and our lives became rougher.
None of this tooting the horn of a car for us to come running.
She
embarrassed us no end by making our dates and friends come to the door to
get us.
I forgot to mention, while my friends were dating at the mature
age of 12 and 13,
my old-fashioned mother refused to let me date until I
was 15 and 16.
My mother was a complete failure as a mother.
None of us has ever
been arrested, or beaten a spouse.
Each of my brothers served his time in
the service of his country.
And who do we have to blame for this terrible
way we turned out?
You are right, our mean mother.
Look at all the things we missed.
We never got to take part in a
riot, burn our draft cards and a million and one other things that our
friends did.
She made us grow up into respectful, educated, honest adults.
Using this as a background, I am trying to raise my children.
I stand
a little taller and I am filled with pride when my children call me mean.
You see, I thank God, He gave me the meanest mother in the whole world. I
think the world could use more mean moms and dads.
womansworldlove@aol.com
Back to Woman's World Main
