It seems to me that a definite prejudice against "birth" mothers exists, not just in adoption circles but in general.
For instance, whenever I tell someone that I gave my daughter up for adoption, they tell me I made a good decision. They don't have any idea what kind of mother I am; they don't have any idea what kind of life she had. They just assume that any child lost to adoption is better off. They assume that all mothers who lose their children to adoption are bad, and at the same time they assume that all adopters are good.
None of these assumptions are true. Not all adopters are good at caring for the children they adopt; they are as screwed up as the rest of society. And, many women who've lost a child to adoption turn out to be excellent mothers. The prejudice against natural mothers who've lost their children does exist.
I've posted a list of rude comments about these lost mothers (mostly by adopters) that I've seen on the Internet. Please read them and try to understand what it would feel like to have these comments directed at you or your child:
I promise to add more to this page soon. Any suggestion or information you have for this page will be much appreciated. Thank you.
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