January, 1999...
Thanks to my wife's new job I finally had an opportunity to do what I was longing for so long.
She had to go on a business trip to Germany for 4 days and I managed to have our son stay at the inlaws' for two days within this period.
So I had all the time in the world to take my stuff home and keep it there for a while without the risk of getting caught.
Time enough for a few decent makeovers and finally a chance to hit the town en femme.
Well, what next? Where to go? Would I really be brave enough to step outside? Would I pass as a girl in public?
A few days ahead of d-day I sent an e-mail to Sabine, who runs the www.transgender.at pages, asking her for good places to go to.
She has a few hints on her site so asked if these would be okay to go to and make my debut.
The first one is a club that has tv/ts/gay night every tuesday night. I've heard from other girls they haven't been too comfortable there because there were lots of men approaching them. Wouldn't be my cup of tea either.
But Sabine told me there was nothing to fear. She would be there on Tuesday to meet me and she was quite sure I would enjoy the place.
The other one was the local TG support group meetings which are scheduled for every other Wednesday or Monday at Vienna's gay community headquarters. Still a lot of open questions to me... First of all I didn't feel I needed support, all I wanted to do was to socialise.
Next it's a brave step to go to gay headquarters when you don't consider yourself gay. And finally this week's topic was "BDSM & TG - are there any connections?".. ouch.. BDSM? moi? I really had to think twice whether to go there.
Okay, so I figured I'd try the club on Tuesday, see what would happen and then decide what to do next.
The event started at 9:00 pm, closing time was set for 2:00 am.. I considered it would be wise not to get there before 10 because I wanted to make sure Sabine was already around when I arrived.
I started making over at about 8 o'clock, planning to be at the club by 10. Usually my makeovers don't take more than half an hour for I had to learn to be quick for my photo sessions as the average time I had to prepare, pose and remove the evidence never was beyond 3 hours.
But this time I was really surprised. I did worse than any "real" girl. It took me THREE HOURS to get ready. And I can't even remember what I wasted that much time on..
When I found out it was already 11 and i still haven't left the house I felt panic coming up. I knew it would take me more than half an hour to get to the club from my house.. Would Sabine still be around if I arrived around midnight?
The good thing about it was that I now was in a real hurry and had no time to think twice about what would happen after I actually left the house as a girl for the first time. I had to speed up so I just left and got to the car which was parked around the block. Never thought it would be that easy to just go out.
On my way to the car I had a little trouble to keep up my pace. I was wearing my little black summer dress and my thigh long wig, so I chose to wear the black heels Jackie sent me. Well, they are mile high and it really wasn't easy to get to the car quickly wearing them *smile*.
Driving to the club I got surprisingly relaxed for a debutant. I felt quite safe inside the car, only checked my looks in the rear view mirror about every 20 seconds *grin*, I wonder how many red lights I may have missed *LOL*.
I found a parking space only one block away from the club, so I could get there quickly from the car. Everything went cool as long as I was alone on the street, but then a man appeared on the other end of the block, heading in my direction. Panic again! A single girl alone on the street in the middle of the night!
What would I do if he approached me? How could I possibly run back to the car with my heels? Looks like you get more paranoid feeling like prey when you normally belong to the hunters party *giggle* (though I've never been a good hunter). I picked up speed and got to the club's front door a few seconds before that guy and quickly rang the bell.. He also stopped behind me.. *haha* he was another visitor of the club..
After endless seconds a very pretty girl (tg) opened the door and collected the entrance fee from both of us (I had to pay less for there's a price reduction if you get there dressed).
The guy went inside and I asked the girl if she knew Sabine and she replied, "yes, of course, they're already waiting for you, just follow me I'll take you there".
There were 6 girls sitting around two tables and Sabine came up to welcome me and introduce me to the others. Most of the girls were from the support group and one was a gg friend of Sabine's. Sabine told everyone it was my first time going out and they were very kind to me. I was asked to just sit down and accomodate and I would easily feel comfortable soon, and of course they were right.
There were already some conversations going on and I soon joined in. The girl next to me was a transitioning TS who very openly talked about her experiences of retaining her male business while already transitioning an the prospects of what to do about it at the end of transition.
I was asked about my own desire for transition and turned out to be one of the few lucky ones around to whom SRS is not an issue.
Later I looked around the place. It was real funny, I suddenly realized I was in a swingers' club. But people there were very cool, it seemed to me there was some sort of code as it was clear that some of us girls only came there to meet and talk because it was the only place to go to on Tuesdays.
So I got looked at, but nothing more. There were a few girls at the bar who seemed to be deeply into the game, but nobody 'harmed' us in our little corner. It was exactly as Sabine had told me before. There was nothing to fear - if you don't want to get hit on, you won't (and likewise, of course *smile*).
I later learned that the girl who opened the door and was the only waitress in the club was the president of the support group. She came over and asked Sabine to the bar because she needed to discuss some things about their web site.
Suddenly I was alone with the gg and we got to talk a little more. She told me it was her first time at the club. She knew Sabine as her male self and was really cool about us girls... I really felt quite comfortable by now. The good thing about meeting the girls separated from the crowd is you don't have to worry about e.g. your voice and stuff, for everybody knows what's the matter with you and can handle it cool.
Well, time flew and I wished I had come earlier. The girls got tired and left one by one. I asked them to have a pic taken of us, so I'd have something to remind me of my first night out. Everyone agreed and when it came to say goodbye it was really great to hear comments like "you should go out more often, you're really pretty". Hehe who wouldn't want to hear that over and over.
It was almost closing time but I didn't want to leave. As long as Chris (remember.. waitress? support group president?) was around I felt it was safe to stay and had myself a final cup of coffee at the bar and started a little conversation with Chris.
I felt like some kind of celebrity when she said, "You're the Judy from the web, aren't you?" *smile*. She was really nice and asked me to come to their meeting on Wednesday. I told her I wasn't sure if I could handle the BDSM topic but after all I enjoyed the girls' company and already was pretty sure I would go there the next evening.
She kind of insisted I come, so the decision was made quickly and I got ready to get home.
On my way home I tried to sort out the impressions of my first night on the town and found out one major thing about it.
Normally I feel very much like a girl every time I get online to chat with my web friends. I feel even more like a girl everytime I get a chance to dress up for myself at home. The difference there is I'm in front of the mirror all the time, so my looks are in focus of everything.
Being at the club I couldn't see myself. I felt single things that reminded me I was a girl, like the aching feet in the high heels (*giggle*) or the way my long hair teased my calves as I was sitting on the low stool at the table. But these were only single reminders and my overall feeling wasn't as much of being a girl rather than merely being ME in an extremely comfortable way. I never really felt this way before and considered in retrospective it was one of the best feelings I ever had.
Back home I didn't want to let this great day end so I stayed up and took some more pics of myself. I tried some new settings and today as I got the prints I found I didn't do too well with that.
Usually I pose in front of the bathroom door, which I use to get things in focus and then hurry in its place while the self timer runs down.
This time I was in the living room and didn't find a good object to point at, so most of the pics are quite out of focus. Anyway, maybe it's better like that because in the few sharp ones it'sd plain to see that my makeup was already pretty worn out and even if I didn't feel like it I had written "it's four in the morning" all over my face *smile*.
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