Today I am officially resigning as a participent in the blame game. It is a game I have played all my life and it has become an obsession.
The blame game was a favorite pastime in my addicted family. Mistakes were immediately followed by emotional exchanges over who was at fault. I often was blamed, and I learned to blame others just as readily. In my adult life, the blame game has become an obsession. Sometimes I blame others and then am consumed with anger and bitterness. Or I take the blame and am swept up in a cycle of guilt and shame. Both responses divert energy from solving the problem and getting on with life.
Today if my inner child reacts out of hurt and fear, I will gently take control and thrust
thoughts of blame out of my mind. I will replace them with thoughts of peace and
tolerance, thereby rescuing both myself and others from the destruction wrought
by the blame game.
*Today I resign from the blame game.*
The small child pushes and pushes against the barrier, trying to move it. He backs up and runs, plowing into it. It remains where it is. After a few more attempts, he starts to play with something else, satisfied the barrier will not change. His play area is something he can count on.
In my dysfunctional family, the boundaries changed all the time. Sometimes I would go to where the boundaries had been-only to discover they were gone. As a result, limits and boundaries are things I didn't know were mine to have.
In recovery, I am learning it is okay for me to set up boundaries around myself. I can choose them and enforce their limits. This means that I can leave a situation if someone is abusive or even say no when I disagree. Today I will allow myself to begin enforcing boundaries that will make my environment safe and dependable. *I am protecting myself with healthy boundaries.*
Boundaries are not limitations. They map out my comfort zone from which I can soar in the freedom of who I am. Because I care about me and want the best for this person who is valuable, I will create my own boundaries. Carefully constructed, they will reflect where I am in my own emotional growth.
Sometimes others may not like the boundaries I set. I will maintain the boundaries in spite of their wishes and desires. I must feel safe to grow fully.
Boundaries are not cement barriers. They can be moved to accomadate new growth. I choose to give myself a safe place to grow by setting boundaries so others cannot intrude. It is a loving thing to do to set my limits. *Today I will set safe, reasonable boundaries for myself.*
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