*The Ultrasound* *Christmas* *The Surgeon*
I cant tell you how many times I felt and refelt that day, I was sure it had to be a mistake. I felt it with my arm up, arm down, behind my head. I compared it to the right breast. When I met up with my mother her first reaction was that she it was probably a raw spot caused by a rubbing underwire. When she felt the lump she offered to call the doctor right then. I told her that being Saturday they would make me wait until Monday anyways so we might as well finish our shopping.
I remember a cloud of depression following me that day as I shopped. One sales clerk in a sporting good store made the comment about me not looking too happy. I wanted to scream, "I may have cancer you idiot!!!!!"
That night my friend Angie called me from Pensacola, Florida. She prayed with me and from that moment on, any fear of cancer I had was gone. I slept in perfect peace that night.
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Calling the nurse(12/20/98): The next day I awoke, checked again for the lump found it was still there. I went to church where I asked for healing prayer from two of the elders and annointed healers.
After church, I stopped by to see my parents. My mom told me that she had called my Gynecologist and that the on call nurse would be calling back soon.
When the nurse did call she told me not to worry, that in somone so young 90% of the time it was nothing. She asked me to call on Monday and make an appointment, assuring me that they would get me in within 24 hours knowing how scarey this could be.
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Having the Lump Examined (12/21/98): As promised I was able to get in to see a nurse on Monday. She felt that since the lump moved it could not be cancer. She told me that cancer almost always attached itself to the chest wall. She also assured me that at my age(32), lumps almost always turn out to be nothing. After some debate she decided that it would be best to have an ultrasound rather than a mamogram. My other Doctors regret that this decision was made, stating that a mamogram of the lump would have been helpful in reading other mamograms. The receptionist scheduled appointments for an ultrasound and with a surgeon.
Being the week of Christmas, it was going to be over a week to get in for an ultrasound. Even with the assurance that this was not cancer, I insisted that they get me in ASAP. While the receptionist made more phone calls, I broke down in tears. I cried out to the Lord, "I need your peace Lord, I am so afraid!!!!!" It was not long before that prayer was answered....I dont think I could even put it into words other than to say it was the peace that passes all understanding.
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The Ultrasound (12/23/98): My ultrasound was the only negative experience in the entire process of my diagnosis, care or healing. I took my Mom with me on this appointment as moral support. After taking my vital signs, the tech took me back to the exam room, but didnt want my mom to come in for the ultrasound. She told us that it was not policy to allow anyone else in the room and that she would not be able to answer any questions. After a small arguement and some tears, she relented. She directed me to a small room where I could change into a gown.
I thought that the tech had left the room so while I changed I made the comment to my mom that I didnt like this tech. I heard the tech say she was sorry and leave the room. When she returned she again stated she was not a doctor could and would not answer any questions and that if I wanted someone else to do the ultrasound I had that option. It was about 430pm the day before Christmas Eve and I knew that this appointment had been squeezed in so I let her continue. I later discussed this with the doctor and she assured me that they have no such policy against bringing somone in with you for an ultrasound.
To my untrained eye, the ultrasound looked like seaweed in an inland lake. We saved all our questions for the doctor. He explained to me that what he saw showed that the lump contained no fluid, therefore it was not a cyst. He believed the cyst to be begign but felt I should keep the appointment with the surgeon.
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Christmas(12/24/12/25): I celebrated the birth of Jesus in complete peace. I never mentioned to any of my family that I had found a lump. It was a blessing to have my sister and her husband in from Chicago, my brother in from North Carolina, and My Grandmother and Uncle in from Kalamazoo. It was the first time in over a year that we had been together all in one place.
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The Surgeon(12/28/98): Almost all of my appointments to my surgeon were brief and very direct. He reccomended that I have the lump removed so that he could look at it under a microscope. He also emphasied that at my age it would probably not turn out to be cancer.
We scheduled surgery for January 8th. This was also the weekend of a wrestling tournament that my dad was scheduled to host. He gave me permission to miss the 'seeding meeting' that night, but we both expected that I would be well enough to work at the tournament the next day.
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