Relationship of Love

The relationship of love is one of many emotions. In any relationship, there is always going to be ups and downs. In a love relationship, between two people who love each other, the ups and downs, can become a rollercoaster effect of emotions...one I am sure many have been through, a storm of sorts that all must endure, if they wish to reap the benefits. For some, it is all just a game. For others, relationships are the foundation for their inner being. For me, I am the latter. I will do what ever it takes, to keep my relationship with my husband happy, and fulfilling for both of us.

With most relationships of love, people in the beginning put on "airs" about who they are or what they are. They are always on their "best" behaviour..no matter what. Those are the moments we all look back on when we have spent time with one person, and tend to wonder..."what happened to that gentleman..or lady..I first knew."

After a while in a loving relationship, we all tend to let down that guard. Once you are in a timeless relationship where time is committed to each other, the fact is we all let ourselves be "seen" for who we really are. For some relationships, this is a building place...for others, it is a breaking place. I have recently learned, that a relationship based on love, with communication, and trust, can still perish if it is not tended to with the proper attention every relationship deserves.

In my own relationship with my husband, even though we have been married over 11 1/2 years...with the children, and working..and others in our lives, we started to draw away from one another. Believe me..no matter how stable your relationship is, it is the little things in it, that keep it going strong. It DOES matter, if you take care of yourself, to look good for him. Whether he says it or not, He really DOES notice! He WILL notice if the house isn't clean, or the laundry isn't done. I do those things for everyone, not just him, but to him, it shows that I am TAKING an interest in what goes on in our family, our little piece of the world.

I used to believe that if your heart was loving, and strong, and you believed in your relationship, that love would conqueor all other things that stood in your midst. I am here to tell you that it is not the case at all. My marriage, faultered through many storms. I unknowingly caused some of those storms because of my failure to realize what little things meant to him. I always enjoyed having little things done for me..but I am a woman, and a very affectionate person. At what point did I turn away from all that I thought was precious to me, believing he didn't care either. That question has plagued my mind alot over the past few months.

The reality is that as you get comfortable in a loving relationship, and let yourself "be" you, you can also become lazy believing that all will work out to your advantage in the end. I am not saying that every relationship that has lasted over ten years will become "lazy" , but what I am saying is that it is very easy to fall into that comfortable phase, and never realize what is actually going on in front of you, until it is much too late. In my marriage, I believe my husband, held alot of worry and upsetment on his shoulders, for fear of upseting me. He is very consciencious of others feelings, and as such, will hold back his hurt. That is what happened, taking alot on his shoulders, as I stood by, totally unaware. I went on day by day thinking there is always tomorrow, however, tomorrow never seemed to get here, so things just slid under the perverbial rug. Looking back on it all, the things that I overlooked then, seem so obvious now, no wonder he was frustrated! It has taken great pains for us to come to the point where we are now. I am hoping that by sharing this with whomever happens upon this page, that they may see something in their own life of storms, and I may help someone who doesn't see past the comfort zone..to what could lie beyond.

My life, with my storm, and my "rebirth" as it were, are definite signs that people can weather storms of this multitude. My husband and I are very happily married together, and as a true loving relationship between couples should be. I promised myself, never to put anyone through the incredible worry and pain that I had inadvertantly placed my family, and especially my husband in. I have learned so much over these past few years. Some people play such cruel games with others, and call it a relationship. Hate, is too hard a word to keep, even though sometimes it is truely warrented. Through every relationship, be it child/parent, be it adult to adult, or be it male to female.. all relationships need, want and desire love. Without it, no relationship can flourish. With it, combined with the trust and understanding of another's needs, wants, and expectations, you can finally know true happiness.

I have come along way from that person so long ago with no self esteem that started to write out this website. Slowly, as the building of this site, was the building of my soul. I am greatful to all that have helped me along the way, and I can tell you, although the ride is terrible, the ending for me at least, is a clear start of soemthing great. I have come to know that I can survive, and I can be... what ever it is that I desire. My family is stronger, my marriage is wonderful, as is my husband. For all that I have been through in my storm, It is a day by day occurance. It is a lived experience. Not to be forgotten, Hard to be forgiven, but easy to believe that there is Life out there, away from the storm. Someone once wrote in my guestbook and said that the best thing about storms, is that when they are through, everything is refreshed, and clean again. In other words, a new beginning.