The things I have learned about relationships!  The fact is that it's all about SELF.  The only thing we have any control over is our own reaction.  We have absolutely NO control over another's actions or reactions, so why try?  Yet we do.  Over and over, we invent all sorts of games and manipulations.  And we tell ourselves: "If only they'd change, we would be happy...."   I finally realized the only thing all of the lousy relationships I'd been in had in common was ME!  Then I came to the startling conclusion that the only thing that had to be changed for the quality of my relationships to improve was...you guessed it!  ME!

Following are some bits of wisdom sent to me in an email some time ago.  I wish I knew who the author was so I could give proper credit...

*If you are not leaning, no one will ever let you down * Whatever you resist persists * You can love someone and not like the way they act * Too often we want justice just for us * Look for opportunity, not guarantees * We fear the thing we want the most * Whatever you assume to be true will become real for you * Life is what's coming, not what was * You must give up the way it is to have it the way you want it *  If you don't change your beliefs your life will be like this forever...is that good news? *  We move towards what we picture in our mind *  The more investment you have in your beliefs, the harder it is to change them *  There is no growth without discontent *  The rewards in life go to those who are willing to give up the past *  You are the cause, not the effect * People would rather be right than be happy *  You get treated in life the way you train people to treat you *  Dependency is slavery by mutual agreement *  If you don't make a choice, someone else will choose for you * Learn to create, not complete *  Meet me half way, you need the exercise *  The biggest lie on the planet: "When I get what I want I will be happy." *  If you and your partner always agree, one of you is unnecessary *  We neither get better or worse as we get older, but more like ourselves *  There is no security between the cradle and the grave *  Not to decide is to decide * The clearer you are on what you want, the more power you will have *  God doesn't make faulty products *  There are only two things you have to do in life, you have to die, and you have to live until you die. You make up all the rest *  Paradox: if you give up the need for security, you will be secure *  You can be happy or you can be justified. You can't be both *  If you think something outside of yourself is the cause of your problem, you will look outside of yourself for the answer *  Keep the lesson but throw away the experience *  When it becomes more difficulty to suffer than to change, you will change *  Some people try to softly tiptoe through life so that they can arrive at death safely *

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