In January, the first month of the year, all I've wanted was to begin my life over with someone to love. I had a relationship at that time although it didn't last that long; it wasn't a big surprise.
In the month of May, I turned everything around, during that time I thought (why not) why not do what I do. I will only have one chance and I was still a kid, who needs to do mistakes. But in the inside I knew I had made many mistakes threw a short period of time.
Life wasn't that bad, although now I don't have too much trouble with guys and everything, but I keep my self occupied with trouble. Now it's with my family, we can seem to get along, whatever we do. I began to get depressed more and more as day came by. All I could think is my problems, my pass, my rapes, and the fights in our family. I know I don't have a bad family, but it didn't ad up well to my pile of bad memories.
On Canada day, my parents were out of town, I went to the Parlement hill with some friends and came back home later on with three of my friends. My girl friend went home and with my 2 other friends we began to drink, After a while we decided to drive my parent's car, and well can you figure out the rest? Yes I drove and crashed. I left home for two weeks, I was living at friend's house, and I tried to find my self-more boyfriends so I could have a house to stay in. I had two boyfriends on the first week and 2 other on the last week. I didn't know what I was doing; I just wanted a place to stay. I didn't like it being run away from home, I missed the feeling of being alone, no one around me, time to think and talk to my self.
At the end of the second week I came back home and was still going out with the two guys. I didn't want to be one of them but I didn't find the time to tell him, since one of them went to my school and the other I worked with. It was hard but I managed to get it threw.
My friend Nadia, started to ditch me because she was afraid her reputation will start to go bad, she changed school and everything, I really loved her, she was a good friend. I know I fucked up and made her go into troubled, but that's the way I was and there's nothing I can do about it now. I'M SORRY!.
At the end of the year in November, everything changed in my life, I didn't thought I could do it but I did, I finally changed. I was seeing only ONE guy and loved him with every beat of my heart. He understood me, and he knew everything that had happen to me, still he didn't stop being with me. He knew how I was, and all he did is to see how I AM not then but now. He did, and we haven't lost love since.
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